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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU not to dry his clothes?

26 replies

Wholovesorangesoda · 13/03/2019 20:18

Ok, ok. I know this is very petty but here goes. Our tumble dryer recently broke, and I asked DF if he would put the clothes on the airer while I was sorting dd out (bath and bedtime routine). He replied "I can't be arsed farting around with the airer". Now. I know it's not so easy as sticking stuff in a dryer but as that's not an option right now it's just tough crap really isn't it!? Wibu to tell him I couldn't be arsed farting around and putting his clothes on the airer?! Argh. I just don't see why it's fine for me to "fart around" with the washing after I've sorted DD out, while he sits on his butt. Honestly. It's not the first time he has said similar and whilst we do share the chores I definitely do more than half and whilst it's pretty I thought maybe it might make him think twice in future! What do you think?

OP posts:
LoudestRoar · 13/03/2019 20:20

Leave his wet clothes exactly where they are. He can deal with them.

DeltaFlyer · 13/03/2019 20:22

As above but stick a few prawns in the pile for good measure

HarrysOwl · 13/03/2019 20:25

Dryer aside - you asked him for help and he couldn't be bothered.

Not was busy, or distracted, but 'couldn't be arsed'. I think you need to point this out to him and see what he says.

cuppycakey · 13/03/2019 20:27

Well doesn't he sound charming?

Does he have any redeeming features or is the tip of the iceberg?

Korvalscat · 13/03/2019 20:30

If you're petty, I am too! I would put my and my dc clothes on the airer - his could fester.

Original poster
Wholovesorangesoda · 13/03/2019 20:30

I have left them for him to sort.

@Harry'sOwl he will just say he has been at work all day and is tired. Funnily enough, the same applies to me.

@cuppycakey he does of course have some redeeming features or I wouldn't be with him, but this is a sticking point for us I won't lie! He seems to be of the opinion that because he works more hours than me (although we are both full time), he can do less around the house because he has had a long day and is tired. I do less hours, but ferry DD around and take the dog to doggy day care etc etc so all in, I'm only out of the house for about 30 mins a day less than him

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 13/03/2019 20:31

I wouldn’t fart around washing his clothes let alone airing them after that comment. Especially as you were sorting dd out and he was sat on his arse

HarrysOwl · 13/03/2019 20:38

cause he works more hours than me (although we are both full time)

This kind of point scoring is really poisonous in a relationship.

It's not about who has done the most/who is more tired/has more to do; you should be able to both shoulder the chores as a team.

Resentment will only increase.

coffeeismyspinach · 13/03/2019 20:43

Fuck that, I wouldn't wash them either.

M4J4 · 13/03/2019 21:21

So he couldn't be arsed to do it and therefore he expected you to do it.

Stop washing and drying his clothes!

notforonesecond · 13/03/2019 21:36

Good for you, OP!

ATBhinchers · 13/03/2019 21:56

Is this DF as in father?

Treaclesweet · 13/03/2019 21:58

Put them in a carrier bag so they get really mildewy.

Bagpuss5 · 13/03/2019 22:02

I like the rule that both are on the go til the work is done.

thedisorganisedmum · 13/03/2019 22:07

I know it's not so easy as sticking stuff in a dryer
kids play and know how to put clothes on an airer in preschool! How hard can it be really.

Well done for leaving his stuff.

Fair enough if he's too tired to do chores, he's more than welcome to pay for a cleaner instead so you can both have a rest.

PoshPenny · 13/03/2019 22:11

Perfectly reasonable for you to leave them to him to sort out. He can do all his own washing, drying and ironing from now on with an attitude like that.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 13/03/2019 22:13

Absolutely leave his stuff! My dh is a bit useless at seeing it needs done, but if I ask it’s done without quibble. I would be steaming if he “couldn’t be arsed”.

vix1380 · 13/03/2019 22:14

Leave him to sort his own shit out in future and when questioned say you couldn't be arsed farting around with his stuff

Happynow001 · 14/03/2019 14:01

So he couldn't be arsed to do it and therefore he expected you to do it.
*
Stop washing and drying [and ironing] his clothes!*

This ^^

Who else does he think is going to do it - the maid?

RestingBitchFaced · 14/03/2019 16:37

I'm assuming DF is darling fiancé? Lazy git can sort his own clothes out

NannyRed · 14/03/2019 16:49

Oh this makes me so cross! So he thinks it’s ok for you to fart about with laundry but it’s beneath him.

Stop doing his laundry, tell you you couldn’t “be arsed” and you probably never will be arsed again. Ever.

Motoko · 14/03/2019 17:29

Yep, leave his shit for him to deal with.

And then leave him. He thinks women are meant to do the "women's jobs", so he's not worth wasting your life on. Misogynistic git.

CheshireChat · 14/03/2019 18:24

I'd be postponing the wedding until he starts treating you as an equal really.

Do not wash his, definitely do not dry them and if he asks you to do something reply you can't be arsed every time. If he complains just ask why is it ok for him to do it and not for you.

Jamiefraserskilt · 14/03/2019 18:29

Ordering a replacement online on next day delivery whilst sitting in his chair relaxing may redeem him. However, no breathes held on that one.
His stuff should sit in a pile to go mouldy.

Hahaha88 · 14/03/2019 18:34

Is he for real?? My OH works full time and I don't, he still helps with the chores and he knows fine well how a conversation would end if he told me he "can't be arsed" doing something that needs done whilst I'm already doing something and he's not!!

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