AIBU to think that I'm just not cut out for work?

[Rattlemybrain]

I've come back from yet another interview where I didn't do as well as I wanted. I got flustered under pressure and didn't say everything I should have said. The panel gave me a thorough grilling and I spent the whole of my journey back kicking myself over not saying this that and the other.

I hate my job. I need to leave - but bills must be paid and DP cannot support the both of us.

I don't think I've ever had a "good" job that I have enjoyed. I think it's partly my fault - I am stubborn and get spooked by change, it takes me a while to get used to things, I'm no good at faking things or being nice to people who treat me like shit and pretending that I'm not affected by it.

I get overwhelmed and can't focus towards the end of the day/week and my boss has picked on that and calls me lazy and unprofessional.

I just never feel like I fit in anywhere and I am exhausted thinking about the fact that I have decades of this shit ahead of me but I can't see a way out.

BinaryStar

Yes I know, but being snapped at threw me a bit.

Laterthanyouthink

Thanks, this looks familiar. I will try to stick to it more in future.

I'm exactly the same - I've hated most jobs I've had, especially the 3 "proper" office ones I've had since graduating - I sort of wing it, do my work quickly but pretend it took ages, then go off to a meeting room to read Mumsnet and Daily Mail for half the day!

You probably just haven't found the right career. I'm pretty sure I haven't. Office work is so draining, I can never concentrate after 3pm and would get the exact same amount done working 3 days a week as 5 days a week. I hate the thought of scrabbling up the corporate ladder until I retire, listening to BS speeches about company culture and engagement!

What are you really passionate about? Do you have any hobbies - is there any way you could turn them into a business (e.g. selling online)? How about retraining in something creative, like graphic design, or going freelance/WFH so you can be in charge of your own work?

Interviews are tough. Working in large open plan environments can be more so as the noise levels can be intrusive, people talking next to you about nothing to do with your job, etc. In my last job the floor I worked on was vast, there were no offices and the meeting rooms, in the middle of the floor, were glass - no privacy so I worked wearing earphones or from from home at every opportunity.

Now just thinking - you enjoy compiling presentations and reports. If those skills are good, would you contemplate setting up to work for a company but from home the majority of the time? Then you could start early, take a break mid afternoon during the energy dip (eg sit in the garden, go for a walk etc) and generally be more flexible in your schedule but also work productively.

In my last job we had a document design and production unit on site but the majority of the team worked offsite in a completely different time zone. People would book electronically via the firm's dedicated internet site. Communication with the team would be via email or Skype.

Is that something you could investigate as your next job do you think?