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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my last day of annual leave for myself whilst DS is in childcare

61 replies

Rubberyduck · 18/03/2019 19:17

I had 5 days annual leave to use by end of March. These were accrued on mat leave. I used one day for myself, this was actually the first day I had had without my son for 16 months as he stayed in childcare. I had lunch and read a book. It was bliss. That was 2 months ago. I have just used 2 more days to do DIY and worked like a dog (no time out for me AT ALL to ensure we had family time at the weekend) and one to have a day out with DS.

Which means I have one day left which I am taking next thursday before I 'lose it' via HR.

Am I selfish to use it for myself and keeping DS at childcare?? Especially so close to mothers day I feel mum guilt and I havent even done anything....

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 18/03/2019 19:18

Do it. Investing in oneself is key to good parenting.

DramaAlpaca · 18/03/2019 19:18

Use it & enjoy it Smile

JellyBeanScene · 18/03/2019 19:18

No YANBU. I hope that you have a lovely day.

sackrifice · 18/03/2019 19:18

Of course it isn't. It is your leave to get break from work. Use it for what ever you want.

MamaLovesMango · 18/03/2019 19:19

You can’t look after other people if you don’t look after yourself. Take the opportunity!

TriciaH87 · 18/03/2019 19:19

Happy mum means happy child. Besides your paying for the day at nursery anyway be a shame to waste the money and pay for nothing.

Original poster
Rubberyduck · 18/03/2019 19:20

It is a break from work but should it be a break from my son too....mum guilt is the pits

OP posts:
Pixel99 · 18/03/2019 19:21

Take the holiday and enjoy yourself. Who knows when you will have this again. I haven't had a day to myself in years. I'd probably waste it, if I had a day's holiday to myself. Perhaps collect your DS an hour earlier and go swimming or to the park, or a cafe.

mbosnz · 18/03/2019 19:21

No, you are NOT being unreasonable! Have it and for goodness sakes, enjoy it!

TheChineseChicken · 18/03/2019 19:21

I love the occasional day of AL child and husband free. In fact I have two booked in next week! Don't feel guilty

Cornettoninja · 18/03/2019 19:22

Do it. Your dc deserve a slightly less frazzled mum.

Plus school holidays will be your next headache so take the opportunity while you can.

JellyBeanScene · 18/03/2019 19:22

Please don't feel guilty. There's no reason to do so. You matter too and your son will be in a familiar place with lots to do and will be well cared for. Relax and enjoy it. You don't have to spend every possible minute with your child to be a good Mum and he'll benefit from you getting a break.

justanothernameonthewall · 18/03/2019 19:22

I'm a childcare provider and think you should absolutely do this! Your child should enjoy their childcare, so they won't be missing out and taking some time for yourself is important (I'm a parent too!)

Fuzzyheadache · 18/03/2019 19:23

There is absolutely nothing wrong in taking some time out for yourself. Whether you do something you want or nothing at all can be so valuable to your sanity. When you chose to become a mum you didn’t opt to not having your own time. Enjoy!

CountessVonBoobs · 18/03/2019 19:23

Do it. I do it once or twice a year. It's fucking bliss

NuffSaidSam · 18/03/2019 19:24

We should really all get annual leave from our kids. It's amazing how we recognise the need for rest from paid work, but not from the endless work of parenting.

When I'm PM everyone will get (at least) 2 weeks annual leave from their kids!

Enjoy your day!

cantbebotheredtoday · 18/03/2019 19:25

Do not feel guilty in the slightest. Self care is important and mums as well as dads all deserve time to themselves. Put your feet up and enjoy.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 18/03/2019 19:27

Yanbu and I'm very jealous! Enjoy

WineGummyBear · 18/03/2019 19:27

Do it and let go of the guilt.

It's full on having kids and 'you' time is restorative.

Enjoy

SouthernComforts · 18/03/2019 19:28

Do it! I haven't had a spare day of annual leave since dd started school in 2014, do it for me Grin

catinboots99 · 18/03/2019 19:29

Oh YABU and a terrible parent. How very dare you even consider it. Don't you understand now that you are a mother you are a mother slave until the day they leave home?????

SHAME ON YOU

Di11y · 18/03/2019 19:30

do it! when I start getting snappy with my kids and dh I take a couple of hours to myself. it's basic self care - your gas mask on first and all that!

dh and I love tacking a day together without kids onto holidays every few months. amazing to reconnect.

Original poster
Rubberyduck · 18/03/2019 19:30

😊 thanks. I spoke to DH and my mum about it and both implied my time with DS was too precious and it of course is but I get so little time to myself. I havent had a night off at all since he was born and just that 1 day. Now my leave is used up this would be my last chance. I guess because my last 'day off' was only 2 months ago it seems quite recent to take another. I think it being so close to Mothers day makes me feel worse!!

God only knows what I would do for the day

OP posts:
nogooddeedgoesunpunished · 18/03/2019 19:30

Do it. I'm taking 2 days the same myself this week (but don't tell anyone) ! I'm going to have afternoon siestas and read! Very excited and my DS will love his time at nursery ( which is paid for whether I use it or not).

Original poster
Rubberyduck · 18/03/2019 19:31

@NuffSaidSam please run for PM!

OP posts: