Aibu

[Cabinetoffthewall]

Just need to have a little rant!

26 weeks pregnant with my first (two previous mcs)

Every day I have people comment on the size of my bump, call me fatty (in a jokey way), ask if I'm having twins etc 😳 I'm aware I have quite a big bump but I'm not sure what I'm meant to do about it!

On top of that I have daily stories about their horrific births, how my vagina will be ruined, how my body will be stretched beyond recognition blah blah blah. Why on Earth do people think I want to know about their prolapses etc?

Feeling a bit 😩😳 at all the opinions and scare mongering. I am aware baby has to come out one way or another so quite frankly I'm not thinking about it!

Aibu to think just because someone is pregnant does not give you a free for all on commenting on their body etc? I'm already a little bit daunted by how much I have changed without other people pointing it out to me!

Oops forgot to do a title 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's kinda good practice, because once the baby is actually born the judgement advice only seems to increase, IME.
Congratulations by the way.

In an ideal world, you'd tell them that you wish for all their turds to be hedgehogs and their piss to be like lemon juice.

In this one, however, the best you can do is smile sweetly and change the subject or find an important engagement to attend that requires your immediate attention (like changing the toilet brush).

You talk to some shit people!
I'm also 26 weeks and haven't had any of that..
Be more dismissive if people like that try to talk to you about your pregnancy and they won't feel the to carry on.

@JohnLapsleyParlabane ha!!! Oh dear I best get a better grip of my 🧐 face

Those types are so annoying.
I shut them down by telling them that dd (my 1st) was a 4 hour labour from show to baby in my arms and ds was 45 minutes no tares stitches or anything like that

I know that I was very lucky and don't normally brag about it but the look on there faces is

@Bigonesmallone3 would you believe it's mainly work colleagues! I said the other day (trying to make a point) that every day I tick off from the list of comments people make and that it's a bit harsh when you're already feeling like you're huge. People just laughed! 🤦🏻‍♀️

So now I do what @MitziK says and ignore while trying not to mention their own weight/imperfections!!!

One woman at work who had her last baby 32 years ago keeps telling me all about her horrendous pregnancy. I genuinely think she has some form of ptsd about it all and feels she has to talk about it!

@Stressedout10 oooo fingers crossed I get the same! Haha I'm very much what will be will be but I do not want to sit and think about having some terrifying ten day torture stint!

Hope you do too. Good luck and congratulations

Thank you 😊😊

My friends longest labour was 17 minutes if I recall (it was less than 20) she always wanted a water birth she ended up with home birth every time

If they are other women, look at their stomach and ask them 'When are you due?' 'Can't be long for you now..' etc etc

@AuntVanya weirdly a mix of older women who all have kids and men! Younger women (who tbh I expected it from!) have been really supportive!

I'm rather big for my stage in pregnancy. Midwife says everything is fine, I just show a lot for some reason. So I get some comments too. My response to any rude ones who mention my size, male or female is always to look at their belly and say "haha, you look as pregnant/fat/big as I do!" And then laugh and laugh like a howling hyena. It's funny because they can't say anything about it because they've just been so rude to you and all you're doing is repeating what they said.

Bear in mind though that some people are actually trying to be nice. I have a friend who barely showed for her pregnancy and everytime she sees me she goes "oh wow, the bump is even bigger! You look so pregnant". But she's genuinely being sweet and is just a bit jealous that I have a bump when she always wanted one. So take it on a case by case basis.

I never understood the whole ‘your vagina will be ruined’ nonsense. Obviously if you are unlucky you may suffer long term problems but usually it’s fine surely? I’ve also never understood how people suddenly feel comfortable discussing a woman’s vagina the second she reveals she’s pregnant.

I was just so thrilled to be finally pregnant that I just beamed and said "Yep!" when anyone remarked how huge I was or how awful birth would be.
Focus on your little miracle and sod anything else.