To think getting the bus with young children is unnecessarily difficult

[JuniperGinYay]

... to the point of encouraging car use.

I have a number of local journeys that are easier by bus, cheaper too. But the process of getting on is sooooo hard!

I have three, a little one in a buggy, a 7 yr old with a balance problem and a 9 yr old and I can’t work it out! I have the worlds lightest umbrella fold and no bags on it. I even give the bag to the oldest to help me be free of bags. This morning really was crap, we’re late as the driver refused to let me on as there were already two buggies, despite mine being folded. The bus was about 1/4 full and I could easily sling the buggy on the rack, stand it in the corner of just have it between my knees.

Even when I do get on they do the instant pull away, I end up trying to support two children with a folded buggy whilst they weave off at speed. Someone always falls over or bumps a head.

It’s easier unfolded to hold the kids too, but then I’m at more risk of them refusing to let you on. Despite being able to drop the umbrella fold in around 2-3 seconds they refuse to let you board and fold as ‘it takes too long’. I have been on one occasion actually sworn at.

They are so frequently really rude and aggressive about all of this, I’ve never had an issue on a bus without kids but if you take three kids on a bus you are universally disliked (even though others board slightly slower for various reasons). The kids are well trained to dive for seats and handrails but the speed they move off they simply can’t make it sometimes.

Getting off I’ve had a few ‘accidental’ door closes on us with the little ones getting freaked out, as we can’t stand until they stop as the kids fall over (yes, we sit by the door).

Does anyone else get this in city buses? I get people want to get a move on but if all the people like me weren’t in cars the bus would probably still move faster as the roads would be clearer. The buses are not full when I use them either.

It doesn’t help lots of the drivers hit the brakes constantly and are pretty jerky. Some are decent, but there’s enough of a culture to make it really hard to get the bus.

I’m ranting I know, but I’m sitting in the second bus wet from an extra 20 min in the rain with a grumpy toddler.

Somehow she managed - its not that difficult

wonder if that’s what the person who actually did the journey would say?

I only have one DC, who is 2.5 and hasn't used her buggy for months, walks everywhere with me with a stretchy hip sling for if she gets tired. I would struggle, and probably avoid the bus/tube if I had multiple DC and a buggy.

Yes and no. Also have 3. Am in London so plenty of buses, around 8-15 mins apart. If I was using the double buggy I wouldn’t have a hope in hell of getting on a bus that had space for me for several hours.

If I just have the littlest one, no problem, I can hop on and off really easily. I drive most places but get the bus once a week down to the high street whilst middle one is in preschool. It’s been fine. I think the more kids you have, the more hassle it becomes.

Yanbu. Dp cracked his elbow falling down the bus stairs with ds last year when the driver being a tit.

No amount of complaining seems to make a difference either

Seniorcitizen1 was this when buggies were smaller, probably easier to fold (umbrella fold), there was a lovely gap behind the driver to store luggage (which is now just an additional seat), fewer people travelling on the bus, you were small so remember it as a fun outing on a big red bus etc

So what you're saying, Seniorcitizen1, is that all the people on here saying it's difficult are lying? When did you last get on a bus with three children, one in a buggy, and in the OP's area?

I get on with ds1 and ds2 and a pram, ds2 is 8 months still too little for umbrella fold for me but can't wait until he is in one.
A driver has never stopped me getting on with a folded umbrella pram if its full so odd. I haven't needed to fold the big pram I have at the minute for ds2 though.
I agree it can be difficult. A lot of drivers speed off here too the pram has tipped before and ds1 has fallen over.
They don't always stop when the bell is rung either. Plenty of them are lovely and wait though.

@Seniorcitizen1 I’m sure my kids would perceive it as easy too. Maybe have a chat with your mum one day and thank her for the struggle that must have been! She sounds like a hard-working and strong woman doing that, it deserves acknowledgment, not dismissing with ‘somehow’. I bet she’d have something more to say about it than you do...

@IceIceCoffee yes to tipping, the only issue with the super lightweight umbrella fold is having to hold it on corners so it doesn’t fly around. My old double was more grounded at least.

I do thing it’s a driver issue, it’s not all but enough to make it stressfully unpredictable. Some openly see me and judge and make life hard for me with ‘too many’ kids, they do tend to be a certain type consistently who do it.

I’m in London where public transport is supposed to be a breeze - is it fuck, it’s horrendous!

I was shouted at by a bus driver for getting on with my pram via the back doors, and shouted at by other drivers for getting on via the front door! Each time I take a bus now, I think I’m going to be shouted at, and I genuinely don’t know which door I’m supposed to use.

Most of the drivers don’t pull in close enough to the curb, and this makes it incredibly difficult and dangerous to enter and leave the bus.
The drivers pull away before you’ve managed to apply the pram brakes, and before my oldest Daughter (4) has sat down.
Many passengers who stand in the pram area won’t move out of the way, or deliberately take a long time doing so.

People who already have a pram on board hardly ever move their pram over, or if they do, have such an attitude about it.
If I take the bus it’s usually as I have to go to the supermarket. The return journey with 2 large shopping bags attached to the pram’s bag hook is very awkward. The weight makes it harder to manoeuvre, and the bulk gets in the way.
The constant worry that a wheelchair user will get on the bus and I’ll have to get off the bus (my pram is very awkward and time consuming to fold down).
The constant worry when waiting for a bus that it’ll be full of pram/wheelchairs, and I’ll be unable to get on.

