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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is this an odd thing to do?

17 replies

Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:22

Speaking to someone yesterday with children in my area. She said she was fed up with the mums and pressure etc with lifts, play dates etc, it was just all getting to her, her child was not happy at school etc, so she was going to move with one child and leave the other here with the husband...to a place which seemed a nice place to live (at other end of the country)

AIBU or does this seem a bonkers / strange thing to do? How would the other child feel? To leave one here and take the other to live somewhere else? The couple aren't separating.

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CarbsQuestion · 21/03/2019 10:23

That's terrible! Why don't they all move or look for another local school?

pumpkinpie01 · 21/03/2019 10:24

Surely to god she won’t actually do that! That’s ridiculous splitting up the familiar like that!

Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:28

Yes she is planning it, saw somewhere in a newspaper meant to be a good place to live, miles away. She has money, inherited and husband is to buy a flat here and live with the other child while she sells their house and buys another in the new place. I was a bit surprised. Seems a but extreme length to go to.

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Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:29

I think they can't all move as the husband's job is here.

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Stompythedinosaur · 21/03/2019 10:29

That sounds very strange.

Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:31

Yes, I mean I'm sure we might all think of doing this sometimes but not in reality. It is literally at the furthermost part of the country as well. A nightmare to get to. Very odd.

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PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/03/2019 10:36

My cousin did this, but the children were much, much older. He took early retirement as a fireman and moved to Cornwall with DC1 who was transferring into 6th form, Mrs Cousin stayed in London with DC2 because he was just starting his GCSEs and didn’t need the disruption. The met up at weekends until DC2 was ready to go to 6th form in Cornwall.

Back to the OP, if one child is unhappy, I don’t see why you would take both out of school, I wouldn’t, I would move the unhappy one and relocate if money allowed.

When you say 'miles away' what is the actual travelling distance or time?

Of course the cynic in me also say this leaves this couple now as two singletons , running independent households , both will now get single person benefits

CarbsQuestion · 21/03/2019 10:36

If she has the money to do that, she could put the child into private school here and keep the family together.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/03/2019 10:37

Why is she just taking one child? Confused and why does she think there won’t be the same pressures of play dates and mum friends in new town?

There has to be more to this that you don’t know.

Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:41

well it is in the far end of the very south - cornwall to the centre of Uk...

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Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:42

think the same problems existed in the private school also

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Home77 · 21/03/2019 10:43

no benefits, they are well off.

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PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/03/2019 10:45

'benefits' doesnt mean welfare payments

Stompythedinosaur · 21/03/2019 10:46

Yes, I mean I'm sure we might all think of doing this sometimes but not in reality.

I can safely say I've never thought of moving away and only taking one of my kids!

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/03/2019 10:55

That is no normal. Is there something else going on?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/03/2019 11:02

What is 'normal' ?

I work with predominantly West Indian and West African women many of whom leave their children back home, in the care of extended family whilst they are in the UK working. This often goes on for many years, the child might be sent for at school age. Often they cant afford to fly back and forth with any regularity either.

Home77 · 21/03/2019 11:54

It's not for work though., more just about escaping I think..

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