Not an Aibu but could do with some advice /coping strategies. I started a new job 9mnts ago. It's been a steep learning curve with very little support. More of a ' find the answers & get on with it' but full accountability if I made any mistakes. Fairly stressful environment, long hours & micromanagement. Then I got pregnant! It's been received fairly well, I think. Around the time I was telling work, I got a new manager. He's very nice, has made me part of the team & given me lots of responsibility which has increased my confidence no end & made things far better generally for me. I finally felt part of the team. Another colleague joined us (senior to me) & seems we generally work well together. One particular colleague (longest standing there now so is a great source of knowledge & as such, we check alot with her to clarify things & get information) is quite highly strung & seems to unnecessarily over react to situations, making it stressful when I just don't see the need.
In my appraisal, (1.5 wks ago) which was generally good, the only negative was that I need to improve my attention to detail. This was fed back from my previous manager & my current one agrees with it.
I have taken this on board & since then, worked really hard to double & triple check everything. In fairness, it's an essential part of my role. I felt I was making progress & was happy with myself.
On Friday, just before I was leaving, my colleague noticed a mistake I'd made, the information I'd provided to another team was incomplete. Their records would need to be corrected & they had presented the information to a committee.
While this is obviously not good, the information provided by my team nerds to be absolutely correct, and it's embarrassing, especially for my new manager, I would think, it isn't the end of the world. I will make sure that it never happens again.
My long standing colleague noticed this and exclaimed, within earshot of everyone, including other teams, that she'd discovered this error & what happened? I checked it & held my hands up. My manager was in a meeting but I emailed him & relayed the situation.
He emailed me back (I had left by this stage) asking me to urgently follow this up after the weekend for further information in order to correct the record if necessary). I replied and confirmed I would & apologised again for the inconvenience.
I am so full of anxiety & although I know its not the end of the world & could be much worse, I jytss can't stop thinking about it & mulling it over. I'm sick with myself. My fledging confidence is in tatters & I'm so embarrassed about how my colleague loudly exposed my mistake.
I haven't been able to enjoy the weekend & just dread facing this. Even know I KNOW its not worth getting so worked up & upset about. I know that I need to continue to work on my attention to detail. Worth pointing out that I don't constantly deliver work full of errors, rather I have needed to correct stuff a few times before I deliver it.
I don't know how to get over this. I feel so judged & unreliable & worthless. I'm thinking about just getting through til my ML & never returning. Which I get is an over reaction. I feel like my colleague has changed towards me slightly since I announced my pregnancy, Tbh, her first comment was 'so you'll be going on maternity leave then?'
She must feel a bit let down although that's her issue.