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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask people to stay away with their possibly contagious children?

15 replies

Ginkeepsmesane · 16/03/2019 20:11

Long time lurker but first time poster (penis beaker, snapped and farted, softzilla etc etc)
-And fuck off Daily Mail

So AIBU to ask that family members stay away from a simple tea party type gathering if one of their children has just gone down with a contagious childhood disease?
For context, they have more than one child, so could have another child harbouring the infectious illness, that's not yet showing symptoms or had any kind of treatment. Also the infected child will only have had 24hrs of antibiotics by tomorrow morning and the party is lunchtime.

This gathering will be special to my family but we rarely see these family members at any other time.
So AIBU to ask the family to stay away?

OP posts:
excitedtobehere · 16/03/2019 20:13

Not BU if they're contagious.

Flicketyflack · 16/03/2019 20:14

You can suggest it Wink

Arewehumanorbones · 16/03/2019 20:15

Surely they will cancel anyway if they have a poorly one?

ThisMustBeMyDream · 16/03/2019 20:18

What illness is it?

HomeMadeMadness · 16/03/2019 20:27

Depends what it is. When my eldest had strep throat (which is contagious) I was told it was fine for him to be around other kids and back in school 24 hours after starting antibiotics as long as he felt up to it. I think it would be overly cautious to ask family members to stay away because they might go on to have a disease. Unless of course anyone has a weak immune system.

HomeMadeMadness · 16/03/2019 20:29

A boy in younger DC's class was also back in school soon after being diagnosed with scarlet fever. The school gave him his daytime dose of antibiotics. It was fine and no one else caught it.

Original poster
Ginkeepsmesane · 16/03/2019 20:30

Scarlet fever.

Family wasn't forthcoming with information, we only found out through social media and gave our condolences that they will miss tomorrow.
We were then told that only one of them has it and has antibiotics.

I'm therefore assuming they were going to come without saying anything prior?

OP posts:
lilabet2 · 16/03/2019 20:34

YANBU at all. My younger brother got 'Rheumatic Fever' as a consequence of Scarlet Fever- he was unable to walk for months afterwards and even now suffers from rheumatic/joint pain (20 years later). Scarlet fever can lead to heart complications. Definitely ask them not to come.

lilabet2 · 16/03/2019 20:36

** Oh and just to add that the Rheumatic fever was despite having been given antibiotics for Scarlet fever.

50+ years ago people were hospitalized for Scarlet fever because it is potentially dangerous.

Rubusfruticosus · 16/03/2019 20:37

They only need to be off school for 24 hours after starting antibiotics, so I'd say it was fine.

Original poster
Ginkeepsmesane · 16/03/2019 22:35

Thank you all for your input. My concern
at present is with the siblings being possible carriers/not yet symptomatic and spreading the disease to others, inc my own children.
We have spoken to the family and it was decided that it's best they stay home, but I don't think they're happy about it!

OP posts:
StrongerThanIThought76 · 17/03/2019 08:36

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago - dp about to start chemotherapy so I asked everyone on the morning of our gathering to let me know if they weren't 100% so dp could decide whether or not to come. (Potentially huge risk to his health and treatment plan)

One family member turned up with grumpy child, that evening she texted me to say he'd got chicken pox! Other family members told me she said he'd been unwell and glands swolen but she'd decided to bring him anyway.

Absolutely ok to ask op, whether they're truthful in their response is another matter.

givemesteel · 17/03/2019 08:43

Yes given that it's Scarlet Fever not just a run of the mill virus I would agree. I would be happy to cause offence to avoid my kids (or me/dh) getting that.

lilibet I'm sorry that happened to your brother, I had no idea.

YeahNah1980 · 17/03/2019 09:08

Mmmm you may b being a bit over the top. Scarlet Fever very rarely leads to complications and usually resolves after a few days to a week.

Original poster
Ginkeepsmesane · 17/03/2019 12:11

@lilibet2 so sorry to hear the complications your brother had/has.
I think as it's something many children go down with, people tend to minimise how serious things could get. Just like Chicken Pox (here in the UK).

Sorry for the drip feed, but myself and my children have minor health issues and seem to pick up most bugs that do the rounds, so my judgement is a bit clouded by not wanting yet another week stuck indoors/time off work, as well as having poorly children!

I'm just hoping the rest of the family feels the same as us in regards to spreading it and no fall out occurs because of it!

OP posts:
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