I'll try to be a clear as possible without gettin boring.
Please be kind, I don't talk about this because I feel like such an idiot, but I'm also attending therapy for PND.
I used to go and work abroad for the summer every year, same place so had alot of friends. Met a guy who also used to go there for summer to work too, he worked in his families business(wasn't really work, more like earn crap money but have fun), he was from that country though, just a different part. We were together for 5 years, spend the whole summer together, we'd rent an apartment together, do lots of things. We used to meet up in winter too in different cities for holidays, but we were both working to save money for summer during winter. Everyone knew us, we were always together, met some of his family, brothers, uncles, cousins, nieces/nephews etc. Just not his parents basically as they lived in the other city and were very old. His family that I met were very kind to me. He was also very nice, treated me very well, made sure I was always happy, and did everything he could to make me happy. He was my best friend. Anyway he hadn't made a move and told me his parents do not agree within being together as we are different religions, so therefore can't get married and he said "I can't ask you to wait, it's not fair"
I decided 2017 was going to be the last year I go working abroad so that meant the last year seeing him too as he wasn't willing to take things further due to his parents. Halfway through the season I fell pregnant while on the pill, i really dont know what happened but it did and I was so upset at first. Told my bf and he was really good, calmed me down, took me for dinner etc he called my mum to let her know I wasn't feeling great (obviously I had already text her at this point). He tldidbt mention the pregnancy for a couple of days, and I had come round to the idea after talking it through with my mum. I definitley felt that a termination was not the answer. I brought it up with him again and he told me he didn't want the baby, he wasn't ready but he said it was my decision. I was upset but wasn't willing to go through an abortion, I told him if he wanted nothing to do with the baby then Ok, we would not have any contact then. I had a few problems early pregnancy in which the doctor told me I couldn't fly home, my bf helped with appointments etc.
A week later I found out he was actually married with 3 kids. found out accidentally through facebook, i had logged into my facebook on his phone as mine had died, and it must have synced his contacts so i had all these randoms in the "people you may know" section. One of the prpfiles was a woman with the same name as a tattoo he had on his arm, he told me it was his sister who died. I looked at the profile and there were pictures od 3 boys... one looked exactly like him. I questioned him and he tried to deny it. I got my mum to dk some digging and she messahed a girl who confirmed he was married since he was 17 years old. I can't Even explain how I felt...every emotion probably. How could I not know this? How didn't I pick up on it? He gave me a bunch of excuses saying he didn't know what love was as the marriage was arranged when he was still a child, he didn't means to fall in love with me but it happened and he didn't want to lose me. Anyway I finally got a fit to fly letter and went home. I told him to leave me alone, especially as he wanted nothing to do with the baby I was carrying, but he insisted on texting me everyday still. I decided to just talk to him as I didn't want anymore stress and it was just easier.
My DD was born, I sent him a picture just so he knew, he didn't say much.
A few months later I went back to place I used to work to visit friends who lived there, 2 of them has also had babies around the same time. I let him know I was going and that if he wanted to meet his daughter he could, but if not then that's fine, all contact would stop if he didn't though as I had no reason to talk to him if he wasn't interested in DD I also stayed in the town next to where he was so that he didn't have to see us if he didn't want. He told me he wanted to meet her. He came, brogubt her gifts, spent time with her. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing hutni thought if there's a chance for him to be in DDs life then I'll take it. I took her over twice more during summer, we had some arguments as he wasn't making alot of effort and I told him he can walk away but he needs to do it now before she's old enough to know. He wanted to be in her life he said.
So this year I have booked to take her to see him, he knew I was going to. I told him the dates and he's turned around and said he is going to a different resort now, but he'll come see her for 1 day. I was so annoyed, I asked him why he didn't tell me? But he just got annoyed because I was angry which made me more angry and j threatened to tell his wife. (His uncles know as they have seen me but they are obviously keeping it a secret for him). Now I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks. Usually he texts everyday to ask about DD, but nothing. I text him to say he needs to decide what he's doing as I'm fed up, he asked me how can I expect him to text when I said all those things (I was quiet nasty when I was angry which I was probably out of order for) anyway since then I've text and he's not even answered.
So I'm taking it as he doesn't want to be in DDs life and fine, at least she's not at an age where she'll miss him and he can't let her down now. But my mum thinks I should tell his family.
I think part of the reason he is going to another resort is because word got out amongst some of the workers what he had done, and they have all taken my side kind of thing. They don't treat him like they used to and he's noticed, because nobody apart from his family knew he was married either . He doesn't feel comfortable and we reckon he wants to go elsewhere so he can live his "single summer life" again.
I think I should just leave him, not text but not block him but just do nothing and move on and concentrate on my DD.
My mum thinks I should message all the people from his wife's family, to let them know what kind of person he is, as she thinks I've let him get away with it.
I don't really know what to do. I'm in a pretty rough place and sometimes I get angry and think I should send the message, other days I don't even want to waste any more time on him. He has wasted alot of my time already. Do I send then message or not? I feel like I'm not really going to gain anything, but then again it may give me some closure? I don't know.