'D'P, location on google.

[SudoWouldnt]

I'll try to keep this short.

DP often stays out walking after work, usually for a couple of hours. I used to join him but in recent months I haven't bothered much. It was never a problem, hobby related and I didn't think much of it - mutual friends around, that kind of thing.

Recently however he has been staying out much later, not in touch with me as much when he's out and not nearly as active in our hobby related group chat.

It has been bothering me and I've tried to talk to him about it just saying I'm a bit lonely and wish he was home more in the week but it hasn't made a difference.

He was acting weird tonight, came home much later than usual, despite his mum being round at ours, and barely spoke to me before falling asleep. I know I shouldn't have but I looked through his phone.

I can see that he has been snapchatting a woman who he has a past with - I don't know much about her other than it wasn't a relationship and that they didnt sleep together. I cant see any conversation but I know snapchat makes things disappear sometimes. I can see that theyve been sending/receiving snaps though. Once last year I saw a conversation between them where she was supposed to be attending an event near us and he spoke about getting away from me to meet up with her. He wasnt secretive about it but it wasn't nice to read and he did alot of backtracking about the way he worded things.

I looked at his location history on google and it shows that on one day last week, aside from being at the usual places (home, work, gym) he was at a cinema in her hometown then a takeaway place near there. It also pinned him for a few minutes at a town the train would stop at if he was travelling there.

The timeline is a little muddled and sometimes shows him at work then 10 minutes later appears to be at home but i think this is down to both our phones being linked on the same account so its picking me up at home when he is also at work if that makes sense. Her hometown is the only location in the timeline that neither of us (to my knowledge) have actually been to.

I don't really know what I'm asking. For context, we live together and our relationship has been a bit strained recently but I thought we were happy.

How would you tackle this? Is it possible this is a blip or is it always accurate? I have nobody in r/l i can mention this too, I wish I'd never looked.

My teenager uses pictures on snapchat for whole conversations.. they just put the text across the picture, and then it's deleted automatically.

Yes Stifled, thats what I think is happening.

Even using the chat feature on it messages can disappear. I have a friend who uses it to message me occasionally and it bugs me because sometimes I read her message then can't reply later because it disappears and I forget what it said.

I realise I need to speak to him, but I've been up half the night and needed somewhere to air my thoughts, is that ok with you Scarlet?

And yes, I found out that the location thing didn't really mean anything but that doesn't take away from the fact that I don't trust him to the extent I've been through his phone which I feel fucking rotten about tbh.

I can't go with him today but I've suggested it in the past and he's more or less just shut me down whereas he used to moan that I'd stopped joining him.

OP, I think you have two problems here. One is the lack of trust and the possible infidelity, but the other is that you sound trapped with no financial security, independence or your own home.
Are you married? Whose name is the house in? Are you renting or buying?
I think you need to take steps to secure your own and your DC’s future and finances, so that you are in a better position to cope if your relationship does come to an end.

It's his house. Im on a really low income just now so it would be difficult to move out. I dont have any money spare to squirrel away.

Our finances are separate and we are not married. He doesn't earn alot either so it's not that he's rolling in it and leaving me with nothing. If I wanted to I could leave tomorrow as there are no real ties, but financially it would be difficult.

You've drifted apart.

You now need to decide if what you had is worth getting back.

If it is, then you need to be honest about you missing the closeness with him.

He might have been having an emotional affair, or it might be friendship. You need to decide if that matters to you and if it would have happened if you hadn't have drifted apart.

Do you still have fun together, go on 'dates' etc?

Perhaps this is the wake up call needed for you both.

Whatever about this woman, you need to sort out your finances.

Your daughter having a roof over her head is dependent on your relationship with a man you don’t trust. That’s not right.

Well, you're going to have to start putting some money away, somehow. You've got no choice. Because he could drop you tomorrow, and you're up shit creek.

His actions do sound suspicious, and if he is having an affair, he might be planning on ending things soon, so he can move the other woman in. Even if he isn't, you don't trust him, so the relationship is going to end anyway, so you need to get a move on. Don't waste this time.

I really really don't have any money to put away. I don't think I want to leave him anyway, that's jumping the gun a bit when I haven't even spoken to him about all this.

You still need an emergency fund, because you are in a very vulnerable position. I'm not saying you need to leave, but he can leave you, and if he is having an affair, the chances are, that he will leave you.

Even if you only manage £5 a week, or save up any £2 coins you get in change, or sell outgrown things of DD's, etc. But you need to have some savings, because the chances of this relationship lasting, aren't good.

You need to sort your financial situation.

What would you do if he just decides he doesnt want to be with you anymore?

Cheating. Good luck.

My phone tells me I’m in Scotland when I’m in England, in Bristol and I’ve never been to Scotland.

Like I said, I've got to the bottom of why he was pinged at another location and it definitely wasnt him.

I know that doesn't solve the other issues but at least I know he hasn't cheated.

Financially there isn't much I can do, we dont have anything to sell and money is very very tight. Even if I managed to cut back any more it wouldn't touch the sides on what I'd need to set myself up.

I think if I was to leave I'd need to move in with family (too far away) or seek help from a charity. I don't think he would ask me to leave at the drop of a hat.

YANBU. I'd be massively annoyed he went on a walk of his mum was round anyway why are you left entertaining her? It all sounds suspect.

His mum and I often spend time together without him, I get on really well with her and she is lovely so that wasn't a problem in itself.

My main issue was that he was home way later than he usually is, his mum came round, we ate together and he still wasn't home when she left.