Get a room- but not MY room!

[Melonsf]

First time poster, long time lurker.
I'm very pregnant - relevant.
Lodger is a friend, until recently has been a single workaholic, renting 5 nights a week. It was perfect, he was usually at work, but when he was at home we'd often all chill out together. (Husband and toddler at home too.)
We have spoken about needing the room back when baby needs own room, timing seemed to coincide with the end of this contract. All going well so far...
BUT: He's just got a girlfriend.
She has basically moved in.
Stuff (tvs, her clothes etc) coming up the stairs when it should be going out.
He recently mentioned his work contract might be extended.
Giggling, snogging, whispering sweet nothings and late night shag fests. (Woke me up as I thought it was the toddler having breathing difficulties!!)
Awkward as hell.
I feel claustrophobic, and have had enough. Am I being hormonal or is this an invasion?

Totally an invasion and totally out of order!

I’m massively pregnant too if that’s relevant so maybe why I’m incandescent for you.
Having a 5 night work lodging with a family is not somewhere you would bring your current shag to? Why can’t he go there? I would be giving notice and having serious words.

What he does in his room is up to him.

Give him notice if you’re not happy.

Give notice for him to leave as planned before the baby is born. Do it asap so he can find somewhere else to live. Nothing has changed on your side, it shouldn't come as that much of a shock to him.

The snogging and sweet nothings are happening in our living room while I'm trying to watch TV.

It's your house, she's obviously not paying rent - than you can ask her to leave. But it is his home, unless ther is a "no visitors rule" then you're possibly being unfair

Give him proper notice.

Give him notice. It's not working.

You have to ask??!

What did you agree about overnight visitors when he moved in?

If you didn't put limits in place, you'll have to hoik up your comfy knickers and say, "Steve, I'm delighted you have a girlfriend but we rented a single room and she's staying too often. Please limit it to (two) nights per week."

So is he potentially there for another 6 months?

No way this is going to work with a newborn? Even without the new GF, I'd be thinking he should have moved out already. You don't want a lodger when you have a brand new baby? Do you?

You need to give him notice.

Rather than give notice, why not address the issue in a grown up manner using your words and face to face?

Think in advance what you would be comfortable with - her not there at all, some overnight stays but not in the common areas, whatever.

If he doesn't wish to moderate his behavior, then he can move out/give him notice.

However you might want to think that it would be hard to get another lodger for such a short period of time so you might wish to tolerate/compromise in order to have the cash.

What's in the terms about overnight guests? Have you had a conversation with him about the situation?

Defo an invasion. Not to mention rather rude. Tell him to take it to his room. If he won't, then it's notice time.

Agree with @displaypurposesonly regarding overnight guests. And you need to reiterate that the date he's due to leave isn't going to be extended, so he can start finding another room.

Have you said anything to him?

@SheRaTheAllPowerful not yet. I'm sitting here dreading hearing his key in the door... Followed by giggles
Thanks for all your suggestions, I knew I needed to be brave. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't being a raging unreasonable pregnant woman (about this issue at least.)

In the living room is horrible, extremely uncomfortable. Be brave, call them out on it whilst they’re doing it and tell them how extremely uncomfortable they’re making you. They can go and shag at hers for a change. I would definitely be giving him his marching orders. Ugh.

You have to be brave, and speak to them. This behaviour isn't on! Give him notice (a week? A month?) now!

Your going to have to make his notice official

good luck with them shagging at her place....there is no "her place" that's why she has moved into lover boys lodgings with her tv and her clothes.

Out they both go, or you double the lodgings fee for every night seh stays.

If she has practically moved in she should be paying rent too

Give notice and stop her staying immediately. I have to say I find it hard to understand why you'd let a stranger stay in your property when your toddler is also there.

I don't mean to cause offence but I'm assuming you don't know her.

How many nights a week does she stay?

And why aren't they going back to hers....

Be glad for your workaholic friend that he has found lurve, and have a conversation about his 'intentions', ie are they planning to move in together? Set some boundaries about how many nights she stays over, not keeping you up, etc.

Give them notice now. They’ve got a month to find a place together.
If they’re both paying rent; they can find a one bedroom flat.
They are absolutely taking the piss.