Coming out the wood work....

[Georgieporgie1916]

So, I've noticed.... Old 'friends' from 10 years ago suddenly coming out the wood work to congratulate me on my wedding because they've seen my photo on WhatsApp (why do you still have my number in your phone?) or pictures on my Instagram (again, why are you looking, we're not friends on there?)

It's not a few months, it's been 10/11 years we've not spoke, no particular fall out, just drifted apart/just acquaintances... And you want to randomly message me 'congratulations'?

Does anyone else find this strange or am I being petty?
I had it before when I got engaged 3 years ago.. however I didn't post anything online, it was because I had a new photo up from a night out and a ring on my ring finger.... Do people actually pay that much attention?

I wouldn't msg ppl because it looks obvious I'd been looking at their stuff online, that I've still got your number in my phone after so long and well, its none of my business and I don't care!

I've had 3 ppl do this this time, 2 I replied to say 'who's that?'... Long silence when they said who they were, then a 'oh.. Thanks' and then they started asking me lots of questions about my life.... I just think that's nosey and strange 2 of these ppl in particular I have seen in passing over the years and totally ignored me.... This is strange isn't it??!

I agree it's a tad odd. Why don't you come off social media? Aswell maybe these people want to re connect with you?

I agree with pp, come off social media if it bothers you

I agree I wouldn't message anyone after that long and it would appear they may be checking up on you but again, come off all social media and change your number

YANBU I’d find it quite unsettling and odd. I gradually lost contact with someone who had been my best friend but had very good reason to withdraw (she was becoming more and more offensive/racist and woo). I had a Facebook profile under a completely different name as we’d been required to have one on our course when I was a Postgrad as it was how tutors preferred to communicate 🙄. I was only friends with people and staff associated with my course and always put up profile pictures of cartoons or people that were not me as I didn’t want to be “found”. At the end of the course, I stupidly put up a picture of my family and I at graduation. Next thing I knew this ex-friend messaged me saying she’d seen the picture and what was I up to. It felt like such an invasion of privacy and I couldn’t understand how she’d found me (through my phone number on my iPhone which had linked with Facebook). I’d wanted to keep my life private and at the time I was going through a horrendous break up, I didn’t welcome the sudden intrusion back and knowing she could see things I’d been tagged in etc just felt horrible.

How embarrassing for these people that they’ve been outed as social media stalkers!

I don’t blame you one bit for thinking it’s all a bit weird and shameless of them.

I do think there are two people in this world though, the ones who see no harm in it at all and then people like us who find this kind of thing intrusive and unwanted.

Would you consider a new phone number?

I definitely think this is weird, they are clearly watching your moves. Maybe they are a bit jealous? I've come off of social media for reasons like this too, seems to be the only way

It's an odd thing to be upset about - someone being nice and congratulating you.

Rather than stalking you，a mutual friend could have seen on Instagram and it may have come up in conversation.

Or, more likely, if your Instagram profile isn't private, your pictures might come up in that 'Search' section (you know where you can see loads of pics of people you don't follow) if you have a mutual friend who has 'liked' your picture or even if Instagram as a reason to thing it might interest them (I sometimes get posts of people I haven't seen for years and don't follow on there).

If you don't like it you should set your profile to private.

I don't think it's weird that people don't go through their WhatsApp and deliberately delete every person they haven't spoken to in a few years - I barely ever clear out my contacts. Not because I'm a weird "stalker" but because I have better things to do, and i'd just never think to, especially if we had never had a fall out.

I'd have thought they were just trying to be kind. If I heard that a friend i'd not seen for years had a big life event, I'd message them as I'd be happy for them. When I got married and again when my son was born I got so many messages of congratulations from people I'd not heard from for years. I thought it was lovely.

Also agree with pps that you can't have a public social media page and then be upset when people see your pics!

Yabu, if you don't like it come off sm.

I only look at Facebook occasionally, if I saw someone had had a major life event, marriage birth etc then I'd probably comment despite not regularly being in touch. It would be a sign I was happy for them and still had fond memories of them.

I'm sad that people might think that was weird or stalking, I see it as a sign of affection or at least esteem and wishing someone well