To ask those of you who remember teenage dating... will my DD be UR?

[redski101]

Can you please give me advice for me to pass onto teenage DD?! She’s 19. The boy in question is also 19. I’ve told her my opinion but also, no, she would like more opinions and to save younger DD and the entire family being asked, I offered to post here

DD has a messy dating history and her last relationship was emotionally abusive and she got out pretty damaged. After a few months of repairing and rebuilding, she has met a guy who seems lovely. He has known her friend for a year or so and she has vouched for him. DD has known him maybe two months as mutual friends but they hit it off three weeks ago.

They stalked talking at a club with friends and he bought her a drink. Since then, they’ve spoken every day, her mutual friends have said he likes her romantically and they’ve been on two outings which were date like in nature but not official dates. He has asked her to go the gym with him twice, and when there they just end up talking. Apparently he is not a massive fan of messaging, yet messages her everyday without fail.

Her mutual friends have, however, relayed that he is shy and she has to be very forward with him.

DD wants to tell him today when they go to the gym that she likes him in a romantic way. However, she doesn’t know if she’d be jumping the gun.

So, jury of mumsnet, take this to a vote!

I’ve told her she should tell him and that he can then go from there, but she must not be disappointed or too annoyed if he doesn’t respond in the same way.

Thank you everyone!

If more detail is required I can ask, however DD is at university and this is pieced together from the several paragraphs of text I have from her.

If she’s really that keen on him then I think she has to tell him sooner or later. When I was that age I’d get my hopes up and be really keen on someone and if it ended up not being reciprocated then you feel more let down if you’ve invested weeks into getting to know someone with the hopes of it being more than just friends. However she needs to be careful how she approaches it as he may be playing it cool until he gains confidence and if he feels like she is rushing things then it could put a dampener on things.
A conversation in the direction of “where is this going” without it being too full on would be my suggestion!! Oh to be young hey!!

TELL HIM!
Good luck to her x

Cant it just evolve naturally - shared pizza, night in, snog on the sofa?

She should just tell him! No ambiguity, just 'I like you, would you like to go on a proper date with me?'.

But good grief, I absolutely cannot imagine ever discussing boy issues like this with my mum when I was 19! I hope my DD will, so she can benefit from the experience I gained from my many failed relationships.

What were the two outings? Anything classically date like, or just going somewhere together?

If I were your DD I'd maybe suggest something that screams date like dinner and a film, see if he's interested.

If she doesn't want to lose face, it may be worth having the 'where is this going' conversation in message form rather than face to face. Then if he says, oh just hanging out as friends or whatever, it'll be easier for her to hide her disappointment and keep the friendship.

Actions speak louder than words!

He sounds a bit like my dh. If I hadn’t been completely blunt with him he would still be too shy to make any kind of a move. I would tell her to do what I did, tell him, “Look, I really like you, you are exactly my type.” And then snog his face off and live happily ever after.