Teacher smoking outside school gates

[Omzlas]

I've been pondering over this since Friday and thought I'd consult the MN gurus

There's a teacher at DC school who smokes, fine. The school is almost at the end of a dead end road and I've seen her before, smoking at the very end of the road at the end of school. She was well away from the gates but lots of kids walk that way on their way home, she'd often be chatting to a mother etc and I've never given it that much thought

On Friday, she was stood less than 3ft away from the school gates, smoking. All children would see her as they came out of the gates as you can only turn left or right as you exit and she was stood between the gate and white railing (the kind put in place to stop kids running out of the gate and into the road).

My AIBU: surely this is an appalling message to send to children? I'm an ex smoker and wouldn't begrudge anyone a cigarette if that's how they want to live, but surely not smack outside the school gates? Do I speak to the head or am I being precious? I completely understand that children are likely to see their parents smoking but... at school? A teacher?

I don't know whether I'm overreacting or if my concerns are valid and I should speak to the head. It's a small school (one class per year) but the head isn't that approachable, should I just bite the bullet and speak to her? Mind my own and ignore it?

If she normally smokes 30m away, I would think there was a specific reason for her going closer. ie she had already lit up but went over perhaps to help a child, to catch a parent she just spotted etc. No I wouldn’t complain. If she were to do it regularly, maybe reassess.

'wait, you’d try and tell another adult what they can and can’t do? Ok then.'

Yes, because I and my children are (if I were the OP) members of the school community her behaviour is affecting. My children and I are having to walk through the clouds of smoke.

Adults 'tell other adults what to do' all the time. It's how society functions.

I'd complain...not about the teacher smoking bit. I'd be complaining about the teacher's proximity to the school gates. That's forcing people to walk through the smoke which surely cannot be acceptable from an employee of the school.

If people stood smoking at the entrance to my office security would tear strips off them, it's prohibited precisely because it forces people to walk through it. I'd be disappointed if schools had lower priorities around this than a greedy multinational.

Good point made about how close to the building smoking occurs. The hospitals try and enforce a no smoking policy. People (patients and staff) do smoke on the hospital grounds.

If they are too close to the building and entrance/exit point then they are told to move on (quite rightly so). Speaking as a smoker and I do smoke on hospital grounds alas I wouldn't dream of smoking just outside of the building door. It is not fair on people being admitted and having to walk/be wheeled/stretchered through a cloud of smoke.

I work in hospitality and we're relegated to the bin area to smoke, well out of sight. It's a disciplinary offence to smoke outside that area.
And that's somewhere that other people stand right in the fucking doorway smoke wherever they like outside despite having a designated smoking area and no smoking signs everywhere else.
I wouldn't complain if you have only seen her once really, not ideal but also not the end of the world. If it's every time then no doubt someone else will say something, but I'd think that fag is probably her sanity between teaching and then going back to do everything else she needs to before she can go.
I do think the reaction would be different if she were a parent.

When I was at school I had a math teacher who would arrive five minutes late for class every day. There would be a message on the chalkboard reading “gone to check the perimeter—back in 5” 😂

I can see why this would bother you a little OP but she’s human too.

I don't think you're being precious at all. I'd be furious. I remember when my eldest went to school, the kids would have to walk through a cloud of cigarette smoke to get in.

Yes it is legs to smoke, it's also legal to use a mobile phone- and kids aren't allowed to that in or around school premises.

Funnily enough smoking does affect other people which is why it's banned from most public places.

Lots of pearl clutching on this thread!

Omzlas
May I ask:
How long is it since you stopped smoking?
On a scale of 1:10 - how difficult did you find it to stop?
What age is your DC?

Smoking is really common in British society. I think you are being quite unreasonable given that these children will see smoking everywhere.

If they have to walk past her they are in danger of inhaling second hand smoke. That is as bad as being a smoker and can cause cancer. And it sends out the wrong message to DC.

I think it's vulgar but hardly the end of the world. As a smoker I hate smoking in public so I can't imagine why anyone would want to have fag in hand waving off children and their parents. It must look so crass.

I agree. It looks awful and if I was talking to someone and I was smoking I would feel uncomfortable and be aware of where the smoke was blowing. I don't rarely smoke in public and if I were and someone approached me then I would stub it out.

*rarely smoke in public (meant to read)

I've never seen a teacher smoking at my DDs' school and I've been doing the school run for five and a half years now. If it were to happen, there would be no end of questions from my DDs, who, believe it or not, have never seen anyone smoking before.

I wouldn't like it, she should have been discreet about it, but if it were a one off I would let it go. You say it's the first time she's done this. It she starts lighting up regularly in front of the children maybe reassess.

Lots of pearl clutching on this thread!

Ah the Mumsnet cliché line used to try and shut down or minimise anyone’s concerns has been used already.

Jesus id be on crack if I had to teach mumsnetters children. Poor woman

id be on crack if I had to teach mumsnetters children.
^ This would definitely be frowned upon. 😜

@Lizzie48

Your children have never seen anyone smoking before? You mean someone they know, right? Because it would be absolutely impossible for a child that has ever had a hospital appointment, a meal out or a shopping trip in town to have never seen anyone smoking.

Adults 'tell other adults what to do' all the time. It's how society functions. if I was smoking quite legally outside and you told me to put it out I’d tell you to fuck right off and everyone else I know is the same.

God I remember going into the teachers common room and waiting for the haze to clear. I remember one of my smoking teachers telling us not to smoke and we were calling her hypocrite. However, I remember very clearly her saying that she found it difficult to stop, despite knowing that just like it did her mother, it would kill her.

People smoke but I think it a better lesson to see someone smoking in the cold and rain because people find it less socially acceptable, than to pretend people don’t.

Ignore it.
You can teach your children about health and smoking however many people they see smoking.
The teacher can't smoke in school and may be stressed. Too many teachers are leaving the profession as it is.

@otterseat

I stopped in April 2018, prior to that I stopped when pregnant with both DC and also when BF (actually stopped from Oct 13 - Nov 16, so between DC1 stopping BF and DC2 BF I didn't start again). When I did smoke, it was after DC were asleep and outside, then when they were with GPs etc. Not once did either of them see me smoke
I moved from smoking to vaping and then knocked that on the head too

I wouldn't call it difficult, I hadn't expected vaping to be so different (to smoking) so struggled a little bit for a few weeks but that passed quickly

Why do you ask?

@JaneTheVirgin

It's not so unlikely these days. Hospitals and restaurants are non smoking and so are all public buildings. Let's just say, I don't recall seeing anyone smoking in front of them. They question everything they see, and I've never had to explain smoking to them.

I'm sure there are teachers and parents that they know who are smokers, but they don't do it in the playground.

By contrast, they're used to seeing adults drinking a glass of wine/beer. DD1 (10 this month) has also picked up the fact that some people take drugs as well, probably from school, so she might have learnt that some people smoke, but the subject has never come up about it.

But dobbing her in to her boss? Really?!

It's generally called not having much going on in your life so your brain looks for things.