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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? DH using me as PA / messenger

34 replies

MyKitchenIsATip · 19/03/2019 20:18

DH has a mobile, but it is rarely charged or on him. Unless he's at work (sitting next to his work phone), he's a nightmare to get hold of. As a result, his friends contact me and use me as the go-between, asking me to pass messages on. His friends often tell him what a nightmare he is to get hold of, it's become a bit of a joke. Today, his work colleague FB messaged me to arrange something between him and DH. I told DH I was sick of being used as a PA. In terms of frequency, I probably have to pass messages anywhere from twice a week to once every 1-2 months.

He doesn't see why I'm unhappy about it. He sees it as a small favour that I do for him, and that I should be willing to do for him. It's a small thing, he says. I feel like he's taking the piss.

AIBU?

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 20/03/2019 16:30

I like @OffToBedhampton's message.

Sewrainbow · 20/03/2019 21:52

Block them or just send "wrong number" or "forget" to pass it on ignore

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 21/03/2019 07:28

My DH used to be a bit like this - we don't have many, but the occasional WhatsApp group for nights out. He would immediately remove himself as he couldn't be bothered with the pinging and 'having to' check messages. Until I pointed out that this made me responsible for all of the social shiz that also concerned him.

He just mutes it now.

BiddyPop · 21/03/2019 17:51

You can mute WhatsApp? !

Tell me more!

(Dh is on a few, but won’t do the school or scouts ones, and sometimes they ping a lot!)

OffToBedhampton · 22/03/2019 09:52

To mute WhatsApp groups

Click on the icon of the group , click on i in a circle (information), then select mute notifications.
Most of mine are muted.

BiddyPop · 22/03/2019 11:47

Flowers Thanks so much Bedhampton - you learn something new everyday!!

Grace212 · 22/03/2019 11:54

tell him and them that you are not his PA and no, you can't pass on a message

it's completely ridiculous to ask this of you.

livefornaps · 22/03/2019 11:56

What a dickhead.

Buy a filofax and lob it at his head.

PlainVanilla · 22/03/2019 11:58

Get hold of his mobile, charge it up and set it to forward calls to his work number?

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