To really dislike going back to the area I grew up in?

[zeit]

Lived in the same valley for the first 18 years of my life, before moving away for university and then a career elsewhere. It's a very deprived area, heavily voted for Brexit, and just feels sad due to the loss of its key industry in the 80s. I hate going back there to visit family, not that I dislike my family, it's just so depressing.

I'm not sure if it's a thing, but the whole feeling of the people there feels sad. People I was at school with live a few streets over from where they lived growing up, have the exact same friends, and many in jobs they took at 16/18 etc. Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and we ought to do whatever makes us happy and fulfilled, it's not what I wanted for my life. So, I sort of feel sorry for them, coming from what I wanted if you get me. I'm of a mixed heritage, and the area is bigoted, but where I live now is very urban, affluent, liberal. They're complete opposites.

Does anyone else dislike where they grew up?

OP you sound like you're describing the south Wales valleys.

I've recently returned (from there) to where I grew up. I hate where I grew up. Even though it's gone through a massive renovation. But, I'm able to get into London quickly from here and actually have a life, and progress, and I'm near what little family I have left. Valleys was a leaning experience though, over ten years in Wales, most of that in the valleys. Riiiiiiight in the sticks.

I have lived in a few different countries and am now happily settled in my 'home' area. I love the feeling of home. Obviously not everybody has a great experience of their childhood home but it is great when people do. It is something you can't buy, feeling a part of a place and loving it and not needing 'more' to be happy. It isn't so awful to have friends for decades. It doesn't mean you can't also make new ones. It isn't terrible to be near to your family. You don't need to feel sorry for people who choose to live at 'home'. Many just don't need to search for happiness elsewhere. Why do you feel sorry for them?

To me the feeling of home I only get when I visit a town several thousand miles away

Oliversmumsarmy I've thought about that, but the numbers don't work, unfortunately. The rent where I want to be (even for a much smaller house) would be a lot more than the rent I'd get for this house, and I can't make up the difference. I really need to sell it before I can move. You're absolutely right, though, moving would make me feel a whole lot better, and I'm in the middle of getting this place show-home ready to have another go at putting it on the market. Fingers crossed...

I feel like this about my family's hometown.
It is sad because it was once my favourite place on earth, I always imagined I would move there as an adult and raise my family there. I managed to ignore the unpleasant racist undertones and crappiness and thugs... now whenever my mum rings and suggests I could move there with my kids I want to say "no chance, I would rather live almost anywhere else"... doesn't help that all my parental figures were pro brexit and are ranting about it online lately. Makes me feel so ashamed. I was going to disown my dad yesterday when he posted something pro Nigel farage, but my Mum said I should disown her too if I was going to make supporting Farage my last straw, because she thought the march was a good and honorable thing. It all just makes me never want to return to the UK. Even though Trump makes America probably worse... at least I don't have to be ashamed of my own people here and at least I can surround myself by people who thinks he is an abomination.

Me. I absolutely hate it. I go back for a couple of days every year or 2 to visit my parents etc, but everything about the place fills me with melancholy, followed by angst. It's affluent, not run down at all, but I associate the place with unhappiness and total dumbasses and I can't get over that somehow. I would never love there again. Left at 16 and been away for 30
Years.

My home city is nice - always a pleasure to visit. However, my parents don't live in the city, they live in a suburb so depressing and boring, it's like a living death. I hated it even as a child - I remember wishing I lived somewhere else as a seven year old.

It's not a deprived area, quite the opposite, but it's full on keeping up with the Joneses, spying on the neighbors, net curtain twitching suburbia. People are small minded, prying, gossipy and judgemental. I try and avoid going back, and get a sense of dread whenever I do.

abbey44

I would price it to sell.

I hated where our last house was. We had to move there for dps work.
Beautiful area of the country. One of those picture postcard places that everyone wants to live.

The absolute joy when we sold. I was throwing things into the removal van. Despite being in negative equity and going into holiday cottage rental and having no clear idea of where we would move. I was ecstatic.

I am more than happy of where we ended up. And things that we found difficult before became a lot easier just because of where we live now.

Will you get more money for it if you do the place up. Or just selling as is which might not get you into a similar property in your preferred area but will get you moved and then you can spend the time in an extra job to get you up the ladder again.

Just for your own happiness I would seriously consider just cutting and running.

Nothing is so draining as living in a place you hate

I wouldn’t go back to the place I was raised from the age of 11 if you paid me. It’s flat, miserable, and in the middle of nowhere. Hated it when I lived there, wouldn’t go back now even to visit.

My mother only ever lived in the county in which she was born, but it’s an alien mindset to me. Not saying it’s wrong, just very different to what I wanted out of life.

Oliversmumsarmy that's good advice, thanks, but when I last had it on the market (two years ago) it was priced very competitively with similar places that were around or had sold recently (it's a bit of a niche property) but no serious interest. I dropped the price by a lot (over 10%) to the level I bought at 10 years ago, and still nothing. It's "done", apart from some minor stuff like paintwork, and there are no nasty surprises lurking. If I were younger and still working, taking a hit would be an option, but as I'm in my 60s that's not really possible, unfortunately.

Me too, crispbutty. I'm sure it didn't always look as poor and dirty as it does now, but I'm always a bit shocked when I go back.