4 year old dd at football match?

[rose789]

My father in law occasionally gets cheap tickets for him and dp to go to football matches. Neither of them are avid supporters by any stretch of the imagination.
Today at lunch he said he had a very very special present for dd and totally hyped it up until by the end dd was expecting him to bring out a flying unicorn or something. He said he has got her a ticket to the match with him and her daddy!
She’s 4. There will be so many crowds and chanting and drunk people and swearing I just think it’s totally inappropriate. Can guarantee she will need a wee at least twice and the thought of the men’s toilets in a football ground is just vile. She will be with her dad so I’m not worried from a safety point of view more hygiene. She’s never shown the slightest interest in football in her life.
Dp is pissed off that it means he won’t be able to go for a couple of pints before and after the game. And pissed off that his dad hadn’t told him he planned to invite dd.

I said I didn’t want her to go and that we should just say she’s not old enough.
Dp thinks he should just take her and that she might like it, and if she doesn’t they can just leave.
I asked dd and she said she wants to go with grandpa.

What do I do? I’ve never been to a match in my life’s and he has so he knows better than me.

I've been to the Etihad and Wembley several times over the past few seasons as well as to the Emirates and I can't remember seeing anyone intoxicated.

Actually, we do take ear defenders. DD is quite sensitive to noise and Sheffield United score a lot of goals at the moment 😂

It’s Newcastle vs crystal palace.
The only time I’ve ever seen crowds after matches has been when out drinking in town. Which will be a totally different kettle of fish I know. I have been totally picturing scenes from the 1980’s you’re right

I used to go to West ham with dB and DF from about 5, loved it. DF still can't believe I married a man with no interest in football, SIL has no interest either so the three of us still go sometimes. It's fun

I'm not quite sure why people are saying there won't be drunk people around - of course there will! I went to a rugby match a couple of weeks ago, the two people in front of me were passing a hip flask between them and at one point one of them snorted coke off the back of his hand. I'm honestly not sure of my thoughts on this one - my 4 year old wouldn't cope, but she also cried at Pingu this morning so she is on the sensitive side. I just wasn't convinced by the idea that no one would be drunk or a bit lairy at the match...

Is seeing someone drunk really unbearable for your precious little darlings?!

@sweeneytoddsrazor Why would the flask not be allowed? We take one each!

@Tomtontom I guess different grounds have different rules. Most grounds I have been in will only allow plastic bottles you have to buy coffee in the plastic or polystyrene cups.

My partner gets corporate tickets from work.
It's really family oriented. Not seen any bad behaviour at these.

My best friend has a season ticket and is in the main stands. Totally different but never any bad behaviour that's she's told
Me
About.

Ear defenders are a great idea and also make sure she has lots of layers as it can be cold. I think it's lovely, I was expecting when I started reading that FIL was excluding your daughter as she was a girl. He is obviously excited to share, agree dp won't want to do it again but think three generations enjoying the footie is lovely

@jezziefish Football is very different to rugby in terms of alcohol though. You can't buy alcohol in the ground and most grounds try to avoid letting people who are already drunk in. Whereas rugby still very much has a drinking at the match culture.

For Newcastle United, they don't allow glass bottles that could cause injury. Flasks don't fall under this rule.

(Have checked with a friend who has visited every Premiership club, he says it's mainly the very biggest clubs that ban them - Man Utd being one.)

I’ve never been to a match in my life

Well, that's fairly apparent from your description of what you think it will be like

I think it is wrong for anyone to psych small children up into being excited about going somewhere with them or to something that they haven't first 'okayed' with the dc's parents. I would speak to him about that, separately, and ask him not to do it again, but I wouldn't have any problem with them taking her.

Rugby is far more alcoholic than football despite what some people would have you believe. Also much less family friendly.

If it's the family stand then there will be loads of other younger children around and it tends not to be to sweary. As long as your DP is with her to keep her amused and explain what's happening when goals go in etc and she can sit on his knee. If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to go again.

I think you should let her go, hopefully she will enjoy it. I took my DD to rugby at a similar age. She got a bit fidgety before she ate a huge hotdog. She enjoyed it.
I go to football regularly and apart from some mindless idiots there usually isn’t much in the way of swearing or drunken ness.

Mine went to international football matches from younger than that - two of them asked not to go when they got older, the other two still love it and go (we currently have campaign tickets in the family area, but have gone in the general areas with young kids too)

There are ends which are not really family friendly - if he often goes he will know which end (and in actual fact I think I've even seen a warning when you go to buy the tickets that this is the more 'vocal' end of the stadium so you may prefer other tickets

I’d let her go , she may well really enjoy it . I’ve taken my dc to loads of things that they had previously shown little or no interest in / crowds and they’ve managed to survive to adult hood .

Premier League grounds are super fancy.
They have lots of perfectly reasonable toilets including disabled/baby change etc facilities. They host very expensive corporate events there - they aren't grubby pits.
There is no alcohol allowed in the stands.
She won't understand any of the chants anyway.

She may have a lovely time with her dad and grandad. It's really nice they want to take her and aren't assuming a girl wouldn't want to go
Layers are needed - team scarf and hat perhaps to help get her excited about going?

If they are regulars your husband and fil will know about where the crowds/traffic are worst and can take steps to avoid them.

Wow DD is five months and been to loads of football. Didn't realise it was a big deal!

I took my two to lots of matches. (stoke, Man City & Vale). You can only buy alcoholic if you are in the corporate section. The family stand will be absolutely fine.

4 is the age mine started going, only because we don’t have seats in our stand so had to be tall enough to see and be able to stand up. With seats no problem at all lots of tots at games.

I started going to matches with my dad at a similar age, back in the good old days when swearing and drinking was very much a part of the fun. I learnt all sorts of words that I use liberally to this day!!

I take my own small kids these days, its fine, nothing terrible happens. Sometimes they aren't that interested, that's ok too. Firstly because that's how becoming a life long footie fan works and secondly because the world doesn't revolve around them so they don't always get to choose!

I think it's lovely! Many clubs have a unisex toilet these days (disabled or there's even a parent and child one here!) especially rebuilt stadiums. Language isn't as bad as it was either. Dh has taken dd quite a bit and we've all been, it's fine

You're overreacting. She might well love it. It's a great atmosphere and good fun. Let her try it!