To be 26 and feel like life is passing me by?

[Pinkycat]

I have done a good amount ostensibly (degree, “good” job, masters, lived independently in lots of places, high achiever academically) but feel like life is passing me by.

I haven’t had a serious relationship yet. I do get male attention but am so stuck inside my head these days and feel like I’m so ugly/unworthy that it never really comes to anything. I am embarrassed at my lack of confidence which I have to hide on a daily basis.

I have serious issues with my appearance which I think holds me back from developing anything with someone.

I have gained weight so really want to improve my wardrobe and start exercising - I have an ok social life but get nervous going out because of this.

I really want to stop giving a stuff what others think and just live! We only get on life and I’m always so preoccupied by this. Please please help, I’ve been sadder for longer than I can think, I just can’t see any end to it?

Hi,
Sorry, I don't have much wisdom to offer but I didn't want to read and run. I think your idea about exercising is great not just for losing weight but for improving your mental health, boosting your confidence and helping you to feel brighter. You might meet new friends too.
When it comes to love, I think so much of it is about luck and timing and being in the right place at the right time. I have a few friends who are gorgeous, bright sparkly people and they just haven't happened across the right person yet. They are still brilliant; not being with someone doesn't mean you're not wonderful.
26 is still so young; I'm sure you have lots of adventures, laughter and love ahead of you.

Really good advice above. Also would you perhaps consider working with a therapist, just to challenge some of those negative thoughts you hold about yourself and feel are holding you back?

Hi, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Brilliant professional life, but I am also struggling in the love life department for exactly the same reasons. I have done a little therapy and what I am learning is that you have to love yourself first before you can expect anyone else to love you. I have been both size 8 and size 20, and I have learned that it makes no difference in how I see myself. If you want to lose weight, go for it, but do it for yourself.