SAHM

[Jackart]

AIbu to expect my husband to help out just a little bit around the house 🤔

You shouldn’t expect him to help. You should expect him to do his fair share.

Yanbu

I feel as though it’s unfair that I’m doing dinner tidying ironing etc whilst he sits in his arse as it’s his day off!!!
When is it my day off???

Get him told. X

What’s your current split? What are his working hours? Are your kids at school?

I'm a sahm and I'm lucky that my husband does help out on his days off. I don't expect him to but luckily when he is off he does see how difficult it is to get everything done when entertaining a one year old constantly. I do feel guilty sometimes as I feel that it is my job to do the housework, cooking, laundry and looking after our child however as my husband points out its not my job to do it 24/7.we all deserve time off

He should be doing his fair share - what that is depends on how old your DCs are, how many hours he works, his much you can realistically get done during the day, etc.

I read on here once about a man who even refused to take his own plate from the dining table into the kitchen - some MNers thought that that was OK, so I think you're going to get a wide range of opinions.

Don`t do things. Sit down too. What will he do? As long as kids are fed and clean nappies etc [if relevant] just don't do things.

More info needed...

Sahm to one school age child...yabu

Sahm to 1 year old triplets and newborn twins....yanbu

I’ve just came up to bed sofa surfer as I’ve had enough 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ He works alot all week and 2/3 wknds!!! Which is hard going but I’m shattered with the kids on my own!!!
They’re 9,6 and 3 😬

Is the three year old in nursery?

Just started at nursery! So I’m sure things will get easier. Just pissed off tonight 😬😬😬

When older DC are at school and youngest at nursery, do as many chores as you can and take an hour or so for you to recharge...then when they're all home, you'll be well rested and hopefully not have too much house work to do.... easier said than done!

Yawn!!!! He’s a bastard, leave him!!!! What do you want people to say when you have 3 kids in school and he works long hours????

Oh yes yawn yawn yawn to you also Bella vista 1540!!! Thanks for that 😉

Thanks formerbabe 👍🏻

Your kids are all at school/nursery so I dont see why you can't do the bulk of the household tasks during the school day? If you are a SAHM with kids who aren't in the house then I would expect you to be using those hours to focus in the household tasks.

If you get everything done in the day then you just need to share the evening tasks when your husband comes home (eg one does the bedtime routine while the other does the dishes/quick tidy)

When you say “a lot”, when dies he leave, when is he home? Does he do anything in the evenings?

I completely agree melj1213 and I do during the week. But my husband works wknds too and with ferrying kids to hobbies etc it would be nice if he mucked when he got back or had the occasional wknd off 🤔
Anyhoo I’m just having a whinge 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

You’re free time is during the week. You’re dh also works weekends so his time is limited. I have three dc 9,5 andalmost 3 year old I do it all and work all weekend. My free time is during the week I do chores in between throughout the week.

Even then I have the youngest at home

snappedandfarted2019 thanks maybes I need to back off a bit just needed some other opinions nice to hear from someone in same position!

So basically he works during the week and weekends and you want him to spend his rare time off doing household tasks? You can pick and choose when you have some downtime, he doesn't.

He sees it as ‘his’ time. Nothings really changed for him has it? No sharing the jobs, doesn’t think that if he shares that you will have more time together.

I would take time for myself during the working week. Obviously it means that there’s no sharing time together because you’re doing chores and he isn’t. Not great.

It’s how resentment brews and that can kill a relationship.

Melj1213“you can pick and choose when you have some downtime, he doesn’t”
I’m not sure having a wknd solely with 3 children is down time 🤔🤔🤔 love them to bits but not exactly R&R 🤣🤣🤣