Communication with school

[Inatightsqueeze]

DD is in year 2 and from about November has being displaying challenging behaviours in class. I have been to multiple meetings with school to discuss this and I am now at a point where I am struggling to support them.
Her behaviour in class can vary from perfect to growling at staff, crawling under tables and generally disrupting the lesson. I have given permission for her to be removed if and when this happens.
This kind of behaviour is seen nowhere else. Not at gymnastics, Sunday school, brownies or swimming. We occasionally have a tantrum but nothing I would consider out of the ordinary for her age and usually happen if she is tired, hungry etc
Before November there has been no reported issues, though at home we had issues with anxiety and a refusal to be in any room on her own - when we sought help from school they said there was nothing they could help with, so me and my DH dealt with it as best we could.
The majority of contact with school is initiated by me to see what her day has been like so I can unpack it with her when I pick her up from the childminders, school only contact me when there is an issue, which for me is pretty demoralising.
At a meeting at the beginning of Jan it was agreed that the class teacher would email me each day - even if it was just one word of good so I knew. This hasn't happened.
There also seems to be no consequence at school for her behaviour so I have given punishments at home - I do think that this is unfair as the consequence should come from school. I will always tell her that what she's doing is wrong/rude/unacceptable.
I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

Is it time to look at other schools?

What's she like with the childminder?

She changes school at the end of this year (goes up to the junior school). She's never been a problem at the childminders. Not even a sulk. I checked.
School have referred to the Ed Psyc and want to persue a diagnosis of ASD. Which I can see possible traits but nothing that would result in extra support/EHCP

I can see why they're not punishing her. It doesn't sound like bad behaviour for its own sake of they're pursuing an asd diagnosis. Sounds like she needs more support especially if this is all anxiety related.

Surely even if they're pursuing a diagnosis, there should be a clear message that her behaviour is unacceptable and support put in place to redirect her behaviours and adopt a coping strategy

Have you looked at what the behaviour policy is? How should they manage it? If they aren't following the guidelines in there because she has different/additional needs then this should be documented - the senco should be able to explain this to you. (My daughter is 9 - we moved last year - and she's only just started going upstairs by herself...also an anxiety behaviour). Keep asking the school what is happening and keep pushing for daily updates.

They need to analyse the behaviour and try and minimise the triggers, once the behaviours happened it’s probably too late. Ask them to make note of what was happening before the behaviour, time of day, was the classroom noisy, is she struggling with an academic area and hiding because she can’t do the work. It sounds like she’s going into sensory overload hence the growling and hiding.

At a meeting at the beginning of Jan it was agreed that the class teacher would email me each day - even if it was just one word of good so I knew. This hasn't happened.

Who agreed to that? suggested it?
It isn't realistic to expect this.

The head suggested it. And the class teacher agreed to it.

The school run golden time and children lose it in minute increments, though lost minutes can be earned back. DD has only once lost any minutes by Friday which she wasn't happy about but accepted.

Blimey. Shocked teacher agreed to that!

So how are their reports, details etc, for ASD diagnosis, if it's them that's pushing all of this?

What about a home school book? Quicker for a teacher to write in than do an email at the end of the day with marking etc. You could remind DD to give it to the teacher