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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let DD wear the same clothes on repeat?

78 replies

SayYesToTheToddler · 14/03/2019 12:43

DD aged 3 has plenty of lovely clothes but she has 3 particular items which are her “favourites”. She wears them until they’re dirty, I wash them and once they’re back in her wardrobe/drawers again and she spots them she wants to wear them again. She probably wears them once a fortnight to once every 3 weeks depending on how quickly I wash and dry them. (Items are a particular dress, a particular t shirt and a particular pair of leggings).

She sees my Ex once a week. And he’s just text me after I’ve dropped her off saying he wants to see her in “different” clothes, as she’s wearing her favourite dress again.

I have no problem with her wearing her “favourites” she wears other things (with a bit of persuasion) but just wants these particular items when they’re available and I am the same in that I tend to go back to the same items of clothes in my wardrobe if they’re available.

Ex knows he is welcome to change her into whatever he wants her to wear but doesn’t provide clothes for his house for her, so I kind of think it’s up to me. One of the items was a Christmas present and was quite expensive (not bought by me) so it’s also nice she’s getting plenty of wear out of an expensive item – I also have bought bigger sizes of 2 of the 3 items so as she’s grown she’s had her “favourites” in the correct size Don’t even think she’s noticed either.

AIBU to think she’s 3 and can decide what she wants to wear as long as it’s weather and age appropriate? Or is Ex right that I need to rotate her other clothes more?

OP posts:

Megan2018 · 14/03/2019 14:35

Surely the only response needed to your ex about this is something along the lines of "Oh do fuck off"?
Or am I missing something here? Why would you even entertain what he thinks about a non issue?

MerryBerryCheesecake · 14/03/2019 14:42

For a start, what sort of a number did he do on you that you take any notice at all of his controlling-non-own-child-clothes-buying bullshit even though you are no longer together.

Put her in something she doesn't like for his days just in case he decides to "accidentally" ruin her favourites. Let him deal with a grumpy three year old.

Happynow001 · 14/03/2019 14:46

He's perfectly entitled to buy her stuff which he can try and persuade her to wear if he wants. He'll then need to deal with her telling him her preferences... still trying to control you is he?

jay55 · 14/03/2019 14:50

I wear the same dresses to work each week, maybe restating through 7 different ones. So repeat every week. It's just clothes.

reluctantbrit · 14/03/2019 15:17

DD thought the world would end if her Thomas T-shirts weren't ready on Monday for the week nursery time.

I thought you meant she insists on you washing an item and then drying overnight.

Nothing wrong with an item every 2-3 weeks

Fowles94 · 14/03/2019 15:44

He sounds a bit of a moaner. I have favourite clothes I wear more frequently than that.

ThreeBagsFullofWool · 14/03/2019 15:55

Your ex is free to buy her clothes and get her to wear them during contact. Tell him to get on with it.

Thenameisweasley · 14/03/2019 15:58

My DD wears the same thing every week sometimes depending how much washing I've managed to get dried and put away. I don't think it matters as long as they are clean and warm enough for the weather!

YanTanTethera01 · 14/03/2019 16:02

My DD, now 18, wore a set of 3 spiderman outfits for a whole year when she was 3. Slept in them, went to nursery in them, played at her friends etc. etc. Even went to her first day at big school in one, accompanied by her spiderman lunch box. Was a great money-saver for me!

Loopytiles · 14/03/2019 16:05

Wouldn’t deign to reply to ex’s feedback/request.

KrazyKatlady · 14/03/2019 16:11

my DS has only recently (and reluctantly) let me throw away a pair of age 2-3 shorts that are among his favourites (he's 8!!)
DD is 12 she has about 578 pairs of black leggings/jeggings and a small selection of grey/black or white tshirts that she wears all the time, when not in school uniform.

golddustwomen · 14/03/2019 16:12

Tell him to fuck off.

Abouttime1978 · 14/03/2019 16:28

As a grown up I have three pairs of the same jeans because I like them.

And the same jumper in three different colours.

You are lucky she only wears her favourites once every 2-3 weeks, my kids drag their favourites out of the washing basket, dirty or clean!

Tell him he's welcome to add to her wardrobe, but when she is with you she can choose what clothes she wears.

Original poster

SayYesToTheToddler · 14/03/2019 17:30

He doesn't use SM so not a show off.

I think it's a control thing. He was controlling while we were together, that and worry that it'll look bad for him if she's in the same clothes all the time.

His contact time is actually only a couple of hours in the week (he does have her EOW and I do have to provide clothes for that too).

She would take the stuff out of the washing basket if I let her but I put my foot down that it has to be clean.

OP posts:

StormTreader · 14/03/2019 17:35

"You are welcome to buy her whatever additional clothes you wish".

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/03/2019 17:42

Maybe stop sending her with clothes, force the issue?

Hoplittlebunnies · 14/03/2019 19:15

Fairly certain I wear the same 3 outfits at work and another same 3 outfits outside of work so wouldn't expect more of a toddler!

Bathbombs · 14/03/2019 19:19

My kids don’t have masses of clothes but even so tend to wear the same 2 or 3 outfits on rotation. DH and I do the same actually. In fact I only currently have one pair of jeans, one pair of work trousers and 1 pair of joggers!
I do laundry regularly so it’s not an issue.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 14/03/2019 19:35

Both my children have favourites that they wear continuously, I've given up trying to get them to wear other clothes, looking back at photos you can see what was flavour of the month at the time , this month currently my 6 year old is loving his shellsuit that his nanny got him I hate it but he wears it constantly I'm sure he realises that I hate it and that pushes him to wear it more !

MumUnderTheMoon · 14/03/2019 19:37

Plenty of people wear their clothes over and over. I know I do. He's being an ass. Tell him if he's that bothered he can change her clothes himself but those are her favourites and you won't care how often she wears them as long as they are clean.

QueenEhlana · 14/03/2019 19:41

Totally off topic, but it would be sensible to try to work out why these are her favourites. Is it colour, style, comfort? And try to make sure that is the type of clothing you buy more of in the future.

Failing that, take her shopping with you and let her choose her own clothes! Hopefully you'll end up with less clothes and more of them will be favourites.

CloserIAm2Fine · 14/03/2019 19:47

Why should DD have to wait to wear her favourite clothes because her dad wants to see her in something different? That seems very controlling! She’s not a doll. As long as it’s clean and appropriate for the weather and what she’s doing, let her wear what she wants!

WinterHeatWave · 14/03/2019 19:48

2-3 weeks??!! I wear stuff more often that that. Currently cycling through 2 pairs of jeans, half a dozen teeshirts and 2 jumpers!!!
DS, who is 7, has a favourite teeshirt he wears every weekend. I've just bought him an identical one a size up. So now he wears school uniform 5 days a week, and identical looking teeshirts, with did the blue or grey bottoms every weekend.
Meh. I can't get worked up about it!

TORDEVAN · 14/03/2019 20:08

once every 2-3 weeks sounds quite sparse to be honest :o my DD has enough clothes for just over a week so repeat wears things weekly!! I really thought you were going to say every other day or something like that. Either way, I see no issue with Children wearing what they want, as often as they want, as long as they take it off long enough to get washed :D

origamiunicorn · 14/03/2019 20:10

Sounds like me

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