I have mental health issues and going out makes me anxious enough, but everyone tells me I must get out and about to help my conditions, but public transport has left me a bundle of nerves. I don’t drive, so this is the only way I can get around. I have tube stations all around me, all without lifts or even escalators, and there’s no chance would I take my children on there alone. I’ve done it with my Mum and Dad a few times, but it’s just completely impractical and dangerous.

Oh, and a driver started closing the door on my 4 year the other week as we were trying to board the bus - I don’t think I have ever shouted out so loudly in my life.

I stopped getting the bus into town when I had DS, because I realised that unless you went early in the morning or late at night you literally cannot get on the bus with a buggy at my stop - it's halfway through the route and never once did a bus come that didn't already have two pushchairs on it, and I couldn't fold his pram up because it had the lie-flat carrycot bit for under six month olds on it until recently. It's a two mile walk into town, so doable but not exactly quick to nip in! I could get the bus home sometimes because it starts in town so then I could be early enough in the queue to make it on. I did try taking him in the sling, but the problem there is that he never tolerated me sitting down with him in the sling and so I had to either have him scream inches from my face or stand up and fear crushing him if the bus stopped suddenly!

My then 2yr old once face planted when the bus driver impatiently lurched it. Most of our drivers are quite amenable, but this one had an attitude on him.

I used the bus a lot when I was pregnant/ postnatal as SPD stopped me from walking up hill, so I could manage the walk down to the shops, then got a single journey home. I was in fear of the pram/wheelchair bay filling as a solid body pram and toddler seat on top was not going to fold in any useful manner, and I was already at my physical limits hence being on the bus in the first place. Fortunately it was just up the quiet end of the route so never happened.

I wouldn't have thought that falling passengers flying around the bus and making claims for injuries was worth a 5 second time saving for people to sit, prams to be secured etc.

I have just the one (4 months old) but I've not braved taking a bus anywhere as I juts find the thought of it so stressful - I can't fold it and hold the baby at the same time, and since she is so young it's a fairly bulky pushchair that doesn't really fold to much smaller anyway.
We've been on the trams loads and on the train several times - both have been great. But no way am I trying a bus...

Your bus drivers sound like absolute arseholes. I haven’t found it that bad, but I generally use the sling so it isn’t much different to being child-free.

Admittedly I use the sling precisely to avoid not being able to get on because the buggy space is taken, and because my local train station has loads of steps and no lift so the buggy is pretty impractical for most journeys.

The thing that stresses me out most is when 2 prams are on and the driver lets a 3rd one on and there is simply no space. Its like they want us to scrap between us. If 2 are already on they shouldnt let anymore on!

I use the bus all the time in London with a 4yo and a 1yo and find it fine. My nanny does it with 4 kids, two of them babies in a double. I usually use the sling, because that way I'm guaranteed to get on, but at less busy times the buggy is fine too. The problem sounds like the drivers in your area tbh.

I own a car but much prefer nipping around locally on the bus.

Dump the baby on the driver's knee whilst you sit the others down. I used to do that whilst I folded my buggy, to stop them driving off too soon!

Yanbu. Me and dsis took the bus before Christmas with our little ones. A stressful experience which ended up with dsis in tears. Never again.

Where are you OP? Name and shame.
I’m pretty sure our local bus company wouldn’t do this (though I only have one child). They do sometimes move before you’re seated but usually very gently.

Buses here come once every hour if they arrive at all. I ha very drop son off at nursery and be at my desk by 8:30. There is no cat I hells chance I could do this on a bus. I worry about traffic and pollution but until buses can come up to scratch car it is for us.

@Argeles are you me everything you have written was exactly the same in Bristol. I know one shouldn't complain as there are worse ways to travel and worse things to endure, but f*ck me, some days after bussing with the baby and my 8 year old I'd get home and proclaim 'we are never getting a bus anywhere again!'

Its actually a big part of why I wanted to leave the city for a small town in Devon. Everything here is on our doorstep so no more buses. Which is ludicrous seeing as thats precisely what a city is meant for! but unless you have a car or have enough money to live central to everything, nice area, lots of amenities ect close by, the city sucks for the poor bus people who live far from anything useful!

YANBU. I try to avoid getting a bus into town on weekends with my 2 young dc but a few weeks ago I didn’t have a choice because the zipper on DS1’s shoes broke and there was no other suitable day to go into town for another pair. Parking in the city is exorbitantly expensive, and well known for being so.

Even though I had an umbrella fold pushchair, it was still tight getting on with another pushchair on board. I got the last seat and sat 4 yo DS1 on my lap, 1 yo DS2 sat in the pushchair. No idea what would have happened if I’d had to fold the buggy up, probably stand holding DS2 The bus driver on the trip there started driving before we’d sat down. When the time came to get off, we waited for everyone else to get off and I told DS1 to go in front of me so I could see him. The bus driver then started letting people on before we’d got off, who then got in between me, pushchair and DS1, DS1 tried to get off bus by himself, got upset because he couldn’t see me but me and the person who’d just got on couldn’t get past each other unnecessarily stressful!!