To ask OH's Nan to stop kissing out baby on the lips

[RayaJambalaya]

I don't have an issue with the odd kiss on the lips here and there but she does it like 5 times in a row every time! We're staying at her house for a week and I'm gonna have to ask her to stop! Has anyone else been in this situation? Just hoping I don't make things awkward (even though I already feel awkward every time she does it!).

Sorry the title was obviously meant to say 'our' baby, not out..

Why do you feel awkward ?

Think it’s a bit sad.
Granted we all have different personal boundaries but if your child isn’t upset by it then why not (rictus) grin and bear it?

Heaven knows when he or she gets to a certain age one swipe of nana’s glasses or nails down the face may bring the lip kissing to an end...

No it is never ok to kiss a baby on the lips, herpes virus can kill a DC.
How old is the baby? If you don't want to offend her, tell her the baby has developed a mouth infection from an adult, GP said no kissing on lips or face anymore.

I don't know really.. Can't put my finger on it. Probably cause I don't want her to but don't feel comfortable asking her to stop either. She can be a bit snotty with me sometimes. Like I said, I'm not bothered with her kissing her on the lips... It's the way she does it like over and over again. Maybe it's just an underlying subconscious worry that she's passing germs on or something

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut because she may pass the baby the herpes virus or even the common cold.

Babies have immature immune systems so you don't want to pass them anything if you can help it.

She's 10 months old. It's made her cry a few times but she just carried on anyway. I pulled her away a little instinctively last night when she went to do it again and she said "oooh your Mummy's being selfish and wants you all to herself". I just laughed it off!

Just an underlying subconscious worry that she's passing germs on or something
You're not wrong there. I never allowed or encouraged my DC to kiss on the lips.

It would piss me off if it was upsetting the baby, Is she being passive aggressive.

Okay well I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking it's a bit much! It's like really excessive.. She kisses her more than I do I think, and that's saying something!

And I do think it's really sweet but it just doesn't sit right with me. I think when she does to do it again I'll just have to politely say "sorry but do you mind just kissing her on the cheek instead".

I think then though my worry is her asking me why? and me not wanting to say "because you're full of germs" hahaha 😂

@EmeraldShamrock yes she can be quite passive aggressive! Which is probably why I've not said anything yet.

I agree mainly on the basis of poss passing on the cold sore virus, that's if gran has had them herself, but that aside, it's unnecessary. I don't remember even kissing my own child on the lips. Sounds like the child's not keen either, so I think you will have to tackle it somehow.

As a PP said, if it makes it easier tell her it's something to do with the doctors advice. Is she your first child together or grans first grandchild? Could be she's over enthusiastic, but still not something you want, and you might find she will do something else in future you don't like.

Really sad thread TBH

What does your OH think about it? Does he think his family is germ ridden too ?

It isn't about being germ ridden, I never kissed my own children on the mouth, we know so we should do better.
If anyone asks DS for a kiss he bends his head so they kiss his forehead, it is still a loving kiss just not on the lips.

It's not that sad really is it. I'm not saying I don't want her to kiss her now and then. Like once when we leave or whatever. Its the way she over does is and sometimes makes my DD upset. She cried one time and I said "she doesn't like being kissed on the lips" (cause she really doesn't, not even by me or her Dad) and she just blanked me and carried on until DD pushed her away.

It's probably a lot to do with how pushy she is in other aspects too. When she was a newborn she would pick her up all the time when she didn't want to be held and calls her spoilt if she cries. But this is what I asked if I was being unreasonable!

The more you post, the more it sounds like your MIL is being pushy and upsetting your DC. Tell her clearly to stop it.

She cried one time and I said "she doesn't like being kissed on the lips" (cause she really doesn't, not even by me or her Dad) and she just blanked me and carried on until DD pushed her away

Ok NOW it makes sense. So I get it and YANBU.

I assumed you were being a bit of a germophobic snowflake but accept that MIL isn’t really giving a shit about her actions and that rightly pisses you off.

Before I had a baby I thought kissing babies on the lips so so weird. Now I have a baby, there really is no greater joy than kissing her. I don't know why. I don't have the coldsore virus though, and it doesn't upset her. Also no one else does it but me and her dad.

This is about boundaries plain and simple OP. It's so hard, but you are your baby's mother, and you need to be firm in speaking up when someone is doing something that upsets your baby. Set the boundary now with this woman or she will continue to try and overrule you as baby grows up too.