To think being an adult stepchild is tough?

[malificent7]

My mum died of cancer and 5 months later my dad was dating my best friend's mum.
On one hand i am gappy for him, on the other hand it has been a rocky journey.
My dsis and i were cross that dad had moved on so soon, i was cross with my bf mum for making a move on my dad so soon after mum died.
Dsis and i had to tell our dad it wasnt a great idea that he told my late mother's mum about his new girl friend.
He was so happy to find love he just coukdnt see that a bit of subtelty was best.

Moving on a few years and things are ok...but i feel i have lost my dad to my best mate. She has sided with him in an argument and it still annoys me a few years on. I feel that he spends more time with my fruend's granddaughter than his own.
When i got with my current dp about 3 years ago my dad got really nasty with me. I was struggling to find a permanent job at the time and he gave me a really hard time about it. I suspect ge felt he was loosing control of me.
In short things are ok but the dynamics can be tough.i have posted about this
beore and it still plays on my mind today .

Five months after my mum died I'd barely started grieving. It must have been so hard seeing him move on, especially with someone who you were close to.

Its ok...i am happy for him but i struggle sometimes. She didnt meet my dad till after mum died. Tbh she has always been a big support and i do love my stepmum but still find it hard...

Of course you find it hard . I sympathise and have been in a similar situation .

I don’t think you have to force yourself to be happy for your dad. He certainly hasn’t been worried about your happiness.

No one is considering your feelings at all - why should you prioritise everyone else?

You’re deep in grief for your mum, having to accept your father has betrayed you in a way - not by getting together with this woman but by not honouring that you are his DD and should come before the new wife and step child.

He has the right to be with who he wants, which you acknowledge, but he has been brutally insensitive and has shut himself off to you.

How long ago since they got together OP? I

Ages now....5 years. Ive been to councelling. Its ok for the most part but i do have issues. He even said that the abuse i suffered from my ex was not as bad as the abuse his current beau suffered at the hands of hers. I mean ...why even compare...we both had abusive relationships?!

Just wanted to come back to ask if you’ve seen ‘Fleabag’? It’s amazing (BBC comedy/drama - incredible writing and performances - series two had recently started) and one of the themes is that her mum died and her dad nearly immediately got together with her godmother (who is an absolute nightmare). The father offers zero understanding. You might feel a sense of validation OP. I for one really acknowledge how this must be effecting you.

Ooooo I've wanted to watch Fleabag for ages! Will do so asap! Thanks.

You’re welcome 😁 It’s incredible.