To take my children on holiday for Xmas?

[Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes]

Not a stealth post, I work long hard hours and I’ve seen a bargain holiday to the sun for Xmas that I can afford. I struggle with Xmas at home as have no family other than my DH and DC and would dearly love to get away. I miss my mum so much at Xmas and find it really hard seeing friends having big family Xmases. So you would think it’s a no brainier but my DC (10 and 12) desperately want to stay at home for Christmas. They don’t believe in Santa but cynically I think they know they will get less to open on Christmas Day if we are away, although I appreciate they also just want to be in their own home. They really, really don’t want to go. DH wants to go.
I’m thinking about just booking it anyway and I’m sure they will have a nice time.
AIBU?

Just another perspective from someone who also feels low at Christmas due to having only my small immediate family to share it wigh. Have you spent Christmas away before? I tried it once, thinking it would be easier, and it really didn't help. Is it possible that now, when your DCs still enjoy Christmas at home, might be a good time to try to make peace with the whole idea? It's never going to be great - it still hurts seeing all the cars pulling up at the neighbours' houses - but it's worth trying to enjoy what's going on in your own world. Sorry if that sounds sactimonious, I'm just speaking as someone in a similar position.

I'd go - what do the kids think they'd be missing out on?

We went away last year for the first time and it was brilliant. Kids were not sure about it but when we got there loved having different experiences over Christmas. Just this week we've been discussing what to do this year.

I would book it, although definitely reassure the DC about presents. We did stockings away and exchanged small gifts (mostly useful to holiday or souvenirs bought there) while away. Then big presents from the tree when we came back.

Please do share the deal! (After you've booked it, of course!)

Hmm, I’m torn. I personally love Christmas in another country, I don’t agree with a pp that it doesn’t help. I think a different environment can make a world of difference. In fact I usually alternate christmases now between here and going away. But my DC are grown up. I’m not sure I could force kids to go if they were adamant they really didn’t want to.

What if you propose having a full on “Christmas Day”either before or after the holiday? My DS loves his Christmas dinner so last year I did one in January! Maybe they’d be ok with going if they got a Christmas Day and the holiday? Then you could all enjoy it.

I’m really surprised at everyone saying the op should listen to her children and stay home. If her children wanted to stay at home all summer and not go, should she pander to that too? And what about where to go on holiday? What if she wants to go to Italy but they want Tenerife? Should she let them decide? What about seeing family? If the OP wanted to travel to GPs but the kids were saying no, would that be ok and the OP be expected to let them have their way? Because I can’t imagine MN saying it’s unfsur to ever visit family if your kids would rather stay home.

When my parents died, I was gobsmacked to discover that my mother in law now thought we’d spend every Christmas with her rather than every third.

Go! See it as broadening their horizons- they don’t know if they’ll like it until they try it!

I didn’t want to go away for Christmas the first time my parents suggested it (I think I was around 13) but I loved it, and we ended up going away every year until I left Home

It sounds like the DCs enjoy Christmas at home so much that they don't want to miss it - surely that's a good thing.

Yanbu and I think the kid's will actually enjoy it

It sounds as if the OP really needs this holiday, she works long and hard, and let's face it, Christmas at home with the family doesn't always fit the ideal; it is not easy or stress free for loads of women, it's bloody hard work!

Kids get fed up and fractious, parents are tired and it can be more trouble than it's worth. It's exhausting and dispiriting to keep knocking yourself out year after year to do the perfect, picture-book Christmas.
I'd strongly encourage the OP to go for this opportunity, it sounds great. You can have a Christmas dinner and present opening a day or so before you go (if you like) so the kids won't feel deprived and go off happy and relaxed. I would put money down that they will enjoy it immensely.

I really think you should do it OP.

You’ve said yourself, you really want to.

I really disagree that Christmas is for kids. I think Christmas is for everyone. And I think that the kids don’t pay the bills the other days of the year, so the adults get to decide
what happens.

What date would you fly out OP? You could have a fake Xmas a few days before with presents and trimmings and maybe invite some friends over? Then fly off for Christmas! I'd love to do that actually!

When my 3DC were younger we booked to go to the Caribbean over Christmas. Younger two 11&12 were fine but eldest 17 kicked up a fuss.
We all had a lovely time and they talk about it even now 30 years on.
Go! Just book it and go. You don't have any other family so go and have a good time. Don't let your DC dictate your life.

I think you should go . I've was a single parent family for years and always found Xmas hard . One year I went to Euro Disney the best thing we ever did . Xmas day was less significant as we were busy hvubg fun . We had tint presents then went off to do nice things. Do it ...

Go. For sure. I used to think Christmas had to be at home etc etc. Since then my DH and I have celebrated Christmas day in airports, hotels, on beaches, in flight etc. We wrap and exchange silly little cheapy presents to open in flight which can be a fun thing to do - socks, colouring pencils, pack of cards, etc for the flight? Most places will have a tree etc at Christmas in hotels etc and do special lunches and the like.

We are due our first DC soon and I am totally down with doing Christmas around the world if we have the money to. We are part of a big international community and so plenty of friends of ours do it with their kids. The first time they've all had to do a hard sell with the kids - but they're the adults so it was non-negotiable. Sometimes kids miss the feeling of being Christmassy. I can understand little kids and Father Christmas but as they get older I'd rather give them experiences than stuff.

Go - you want to go and if you are happy, they will be happy. They also need to learn that presents and stuff are over-rated.

I went when I was single and also twice with kids. Loved it! Came back refreshed, not exhausted, spent less than I would have done at home, felt fitter and slimmer. Didn't have to deal with the mound of January rubbish, (leftover food, plastic tat, wrapping paper, cards, toys no-one really wanted)

Kids felt a bit sad before we went, worried about missing out, but once there were so excited and had two weeks in the sun and the sea. So much better for them than sitting about watching telly and driving up and down the country to various relatives. We'd go again if we could afford it.

Update ! I’ve booked a Caribbean cruise, can’t wait and the kids are actually really excited now they’ve seen the ship- ice rink, water slides, zip wire the lot! We will spend Xmas day on the cruise company’s private island in the Caribbean. Thanks for all the messages, they helped me decide!

We always go away over Christmas, we love kf

Brilliant op! Hope you all have fab time!

We are away at Xmas and whilst I’m looking forward to it, it’s kind of bittersweet as highlights that we don’t have the big cozy family set-up.