To just fucking give up - TTC

[ItsAMooPoint]

Currently on pregnancy no.7 with none yet successful.

I was feeling happier and stronger for a while but now I'm just so frightened about another loss that I just want to scream that I am done now, I give up after this.

I have absolutely no hope left in me that this will work out. I am not even happy to be pregnant, it has never meant anything for me but pain and I just don't know if I can keep doing this.

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious but have you been for investigations into why the miscarriages may keep happening? It sounds tough, fingers crossed this baby stays put x

Yes, I have a chromosome problem which is causing the miscarriages.

They have told me it is possible but I just can't believe it. Not after this many.

OP I'm desperately sorry for your losses, I can't even imagine being in your shoes.

Hoping against hope for you x

I'm so sorry, I wish I could give you a big hug. My husband and I have been unsuccessful in ttc #1 for 3 years now. It's such an emotional roller-coaster and I've definitely had times where I just wanted to give up. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to send me a DM xx

That is horrendous. In a way it's just as bad as being told you can never conceive ever. Surely there is some support or counselling available to you.
I can't help but feel you need far more support than to be told it's still possible. If you stop trying to conceive, you'll avoid any further miscarriage heartbreak but you'll face another perhaps as in 'what if'.

If I could help you I would.
Maybe by starting a thread on here you may find other ladies in the same position who can share with you and support you and maybe some who have finally been successful.
I've only ever had one miscarriage, I almost died from a cardiac arrest because if it. It was awful. I can't imagine having another one let alone 7.
I'm sending you the best wishes ever.

So sorry for your losses.

Really hoping for you and sending my best wishes x

YANBU OP. I'm 5+5 after 3 miscarriages in a row and if this doesn't work out I'm very tempted to ask to get my tubes tied. I hope this is it for us both.

I really hope this one is the exception for you. If they've said it's possible then it might be - you might be okay? It is terrifying though and I'm sorry you're going through it.

I had many unexplained losses and couldn't cope with it anymore, I was suicidally depressed.

We did give up and a few years on it's slowly getting easier, although I still question our purpose in life and randomly get upset at pregnancy announcement and baby photos.

I'm also not the same person I was. I feel like I aged and became nastier and more cynical deep down, and I don't really know how to change back.

It's shit.

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying info]

Can I ask how far along you are OP? Can they offer you any testing yet?

Not sure where you are with fertility things. Is this ivf? Have you had all the embryos tested to see if they have that chromosome fault? If you havent gone down that track then that’s what I’d do. A friend of mine had a similar problem and the only way they were successful was to get genetic testing done and only put back the embryos with no faulty DNA. They did have a bay this way. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.

This could be the one. My mother had 6 unsuccessful pregnancies, I was born from the 7th (and last) one. My aunt had similar issues and she finally had my cousin on number 8.

IVF with genetic testing could be something to look into. They only place back the embryos that are healthy, making it a much higher chance of success.

9 losses before my first child. I'm now a mother of 3, please don't despair. I needed a lot of progesterone to keep me pregnant in the early days (pre 12 weeks I mean), but it didn't keep the ones that weren't meant to be from ending. There is still hope, and you are in my thoughts tonight xx

Thanks. I just feel like I need to rant sometimes as I don't like saying this in RL.

Re the IVF with genetic testing suggestion, this has been discussed previously. Honestly it's not something we could really afford at present but it's something we are saving for it we aren't successful in the meantime.

It's really helpful to hear from you that have been through this as well, just to know I'm not alone! I'm sorry you've experienced this as well but thank you for sharing it with me.

My DS was my 5th pregnancy. I understand how you feel, it's so hard mentally and physically. I never thought it would happen either but I now have my DS and DD. It can happen. Keeping everything crossed for you

Fingers crossed from me too

Having been through infertility treatment, I feel there comes a time when you have to stop to protect your mental health. That time is different for different people. Take care of yourself.

There's a book called Fertile Thinking which has some great tips on getting through the mental hell of infertility, and addresses the issue of knowing when to stop. I found it really helpful and hope it might help you too.

Would you be entitled to ivf on the nhs?