Ds stealing/sneaking all the time. AIBU to lock all cupboards?

[Hot4Holes]

I’m just so frigging sick of having my food taken! Ds is 8 and has adhd. Very poor impulse control.
He is always taking our nice food for himself. If I buy myself a chocolate bar and put it in the fridge you can guarantee it will be gone by the time I get back from the loo.

AIBU to put locks on all the cupboards & fridge? It will make the kitchen look awful but I’m so sick of it!

Having exact same issue with my nearly 8 yr old with suspected adhd. We resorted to buying a big tool box and locking all sweets and treats in it.

Should add he can have as much fruit and veg sticks as he likes.

I think that’s what I might do instead. Bit less drastic!
Does your child care about being caught or concequnces for taking? Mine could not care less. He’s annoyed at the time but never learns and still continues to take

You can buy large plastic boxes with combination locks on ebay for cheap. I have one to keep all our medicine in. Maybe that would work?

Interesting - same here - same age and also suspected ADHD!
I've stopped buying nice stuff but he even rifles through the shopping on my way home, just cannot help himself

I will admit I was the same, and am sure I have undiagnosed ADHD

I think I have adhd too, manifests itself v differently in girls/women so I thought I was just weird most of my life.
I don’t remember being as sneaky as this though. I know he finds it hard to control and I feel guilty punishing him, but in the real world he can’t just go round taking whatever he fancies.

Will deffo get a tool box style thing instead of destroying my kitchen. Where can I store my chocolate to keep it cold though?!

Same here. DD will scoff 4 packets of crisps and almost all the biscuits after school if I'm not on the ball.
I have to hide food in my room or DS's room so DD won't eat everything.

You need a fridge lock box.

My Sister has a severe learning disability and doesn't know when to stop eating, not just snacks, anything in sight so my parents now have to lock the kitchen door as she will not stop.

My 18 year old forever does this and did since 7 years old, my youngest hardly eats but is a fridge raider, my middle seems to raid both! I think it's part of growing up.

Get a small countertop fridge/cooler for your bedroom for the chocolate.

I'd take something from his room / a game he likes or similar each time he helps himself to food without asking or when he's been specifically told not to.

Just give him the chance to understand he can't go sneaking and helping himself without it costing him something.

Forgot to add sorry I once literally stripped my son's room of everything but the bed and table because he tried me out, deliberately defied and argued and would not do the simplest thing I asked.

Warned him if he did it again I'd take everything out of his room and he called me on it to see whether I was all talk and playing the Johnny big bollocks.

Day after he got home from school to find jack shit in his room and made an extra effort to gain back what he'd lost and understand when I'm shouting threats I'm not just shouting.

We've been dealing with this for about 5yrs. Dss is 12 now. Kids bedrooms have locks on the door, living room door is padlocked. My dp and I have 7 children between us, who all live with us full time. Due to the amount of people and limited storage space, we can only buy enough treats for a week at a time and as much as all the children can have a chocolate bar and packet of crips a day, Dss will take a whole pack of chocolate bars. If the children get sweets or chocolates as presents (birthday, Christmas, Easter, Halloween) he helps himself. Mainly from his older brother and my four children. It has caused massive arguments as my children feel resentful. If we buy the children any treats they are all treated the same, but the others all miss out because of him. We have tried everything before resorting to locking everything away. I brought my dp some bars of chocolate for valentines day Dss has had three of them. He raided the cupboard and was taking tubes of writing icing and eating that. Will eat jars of chocolate spread, spoons of sugar. Anything sweet he can get hold of.
The other week I had a box of wispa bars (44 bars in the box) he took 8 and ate them all at once.
Its difficult, because we know it's impulse control, but we worry about his health and what impact it has in the other six children not being able to have anything left in the kitchen and having to lock their rooms all the time.
I keep a supply of treats in the car and only bring one item in at a time.
I can't buy biscuits and put them in a tin for all the children as he clears the lot in one go.
Last night I cooked spaghetti bolognase, he had more pasta than his dad and my 15yr old son, probably 50% more than them both,they all had the same amount of meat, within half hour of finishing his dinner he had two slices of toast with a thick layer of lemon curd. I can't believe he was hungry, just wanted something else because my eldest had an apple after dinner.
If he asks for food we never say no, but try to direct him to healthier choices.
I will be following this thread for advice on how to keep treats around a little longer.

I’ve stripped his room back to the bare minimum before. It worked for a day and then he completely forgot why we’d done it and kept pinching.
He’s missed out on plenty of treats due to his taking. He once had to sit and watch us eat pizza while he had a plain cheese sandwich after he’d taken his brothers sweets. Nothing is safe around him.
I worry he won’t learn about self control but if I left him to it we’d have nothing left for the rest of us. I’ve tried letting him control his food intake and he ate so much he was sick!

I’ve ordered the fridge box anyway, good idea thank you. Going to pick up a toolbox and padlock tomorrow to keep cupboard things in tomorrow.

Mine is the same, he takes food from the kitchen after his dinner (generally when he's picked at his dinner and hidden a quantity of it under or down the sofa which is a different issue), I got crucified on a parenting page for saying it was stealing but I don't know what else to call it when he's deliberately taking food that belongs to someone else (for example chocolates that I got for Christmas which was one of my few presents because skint). He doesn't care about punishments, doesn't care about the consequences of his actions. One solution would not be to buy sweets/biscuits/chocolate/crisps etc, but it's not fair punishing everyone else for one child.

I've experienced similar while looking after other people's children. What worked for me was not buying any treats and giving each child a set amount of money each week to buy their own. Once they had eaten their stash that was it. If they stole anyone elses chocolate/ sweets etc that would be repaid out of their money the following week. I do find it works that there are very real and clear consequences and that theyre always associated with the bad behaviour

Apparently there is a link between ADHD and eating disorders because the ADHD poor impulse control directly feeds into the "eating makes me happy, lets keep doing it" vicious circle.
www.additudemag.com/adhd-linked-to-eating-disorders/

Not saying you shouldn't try and stop your child eating 8 chocolate bars at once! Just trying to give some insight into why it isn't necessarily as simple as "they should know that's not ok, just tell them not to and punish them if they keep doing it to stop them being greedy" - making it just not an option by locking it away may be the best help you can give them right now.