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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU cramped weekend

19 replies

KittyVonCatsworth · 10/03/2019 20:03

My DHs family are home for a couple of days. There's 5 of them that needs 1 double and 3 single room plus our own space so 2 doubles, 3 singles. DH suggests we move out for a couple of days to give them space (we have 5 bedrooms but only 3 have beds so shy 1 bedroom). I said no, I have work (he's off just now), I have all my stuff here, I've done no washing of work stuff when he said, no meals cooked for the week ahead (I batch cook to save calories and money). I said I'm happy to sleep on the couch for the next couple of days or on the floor of one of the rooms and I've changed our bed to allow one of the singles to have a bed.

He's taken a massive huff because I won't spend £300 for 2 nights in an apartment and that I just want to be in my own home with my own stuff.

I've cooked all bloody weekend for his family, cleaned for them, and I don't mind, I enjoy it but I just want to stay in my home, stay in my routine without feeling like shit.

OP posts:
OffToBedhampton · 10/03/2019 20:10

Errr... No? It's your house/home? If so, they camp down on blow up mattress in your front room or they book b&b/travellodge for themselves.

NuffSaidSam · 10/03/2019 20:10

Why can't some his family stay in a hotel? That makes more sense than you moving out and them staying at your house.

Are the single rooms for children? I'd out them in the living room/on the said and keep your bed for you.

Pinkprincess1978 · 10/03/2019 20:11

If there isn't enough room they foot the bill and find accommodation not you!

KittyVonCatsworth · 10/03/2019 20:25

Yeah, well I'm still getting the silent treatment so apparently IABU. Fucking arseclown. I've cleared my stuff out of the bedroom so I don't have to disturb his DB in the morning and got the bed linen out. Thing is, I really don't mind doing the couch, its 2 days and then we go down to just his DM and DF staying for a week, so we get our room back after Tuesday but he feels he's missing out on sex 🙄

OP posts:
BlueMerchant · 10/03/2019 20:31

Move him out! He's then one less to worry about. He sounds charming.

ABadlyShavedYeti · 10/03/2019 20:32

With that attitude I would be telling he will be missing out on sex for the rest of the bloody year. What an arse he is.

Gibble1 · 10/03/2019 20:34

He’s missing out on sex?
I’d be making him miss out on sex for a lot longer if he acted like such an arse lien (love the saying and am adopting it as one of my own!)

Bubs101 · 10/03/2019 20:34

but he feels he's missing out on sex

I really hope that's a joke, if not he sounds vile.

Sosad2004 · 10/03/2019 20:41

Missing out on sex?!? Blimey can’t he wait a couple of days... it’s his family FFS!

KittyVonCatsworth · 10/03/2019 20:42

I would get his fucking argument if we were having rampant, swing from the chandelier sex during the week but i do a four hour commute every day and he's normally been working for 12 hours so we barely raise a smile for one another let alone a bloody sex weilding cockrod 😂

I'm just so pissed off that he underestimated what my weekends consist of normally with just 2 of us. I do all the cleaning, all the cooking, all the washing. It takes the Saturday to get the cleaning done, Sunday to get the washing and the cooking done. And that's just 2. I've suggested a cleaner to help lighten the load for me as I'm doing 60 hours plus 20 hours commute a week but he doesn't trust anyone in the house.

This weekend has been full on, I didn't manage to get washing on til today, the house has been full with 12+ stayers and visitors since Friday night and I just want be be home.

OP posts:
moreismore · 10/03/2019 20:47

Erm... have you always wanted to be a domestic slave?!

SavoyCabbage · 10/03/2019 20:47

Bloody hell it all sounds overwhelming! I don’t know how you do all of that. Of course you should get a cleaner. And his family should stay elsewhere.

KittyVonCatsworth · 10/03/2019 20:52

Well, no, but if I left it to him it just wouldn't be done. He's been lording it up since Friday that he did the hoovering to his mum. What he failed to say is that I had to go behind him and do it again because he only hoovered around the washing piles I'd separated out upstairs and didn't do the corners. I'm not normally resentful that I do it all because then I know it's been done properly, but I fucking detest the way he takes it for granted. And then the wankbadger makes out that I'm being the selfish one that doesn't want to move out on a Sunday morning for 2 days when I haven't even had time to scratch my arse since Friday.

OP posts:
7yo7yo · 10/03/2019 20:55

God these threads are depressing.
So he wants cooking, cleaning, and sex on tap?
Why are you with this cunt please??
Oh yeah, he’s funny and generous and kind and you LOVE except when he’s not getting sex or your not “mummying” him.

KittyVonCatsworth · 10/03/2019 21:07

7yo7yo yep, I get what you're saying. I can't have it both ways, I can't do what generally makes me happy which is routine and order. I might not like what is routine and order and I might like to make something else routine, like going to the gym or going out walking but that's life and although he's being a knob (IMO) but I'd have to do this shit if I was by myself anyway and most of the time I enjoy being with him. I just get fed up with him not respecting that I have my thing that I do every weekend just to make getting through the week easier i.e healthy food cooked, clean clothes for the week ahead, tidy house. If I'd gone away tonight for 2 days it would take me so long to get the house back in order and I'd end up eating shit food all week

OP posts:
7yo7yo · 10/03/2019 21:13

You are enabling him to be a useless manchild.
He’ll never change and if/when you have kids this will all still be yours to deal with as well as the mental energy to deal with the children’s things.

Sosad2004 · 10/03/2019 23:28

So normally he doesn’t pitch in at all with alll the cleaning, washing, cooking etc? If not you must be dead on your feet with those hours plus commute ☹️. Seriously you need to tell him to step up and start on the domestic stuff too.

Singlenotsingle · 10/03/2019 23:38

So you're supposed to move out and let his family have the house, all because he's worried he'd be missing out on sex? Shock And what sort of condition would the house be in when you got back? In his dreams! He needs to shake his ideas up. He's very lucky to have you!

OffToBedhampton · 11/03/2019 00:44

Don't give up your bed or your child's bed (if you have DC) for anyone.

If family want to stay, they camp out. Or hotel it. Seriously your are setting up a silly tradition, you want to nip that in bud now. You work long hours.

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