Call him out on his rudeness or remain courteous?

[rudeandobnoxiouspeoplemagnet]

I'm putting on a charity show in a couple of weeks with various soloists and groups taking part. All involved were invited and accepted the invitation. I went to visit one of the groups a few weeks ago and the guy in charge was very rude to me in front of everyone and could have saved me a journey if he had told in an email what he said to me so rudely in such a public way. I let it go, life's too short and all that.

At the beginning of this week I sent an email out to everyone involved detailing arrangements for the show. Last night he replied to my email stating I must have misunderstood our conversation a couple of weeks ago and that he was disappointed that his group would be "stuck" on stage for the whole show and suggested they did their bit at the beginning of the first half, leave the stage (to go to the pub opposite!) and come back to do their 2nd spot at the start of the 2nd half and leave. It's quite normal for this type of group to remain in view of the audience at shows and concerts for the duration. This guy is being paid a fee (from ticket sales) for leading the group at the show.

The reason I've asked them to remain on stage is because we will have 20+ children backstage and have to follow all the usual safeguarding and child protection rules, there's no room for them backstage anyway and the venue won't provide an extra member of staff to be on the stage door and all my chaperones will be busy with their charges. Plus the extra time needed to get them all off stage.

So my AIBU is AIBU for expecting them to stay on stage during the show? The way I see it is, I'm organising this show, paying them to perform and they seem to see it as a chance to go to the pub.

So, do I start my reply with "I'm sure you don't mean to be rude"
I want to say, seeing as they'll only be there for around 25% of the show will their fee be reduced accordingly?

Let them do what they want and as they're walking out past the audience tell the audience that they don't want to stay on stage and that they're off to the pub? I'm sure some of them would be shamed.

Any suggestions for a reply that will maintain my professionalism while also letting him know how rude he is?

Glad it’s sorted In my experience it’s easy doing shows with just kids or just grown ups. But putting them together is hard because of the whole DBS/chaperoning stuff, it’s much easier for everyone to just have a blanket rule, keeps everyone safe.

Thanks Unicorn. Normally my concerts are in churches or halls and once one group/choir has finished their spot they sit in their allocated seats in a section of the audience, with occasionally one remaining on stage. This isn't a problem because the children's groups are usually within sight of everyone. Backstage in a theatre is different.