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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we can afford a nanny?

55 replies

Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 14:13

We have 3DCs. Still on mat leave with the youngest, other DC's are primary school age.

If I go back to work full time our joint household income will be about 60k after tax. In an ideal world, we'd like one more DC fairly soon. I've been trying to figure out childcare. DH is out of the house 7 - 5 and I'm out 8.30 - 6.30 (often later).

I figure a nanny sounds like a good way to juggle school runs, after school activities and infant childcare. I assume one will come to around 20k a year? When I do the maths we're still in the green, the other biggest cost for us is about 14k annually on the mortgage. (We're in the Midlands, not London).

Yet I feel like we don't earn enough to be able to afford a nanny! Are there hidden costs? I think it'll work out more cost effective than 2 DC's at nursery and then paying extra for wrap around care for the older two. And we'll get an easier life.

Is anyone already doing this? Should household income be higher than this before committing to a full-time nanny?

OP posts:
Original poster
Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 15:14

InnerCircle Haha atleast we're worrying about the finances before having a 4th DC and not after!

We live quite frugally atm and if I opted to be a SAHM 4DCs would be very doable. For now at least, we'll worry about university later.

OP posts:
Kintan · 19/03/2019 15:15

As a pp said - for £20k a nanny could get a position looking after one (or two) children! You will have to offer a very attractive package to get someone to look after 4. InnerCircle asks the question that was on my mind too!

viques · 19/03/2019 15:17

Where do you live? If you live in London then a qualified nanny could expect a lot more both financially and in perks than the £20000 you are offering. £20000 less tax will for a start hardly enable her to live in a decent flat in a decent area and run a reliable car, especially if you live within the congestion zone. Many london nannies would be expecting employers to provide good accommodation and a car for exclusive use. Others might also get additional perks like a decent gym membership. I can't see anyone taking you up on your offer of full time nannying for possibly four children , including all day care for two infants , for what you are offering.

Kintan · 19/03/2019 15:17

Howdyhihi ahh cross post with your updates. Well good luck whatever you decide to do :)

Original poster
Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 15:17

I had considered an AP but worried it would be too much. At least they would definitely have to do a lot of driving kids from A to B.

I had a good look at the AP posts on here before thinking of a nanny, but am worried that this could end up being an extra headache if things don't work out/expectations aren't met. They'd definitely have to be a competent driver.

OP posts:
WinterHeatWave · 19/03/2019 15:18

Au Pair, combined with full time childcare for the baby/toddler/preschooler, yes?? Not an au pair to cover all childcare.

Original poster
Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 15:23

I'll look into AP + nursery. Will probably work out cheaper than a nanny providing all day care. Thanks

OP posts:
essex42 · 19/03/2019 15:24

We had a nanny when our sons were small; from when the oldest one was a newborn to when the youngest one went to school full time. Although it cost me most of my salary it was worth it as I wanted to keep on with my much loved job. also, it worked out not much more than 2 x full time nursery places plus top and tail at both ends of day. It was by far the best solution for us and we earned much less than you.

TatianaLarina · 19/03/2019 15:28

APs are a bloody nightmare. Some are brilliant and you never want them to leave and some are dire and you know it won’t work from the get go. Major hassle because you have to send them home to mama and find a new one ASAP.

I wouldn’t personally depend on an au pair for serious childcare - that’s not really what they’re there for.

Why not ditch the idea of having a 4th - that would save you some money.

pootyisabadcat · 19/03/2019 15:42

At least they would definitely have to do a lot of driving kids from A to B.

You need far more extensive child care than an au pair can legally provide and I seriously doubt you're going to find an au pair who's going to be able to drive 4 kids around.

dietcokemegafan · 19/03/2019 15:44

You'll need to pay more than average for four kids. Why would a nanny look after four kids for the same wage as she could get a job looking after two?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 19/03/2019 15:56

I'm sure I've read on another thread that au-pairs weren't supposed to be left alone with the DC or is that incorrect? So if you had an aupair and went back to work wouldn't you need to pay for another form of childcare as well?

Original poster
Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 15:57

I had already decided than an AP would be a bad idea until it was mentioned on this thread.

There seems to be too much risk involved.

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 19/03/2019 16:05

20k? lol

Your total costs as an employer will be well over £30k and more like £35k. Tax, NI, pension contributions. Ancillary costs around the house and out.

To be honest I'm trying to find a way to maintain my career. I'm not in an especially well-paid industry but had to train for a long time to get here. Now I'm very conscious that I don't want to give it all up.

Not fully compatible with having lots of children unless both you and DH are committed to working flexibly/.

Nanny would be the least stressful option but not sure you can afford it.

