To restrict my teen's screentime?

[Saythatonemoretime]

I have a 14 year old DS and I have to admit I have never regulated his screen time because it’s always seemed balanced and acceptable. Recently though he seems to be on it hell of a lot more, if it’s not his games console via the TV, it’s games on his smartphone or laptop. He has hobbies he attends for a total of two evenings a week but the rest of the time when he's not at school, he’s on a screen. I think I’m going to have to start implementing time limits and maybe having certain times where his phone has to go away and I wanted to know what other parents do so I have a bit of a guideline?

I don't have set rules or times, but tend to just go with keeping the DC busy enough that they can't spend much time on screens, so when they do I feel less 'guilty' because they've walked the dogs or been for a run earlier.

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Lol it's not controlling it's called responsible parenting!! 🤦🏽‍♀️

We also interact with dd (16) she will eat with us, then we play a couple of games or chat, then she is off to do her homework, and once finished her time is her do as she pleases with.
I know plenty of parents whose kids go straight to their room after school, eat dinner in their room, spend all night on Snapchat! These kids are the ones with the attitudes, posting half naked selfies, 1000s of "followers" on insta that they don't even know!
We also started debate night, dd chooses a topic, we do a couple of days research and then have a good family debate on it, they can sometimes last hours and it's a great way for them to educate themselves on current affairs, and for us to be educated on social media! Also good to get perspective on other people views and learn to be more accepting of viewpoints.

my dd is 14, and after school she tends to spend a lot of time on her phone, she does all her homework, has activities 2 nights a week, and is out during the weekend with her friends or me, we don't have phones while having dinner, so we all chat then, im happy to let her get on with it, she's old enough to deside how she wants to relax, after all a lot of adults also spend a lot of time on their phones

I have similar issues but my son has zero hobbies. On a week night we now say Xbox til 6, then dinner, homework (-takes him all of 20 mins), then tv downstairs. We have had to enforce this as he would spend every minute of day and night on the pc in his room. We force him to volunteer at our local parkrun on a Saturday morning which takes him 90 mins for to door and that is his existence currently

Should have said he is 14

The thing is, at that age I only wanted to be in my room and had no desire to be around my parents, who were just watching tv anyway. I always had my head in a book back then, so even when I was there, I wasn’t actually present.

I think fine to get them to come down for family meals or get them to do something other than sitting on screens, but teens don’t seem to go out much anymore and their parents don’t want them hanging around on corners. Most socialisation is done via screens these days.

So no issue with restricting screen time, but also don’t expect that they won’t still linger in their rooms

Haha it's called a debate for that purpose, it's kind of the point that people have different views, so you can learn to understand and accept other people's perception.
It's a great way to learn you don't have to agree with everyone's viewpoint, but can be understanding of them without having to resort to insults. Maybe a lesson somewhere in there for you.

Op what is your concern about his screentime exactly? I’m not being snippy, just asking.

Ds has just turned 16. He was like this too
at 14 but since the start of year 10 around
18 months ago he has been swamped with coursework for GCSE's and has just done the last of his 3 blocks of mocks.

He is a sensible lad too so I've never restricted his time, apart from all tech off at 10 for bed on a school night. He is allowed his phone though and is sensible.

Now he comes home from school, has a snack and gets changed and does an hour of revision followed by an hour on Xbox and repeat. I actually told him that I wanted him to have some screen time as initially he was sat at his desk revising for hours on end and I did this at his age and soon became majorly overwhelmed. Ds has aspergers and anxiety and I don't want to put too much pressure on him.

At 14 I was quite worried. Now I'm not.
If this continues to worry you op then I remember ds's dad telling me that with the Xbox there is a way to restrict time on it, not sure about other consoles.

Sadly I think this is a sign of the times and friendships are strengthened through playing games together online, it's just how they communicate now.

I often moan about it and tell ds that when I was a teen we had none of this stuff ( I'm 41 ) but I know that I would have loved an iPad/kindle/phone if they had been available
back in the olden days

As someone who as a kid spent 8 hours on weekends and 5 on weekdays playing Runescape, I would say restrict screentime! I bet my future kids will hate me, but I don't want them to turn out like me. I look back at my childhood and think "what the fuck did I even do before uni?". Absolutely nothing. Get them into some crafts/hobbies, do some days out, etc.

I absolutely believe screen time should be restricted.
DS1 just turned 12 and would be on his pc 24 hours a day if I didn't restrict it. Its incredibly bad for them to be mindlessly gaming or whatever whilst their brains are still developing.

On a school night he is allowed 1.5 hours. This generally means an hour before tea. Then after tea he has to do homework. Then he can have extra time if he's finished. He is not allowed screens after 8pm. I take his phone away and his pc is controlled by me (parental controls via Windows 10)
He will stay in his room, but he will draw (a new thing that we just discovered he liked doing so we are trying to encourage it) or read (he does not like reading much)
We're a bit more relaxed at the weekend. He's still not allowed all day on it though.

I don't have set time limits but if I think they have been spending too much time watching television on their phones I tell them it's time to do something else e.g. homework or instrument practice. You only have one television that's downstairs so it's a bit easier for us to do that perhaps.

It's up to you

I have banned any video game of any kind during school year and access is very limited during their holidays. I hate them and feel like my kids are wasting their times in front of a screen if they just play.

I have of course heard that "everybody else is allowed to bladibla" so they are terribly unlucky . They do activities or see friends most days though, so I am sure they are fine.

If they are stuck home because of illness or injury, they can play more.