To think I am not depressed TRIGGER WARNING

[tealcoat]

I live with chronic headaches, when the pains particularly grating I think about shooting myself/being shot in the head.

This is something I would never do, and don't have access to a gun anyway. It can just be quite a satisfying thought. To think of shooting the part of my head that hurts - it would definitely stop the pain.

I have a friend who gets migraines and I mentioned this to her and she was I suppose understandably freaked out and said I should seek help for depression because of my 'suicidal thoughts.'

I certainly wouldn't say I'm suicidal and enjoy the life I have. I look forward to things and generally have an optimistic outlook. The pain is a bit crap but its actually quite well managed. It's very rare that I'm bed bound because of it and generally doesn't stop me doing things (but does still hurt).

AIBU to say I'm not depressed?

So's not to drop feed - I've had the headaches since a car accident I was in as a teenager. Had all manner of investigations, drs have concluded that the nerves are just damaged in some way. I take a combination of medication that works better than others I've tried.

I get really bad headaches and migraines and often imagine opening my skull to relieve the pain.

I can see why they invented trephining. It often feels like that's exactly what I need.

YANBU

I don't think it's unusual to think of stopping the pain at all.

Cool, so given the context its a perfectly normal thought

I wasn't suicidal in any way but I asked the hospital several times to cut my leg off due to sciatic pain, so yes I get it

I used to get terrible migraines during puberty and I used to imagine drilling a hole in my head to suck out the pain.
Fun fact - trepanation, or cutting a hole in the skull, is one of the earliest known surgeries. There's evidence some survived it. Perhaps they had chronic headaches.