. . . to be completely mystified by what just happened?!

[RedPandaFluff]

Just had a physio appointment for a suspected sprained Achilles.

Expectation: I would go in, give a history, physio would examine me, move me around a bit, look at my posture/alignment etc., maybe an ultrasound of the area, given some exercises to do and told to come back in a week.

What actually happened:
Laid flat on my back, made to do knee raises and leg lifts while he tapped the soles of my feet, abruptly slapped my calf muscles, poked around my knee with a sharp wooden stick, told to touch the side of my neck with two fingers, and he even occasionally tapped me on the nose.

Yes. TAPPED ME ON THE NOSE.

I left, completely bewildered, with tape along my calf muscle.

I have no idea what just happened. I was so shocked that when he replied "functional neurology" to my question of "er . . . so, what was that?!" I just accepted it, said thank you, smiled and left.

AIBU to think that was an absolute waste of £50?!

I had an endocrinology issue but was sent to a neurologist to rule out certain other problems. She did similar tests which I remember laughing at so it may well have been genuine. It was testing reflexes etc.

Yes similar here. The nose tap is a new one, though.

Did he resemble any of these men?

When i was in A&E with stomach pain i was asked to press the second knuckles of both my index fingers together

I just tried to do that and struggled to because the sensation is horrible! And I knew it would be before I tried it. Does that mean I’m crazy? can people generally do that with ease?

Wtf?! Lol at nose tapping Sorry.

But the pressing fingers for stomach pain is legit - it's usually a distraction technique so the medic can feel your stomach without you (even unconsciously) tensing it. If you're pushing your hands together your tension will be there not your stomach.

Was he actually a kinesiologist? Type of woo where they test muscle responses etc.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_kinesiology

Maybe he's newly qualified and still learning the ropes!

'Functional neurology' sounds like a type of pseudoscience similar to kinesiology. I would be asking for my £50 back, personally, if you were actually expecting physiotherapy.

www.drekberg.com/functional-neurology.html

Don't go next week. He'll try and get you to swallow a bat.

The last time I read "functional" in a medical context it essentially meant "psychosomatic".

I'm into weird healing treatments as well as conventional and this sounds nothing like anything I have seen!!

Well now I'm starting to take umbrage. All in my head? Psychosomatic?! I'm pretty sure I didn't bring on my bruised and swollen by the power of thought!

I am now less amused 😒

That is hilarious. I particularly love that you thanked him at the end . I usually hate crowdfunding but I would be quite happy to contribute to the cost of your next appointment just to make sure we get a follow up!

No don't go back you have no idea what he will tap next.

On a more serious note I would be telephone/e-mail and ask him to explain exactly what he was doing, what the tests indicated and why he failed to explain to you during and at the end of the treatment what was going on.

I wouldn't be happy at all with spending £50 for what sounds like a complete waste of your time.

If it's any consolation, I had a treatment at a festival. I'm a reiki healer and know my way around bodywork too. I booked a sports massage on my shoulders. What I got was a load of being flicked, tapped, and dusted off. I asked for it to be adjusted to what I needed in the middle of it and was shushed! Paid and asked what he did, and he said he "liked to work intuitively and do healing not stick to what the customer asked for" dude that was neither intuitive nor healing I thanked him and ran away like a knob

I have seen him several times since, he always has the doors open and is much more interested on perving on bypassers than his paying client

Well now I'm starting to take umbrage. All in my head? Psychosomatic?! I'm pretty sure I didn't bring on my bruised and swollen by the power of thought!

I'm leaping to conclusions here, but I can't help picturing him as a colossal chauvinist pig who believes that whilst men sustain sports injuries, women worry about slight twinges.

I'd be recruiting friends and investigative reporters to trip him up.

Sorry op this made me laugh as I've had similar experiences. Miss smack the pony though 😂

I've had quite similar treatment recently for neck and shoulder pain and it's been extremely successful. My nose was never tapped admittedly, but lots of other parts of me were!

A registered physiotherapist eh? Registered with which professional body?

I've had recent physio for an achilles problem and my consultations (NHS physio) bore no resemblance whatever to yours.

Who's up for a whip round to fund op's next round of treatment? Dying to know what happens at the follow-up

Hahaha, I am now laughing my head off imagining some one being poked with sharp sticks and then tapped on the nose while laying there trying not to be rude and offensive by moving around haha.

I would just give the clinic a call and ask about the reasoning behind the process, it does sound like he was checking your sensation response perhaps.

Not sure about the nose tapping, but some of those were similar to tears I had for achillies too.

I don’t think that really happened- maybe you dreamt it

Does sound rather odd. I had 4 sessions with a physio and session 5 she watched me walk in, said "I am not treating you any more, here is a referral for MRI"
Before that she had done massage, ultrasound stuff, exercises etc etc
I went for the MRI and ended up with a neurosurgeon
She saved me, and I don't say that lightly - they operated within 48hrs to prevent paralysis and she was the only person that spotted something was very wrong

I'm a Physiotherapist. In my 10 years of work I have never tapped anyone on the nose!

I also have no clue what on earth he was doing. Was he having you on???!

I got recommended to go to a particular osteopath for my bad back. I expected the usual crunches etc. Instead he placed his hands under my bum and left them there for half an hour. I’m getting follow-on giggles just remembering it and this was years ago. It was in Primrose Hill - I think this may be a normal treatment protocol round those parts