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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not give my children desert for not eating thier veg?

48 replies

Adam3322 · 19/03/2019 14:35

Have always had an issue getting my 3 to eat veg. ( 7, 5 and 3 yo) lately i have taken the attitude of no veg no cakes etc. Is this too harsh? Any tips on getting those veg in them would be more than welcome

OP posts:

bingoitsadingo · 19/03/2019 15:29

TBH I'd consider why they don't like the veg, and try and set it up so veg isn't something nasty to get through, but something to enjoy in it's own right. I HATED veg as a child. Only as an adult did I realise I only disliked boiled, tasteless veg that was often soggy. Fried veg, roasted veg, steamed veg, with some seasoning and spices, etc - love the stuff. But I still go home and my family think I'm "fussy" because I don't like overboiled veg.
And tastier main food means I'm much less interested in dessert anyway, because the main meal has been satisfying and enjoyable.

TheShuttle · 19/03/2019 15:29

OP, I wish I had realised just how very little some small children need to eat.
A few things that worked for my kids along with eg. raw carrots, cucumber, peppers etc..

Frozen peas (the tiny sweet ones )
Kidney beans & similar white beans
Lentils added to other veg in spaghetti bog sauce
Grated carrot in pancake mixture
Battered and fried courgette slices
Chopped small cauliflower added to macaroni cheese

Only fruit or yoghurt for dessert.

If my kids ate a snack they would not eat something they didn't fancy at the next meal time. Same if they had a small fruit juice or similar.

Possibly think about if you are expecting them to eat too much and see how they get on with limited snacks. 1 of mine responded well to no snacks and small portions -ate what is front of them because she was hungry. My other could live on air forever, she just didn't seem to have any appetite under she got to her teens!

So I would only give junk food rarely and only after they had eaten properly.

NannyRed · 19/03/2019 15:36

As long as they try at least a bite of their veg, if they don’t like it don’t make them eat it. Find some veggies they do like, sweetcorn, red peppers, mange tout, raw cauliflower rather than boiled to death grey veggies.

I’m banning you from all things you like for the rest of the week because of your pathetic spelling of ‘their’ come on now, it’s five letters, can it really be that difficult? (My point being, we all struggle with different things) try parenting, grate veggies into spag-bol, disguise veggies into casseroles, try salads instead of grey mushy veggies, but don’t use food as punishment or reward, that’s just poor parenting.

Quartz2208 · 19/03/2019 15:39

As a starting point yes stop boiling. Raw when it can, steamed for broccoli ( til just cooked through and still a vibrant green) baby corn and then roast for others

If you are serving large portions of boiled veg then no wonder they are saying no. I love broccoli but only realised when I cooked it
Same with parsnip lovely lasted awful boiled. Carrot raw or steamed or roasted yes pleaseboiled no way

Booboostwo · 19/03/2019 15:53

Mealtimes should not be a battle.

Foods should not be a reward or a punishment.

Foods should not be conditional on eating other foods, nor should they be labeled good or bad.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 19/03/2019 16:01

Mealtimes should not be a battle.

Foods should not be a reward or a punishment.

Foods should not be conditional on eating other foods, nor should they be labeled good or bad.

All of this! We had all these types of rules, and as adults, 2 of 4 have had eating issues. Like pps have said, you can make veg a larger component of meals (and make sure the veg is tasty), serve pudding less often and possibly fewer snacks. If they're hungry, they'll eat.

Sexnotgender · 19/03/2019 16:05

Roasted broccoli is delicious, I roast in sesame oil and sesame seeds.
I ADORE roasted cauliflower, I like it really dark.
Sugar snap peas cooked in microwave for 2 minutes with a little water are fantastic.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 19/03/2019 16:10

Yes roasted cauliflower is lovely! Only just discovered it recently.. Especially nice with some ground cumin sprinkled on.

Quartz2208 · 19/03/2019 16:14

Yes agree veg can be really tasty if done well which is what should be focused on
And allow them to like some but not others (I have swede and turnips) and some cooking methods
Done well it can be just as nice as dessert

NorthernRunner · 19/03/2019 16:15

coldtatty me too, it’s amazing isn’t it?? Takes spice really well, I saw Jamie Oliver rub curry paste on it and bake it like that. (Realise that’s not the most child friendly recipe but it was lovely)

CheshireChat · 19/03/2019 16:21

I think it's funny how many people are saying you should stop boiling the veg- that's the only way DS will eat cooked veg. Well, really, really well steamed. Blergh!

