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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Terrified of labour

67 replies

mcjx · 18/03/2019 21:44

So.. labour is imminent and it's now dawning on me that I'm actually going to have to experience it 🙈

Everything is finally starting to feel "real" and I thought I'd feel prepared but I'm so terrified!

I'm awful with pain and have what people would describe as a low threshold and I really feel like I'm not going to be able to do it.

Please tell me I am being unreasonable and that I'm going to be okay.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 19/03/2019 06:57

Both of mine popped out in a few hours no problem. I actually quite enjoyed it. Labour isn't always terrible.
Best of luck!

Tinkerbell456 · 19/03/2019 07:02

Thinking back to my student nurse days during my maternity experience. I remember this woman labouring and Mum and partner were there. Every time the midwife asked the woman a question the mother would answer. Questions about the strength of contractions etc. The woman eventually asked for an epidural and tha Mum said to the midwife “ oh no, she doesn’t need that”. Do not allow this!

Cocopops2010 · 19/03/2019 07:03

Don’t worry you’ll be fine! If you are on the drip either have an epidural at the same time or check that there will be one available if you want one. Be very insistent on that. I was induced and felt very well looked after. Yes it was painful on the drip (before the epidural!) but you know what - it wasn’t that bad. I’d do it again.

Sipperskipper · 19/03/2019 07:05

I had a long back to back labour ending in an emergency c section, and I am a massive wimp - but it really was OK.

Contractions etc were very intense, but more exhausting than anything.

I did some hypnobirthing and it helped to remind myself that this is what my body was made for etc.

Wishing you all the best!

chocolatelog · 19/03/2019 07:14

You'll be fine, I've done it 5 times and with no pain relief with the last two.

And when their out the pain is gone in an instance. Plus you get your prize...a beautiful bundle of joyness! It's the best 👌🏼

anniehm · 19/03/2019 07:32

It's fine! I know someone will criticise me and tell me I'm wrong! but it's not actually painful in the normal sense, more like a wave of pressure. I found the stitches (only had 2) more painful. Try to remain upright, walk about and/or rock on a ball as it really helps (lying on your back is the worst position possible). I didn't have any pain relief second time as they don't use gas & air in the US. I went to a centre specialising in natural delivery with only midwives, quite unusual there. People rarely tell you it will only take 6-8 hours and doesn't hurt because it's not a good tale!

Tinkerbell456 · 19/03/2019 07:40

I have actually heard one mother of two say that she had absolutely no pain, no pain at all, with either of them. Sounds far fetched to me.

CallMeOnMyCell · 19/03/2019 08:10

Agree with others that you need to ask for pain relief before it’s too late. I didn’t have any and by the time the pain was really bad I was 8cm and it was too late even for pethedin.

NinnieNouse · 19/03/2019 08:43

@Tink My mum didn’t feel contractions (which I found far worse than crowing) at all

septembersunshine · 19/03/2019 10:47

Op, when the time comes your adrenaline will kick in. Its a bit like dreading an exam or a test of some sort but when your in the moment its not as bad. I was like you, dreading giving birth...did loads of classes, very prepared and anxious. Do you know what happened? I ended up with 4 c-sections for all 4 babies. I never even experienced labour. Did not see that one coming! Point is with birth anything could happen. You will be fine op.

Dera1234 · 19/03/2019 10:58

OP, I also was induced due to Gestational Diabetes, and was scared about the pain. It was also strange being given a date and going to bed knowing the next morning we would be leaving the house and returning with a baby!

I had a pessary which started contractions immediately (was already 1cm at 37+5). These went on for about 24 hours (nothing major just slightly painful tightening). I went down to labour ward to have waters broken and a bit of a stretch and sweep. That bit was painful but it was over in a second and gas an air helped a little.

Once they'd broken waters the contractions intensified ten fold to the point I didn't know what to do with myself. I begged for diamorphine after 20 mins which left me off my face for about 4 hours. When that began to wear off I begged for an epidural. Turns out DS was back to back.

It did end in twice failed suction and then an episiotomy and forceps then I lost a litre of blood from the episiotomy!

The pain was like nothing I've felt before but I think this was from him being back to back, and I didn't have to have the drip which I think is what people say make subduction so painful normally as they can make the contractions go from 0-100 very quickly.

I believe I was quite unfortunate with my labour, but many people have very smooth inductions.

The pain will come, and you'll have your baby in your arms before long and it's so worth it. My advice would be to do lots of walking once you've had the pessary and to have an epidural before the pain becomes too much.

I was so squeamish at the thought of an epidural but by that point id have done anything for the pain to go. You don't give a shit about being catheterised, about the needle, about anything other than the pain stopping. It allowed me to get some rest before the pushing began.

Good luck, you'll be fine. At the end of it you'll have your gorgeous baby!

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 19/03/2019 11:09

It will depend on the hospital and how good they are but with my DD I was allowed epidural as soon as I wanted it. I will say the most important thing that got me through my difficult induced labour was my husband. He totally advocated for me when I couldn’t even tell the midwife my own name (catalogue of failures meant I had a difficult failed induction ending in a c-section) and he asked the questions that needed asking and pushed for things I needed when I didn’t know I needed them. Take a strong birthing partner with you, it will really make the difference!

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 19/03/2019 11:37

2 births-

Both spontaneous, both under 3 hours and both with only gas and air.

Nothing like I imagined. Nothing like I had imagained my pre planned ‘birthing plan’ to go.

It taught me that it can’t be planned for. What will be will be. We are all different. Just keep your options open!

Tovisaornottovisa · 19/03/2019 11:54

Hi OP. About to have my 4th. Planned for home as was my 3rd. I tried gas and air with my first and never again after the first puff. I was young and no one listened to me and it was hard. I didn't without pain relief which was great however make sure your birth partner pushes what you want for you. This is very important!

I laboured 3 times naylturally with no pain relief with any just breathing heavy breaths through the pain and deep concentration. But that's because apart from gas and air nothing else was offered to me.

Talk to your midwife about your options. And again make sure your birth partner is assertive. Mine wasn't.

After it's all finished and babg is out the pain will disappear immediately and you will forget. Good luck with what you choose to do.

P.s stock up on ibuprofen and paracetamol if you plan to breast feed. The first 3 or 4 days breastfeeding after birth makes your uterus contract and can be quite painful. Take some before you plan to feed and it will help x

mcjx · 19/03/2019 16:26

Thank you everyone for your lovely reassuring comments! Thanks

OP posts:
3in4years · 19/03/2019 16:41

Epidural

Heatherjayne1972 · 19/03/2019 16:55

Has anyone else said that you should tell your husband ( assuming but whoever is with you) what you want to happen. If s/he can insist on your behalf that might help you feel more in control

It’s natural to be concerned Giving birth isn’t like anything else but you’ll be fine Someone told me to welcome every contraction as it’s a step closer to holding your baby
Good luck

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