AIBU to ask what are the grossest things your child has ever told you/done?

[34leaper35]

We had the termly letter home from school this week - 'there have been a few cases of nits in your child's class, please check their hair tonight'
OF COURSE my DS does not have nits - he's far too perfect those ghastly blood sucking f*$kers.
But I casually mentioned it over homework. Me: So, precious apple of my eye, itchy head at all?
DS: yes actually
Me: HUH?!?!
DS: well my head was really itchy today so I scratched it and then these bugs fell on my book, so I got the end of my pencil and some of them I squashed into my book with the rubber end and some of them I stabbed with the sharp end.
He's going up for adoption.

He picked chewing gum off the back of a train seat and popped it into his mouth. I also caught him picking his bum then sniffing his finger.

When DS was about 4 he had been ages in the bathroom, I went to see what was going on and found him washing a nugget of poo with the hand soap “because you told me poo was dirty mummy”
A few days later I was at work and gets a call from DH, “your son has jst been and informed me that there is some poo on the bathroom floor and I need to go and move it because mummy says I’m not allowed to touch the poo anymore” we decided then that maybe he wasn’t old enough to go to the bathroom unsupervised yet! and never did get to the bottom of how the poo ended up on the bathroom floor!

As a teacher I am constantly amazed at the number of children who will pick their nose and eat it whilst full on staring you in the face whilst you're talking to the whole class. And I don't just mean the little ones, I'm talking all the way up to Year 6 🤮 I will always call them out on it and tell them to go and wash their hands. They share pencils, paper, rulers etc it's just not on, it turns my stomach!

My youngest - I’ve done a family poo mummy!
Me- explain

• youngest- I did a big poo that was Daddy, then a fat poo which was you Mummy, then a smaller boy which was (brother) and then a small poo which was me

I went for a walk with me two older sons who are now aged 12 and 8 but we're about 6 and 3 at the time, my younger son picked something up and says look mommy a pine cone but it was actually dried dog poo.

My youngest got upset with me for denitting him, he wanted to keep them as pets!

Waiting for a bus with DD she started licking the KFC poster on the end of the bus stop because "I really love KFC and you never feed me" (I did feed her btw, just not KFC every time she asked for it)

Most disgusting thing though was not my child, at work a child told me to hold out my hands, being new to working with children at the time I did so, child plopped a dead bird complete with maggots into my hands, apparently they'd found it in the hedge.