Are they too big? DS likes them in smallish bites. Corn on the cob instead of... Loose I guess.

TriciaH87 · 19/03/2019 16:28

My son eats 9 foods no fruits or veg i tried this tactic my health visitor advised against it. Try blending veg into a pasta sauce.

SuziQ10 · 19/03/2019 17:21

That's what I do. Eat a reasonable amount of veg or no pud.
I always include two (or more) types of veg incase DC really don't like 1, they can eat all of the other veg.
It works here. At the moment at least!

Same with school. If cucumber sticks / fruit have not been eaten and come back in the lunchbox there will be no yoghurt (or whatever sweet thing) in the lunchbox tomorrow.

VampirateQueen · 19/03/2019 17:24

With my DD, I would always seperate of a small amount of veg and say of you can eat the small amount, you can have desert, if she didn't, she didn't get desert. Now she is a bit older she eats her veg herself most of the time, sometimes she asks me to seperate what I want her to eat, but eats that without a fuss. I am doing the same with my DS. Although desert in our house isn't always cake or ice Lolly, it is generally fruit.

justmyview · 19/03/2019 17:29

Foods should not be conditional on eating other foods, nor should they be labeled good or bad

OP if children are only allowed to have pudding if they eat the main course / veg, then it gives a message that the main course / veg are a horrible thing to be endured, in order to get the lovely pudding reward. This isn't helpful. It's better to make the veg attractive, or do away with pudding so the children are hungry and more likely to eat veg

ChicCroissant · 19/03/2019 17:30

No, I wouldn't use food like that. Not unless you want your next post to be about the battleground mealtimes have become. Why would you use food (no dessert) as a punishment (you didn't eat your veg) or make it a good/bad item?

SpiritedLondon · 19/03/2019 17:37

I think giving children some control over how much goes in their plate - I serve food at mealtimes from serving dishes on the table so my DD6 has a degree of control over how much she has to have. I think it must be pretty frustrating to be presented with a huge pile of something you’re not keen on and told you have to clear your plate. Both my DH and I try to cook veg in an imaginative way rather than just boiled. Roasted Mediterranean veg & cherry tomatoes with garlic and rosemary is nice and good cold too. Stir fried Savoy cabbage or shredded Brussels sprouts with leeks and peas with boullion and a splash of cream or creme fraiche, roasted carrots with orange zest or a little honey. I’m sure there are dozens more. Other than that then hiding grating carrots in mince, wilting spinach in mashed potato toppings for shepherds pie or blitzing a ton of veg in sauces can really work. Jamie Oliver’s Superfood family books strike a pretty good balance IMO.

vgiraffe · 19/03/2019 18:00

Its likely that you'll reinforce the idea that veggies=bad and pudding=good if they have to 'endure' the veggies to get pudding. Sorry I can't be much help with advice a single my eldest is only 2 and quite good with food atm. Children are more sensitive to bitter tastes than us so sweeter veg might go down better (sweetcorn, carrots, butternut etc)? What about trying them with a dip?

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/03/2019 18:08

Mealtimes should not be a battle.^ Foods should not be a reward or a punishment. Foods should not be conditional on eating other foods, nor should they be labeled good or bad.^

I agree with all of these points, and it is what we do with ours.

I would reconsider your approach to desserts. There is no need to offer a cake or an ice lolly after every meal. Any dessert should be there for a nutritional reason as much as the other food is. So things involving fruit or yoghurt, nuts and so on. No need to do a dessert after every meal. Once or twice a week, or so is fine.

violetbunny · 19/03/2019 18:09

Boiled veg is vile. Try roasting it with some seasoning. Pan fried asparagus is lovely. I sometimes make sweet potato and carrot oven fries. Stir fried veg is also nice.

BarbarianMum · 19/03/2019 18:13

I dint think that saying no pudding unless you eat your main course gives the message that the main course is bad, or must be endured, at all. I think the message is that you eat til you are full and then stop. And that you need to eat a healthy, balanced diet.

Lweji · 19/03/2019 18:14

Make cake with veg (carrot, spinach, etc).

Do they refuse any veg cooked or raw?

How about some soup?

Just give different versions a try and see if they like any. Even if you don't like the same.

Original poster

Adam3322 · 21/03/2019 14:01

Made a stew in the slow cooker last night and tbh they all ate fairly well!! Thanks for all your advice

OP posts:

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