Nursery for the little ones, ASC + au-pair for the older ones, plus flexible working for both you and DH would be the most cost effective probably but lots of stress.

BlingLoving · 19/03/2019 16:12

Don't forget that to pay out £30k in childcare, you and your DH need to earn a lot more as you're taxed on most of that. Childcare vouchers etc only go so far.

Having said all that, I think a nanny is your best bet in terms of logistics and flexibility. If you can find a way to make it work.

Himawarigirl · 19/03/2019 16:14

There are lots of calculators online that help you figure out what the full costs of having a nanny will be, as there are a lot more costs beyond just multiplying a nanny’s net hourly rate by the number of hours you want. If helpful, we pay 12K per year overall for two days per week in London for shorter days than you need (8:30-5:30). But to us it feels worth every penny because we come and go from the house and they take care of everything else in the hours in between, just like I do on my days with the kids.

Klopptimist · 19/03/2019 16:14

You need to consider what would happen if you did employ a nanny and she kept taking maternity leave. How would you afford to cope with this?

dietcokemegafan · 19/03/2019 16:18

Fwiw on a 90k salary I was taking home minimum wage after nanmy costs and that was at £10/hour net and before you had to pay a nannny pension. I doubt you'll have any of your salary left if you pay well enough for four kids.

7salmonswimming · 19/03/2019 16:23

You sound quite haphazard, tbh. You’ve put time and money into training for something low-paid, are planning on a 4th child, don’t have childcare organised, won’t even begin to think about university costs...

I think you should sit down with a calculator and work out to the nearest £10 how life is going to be if you’re employed-unemployed, full-time/part-time, you’re sick/DP sick, either of you is laid off for any period of time, any of your children needs extra care, foreseeable costs coming at the same time (for you (healthcare for ageing adults) and your children (higher education / driving lessons / house deposits), your housing situation changing. Basically, all the usual things responsible, logical-thinking adults consider before they decide how many children they can afford Confused

Original poster
Howdyhihi · 19/03/2019 16:37

I'm an Architect.

You don't think of it as a low paid industry until you're already part of it. Then you realise you basically have to set up on your own (or move to London) if you want more than 35k.

I don't have childcare organised because we haven't even started TTC the 4th! The 3rd is here, and we can afford nursery for her.

Me and DH have good professional jobs, we don't have astronomical wages but still higher than the average.

In 15+ years we have the potential to be mortgage free and will be in more senior positions at work. DC's are spaced so that we shouldn't have more than two at university at once. Just because we don't want 1.9 children doesn't mean we're being irresponsible.

Thankyou for the helpful comments! I really just wanted to know how other parents managed. Its really useful to have gained more insight into how much a nanny actually costs and the additional requirements you have as an employer.

OP posts:
nannynick · 19/03/2019 19:04

Based on 2019/20 tax year, 50 hours per week, £11 gross per hour.
Gross salary: £28600
Employers NI: £2785
Employer pension: £677 (3% of Qualifying Earnings)
Payroll admin: £250 (it does vary)
Activity budget: Tricky to know, lets say £5 per day, school holidays may need to be higher. £5x5=£25x47(keeping it simple)=£1175
Mileage for activities: Tricky to know, have to keep in mind school runs, pre-school runs, activities etc. Lets say £2000 (it's less than 20 miles per day).
So £35,487 If you budgeted £36k you would not be far out. This of course assumes you can find someone to accept £11 gross, which may be tricky depending on area.

pootyisabadcat · 19/03/2019 19:14

I think it's an unaffordable childcare option for you because with 4 kids and lots of driving whoever it is will want more than the basic and it will be harder to get someone to share or who has a child with her/him and might be willing to go for a lower rate.

marbletile · 19/03/2019 19:30

My nanny was £27k a year from memory for one dc not in London. We paid all of her tax then admin costs for a tax company to sort this, plus lawyer for employment contract, pension, sick pay, extras like Christmas presents/bonus then redundancy pay when we let her go. You effectively take on a member of staff and if you think about it that member of staff is there to look after your most precious beings so you want to treat them well. When they ask for a pay rise you have to justify why not if it’s a no and when they want holiday outside your holiday plans you have to discuss etc.
If they break anything in the house you have to pay for it and sure there’s insurance but we went through several expensive but not worth claiming for items. Then there’s the disciplinary areas which do happen on occasion and you’re the boss who’s telling them off then realising they’re back to care for the dc in the morning. Ahhh don’t underestimate it I found it soooo hard but I employed one nanny for 5 years and it did make life easier.

marbletile · 19/03/2019 19:32

Oh also paid for first aid courses and ofsted registration etc