Dh and I have three children (11,10 and 6). My youngest two are both diagnosed with autism and adhd. My youngest also has an autoimmune disease plus expressive language disorder so he can’t talk. In agreement with my dh I stopped working when my middle dc was young as he wouldn’t have coped at all in childcare for long periods of time. I worked part time from home last year though my youngest was barely in mainstream school and it was very hard though thankfully now my son is in a specialist school. Middle dc is having extreme anxiety issues and having many more meltdowns.
The issue I’m finding is aside from basic ferrying around at the weekend my dh isn’t getting involved at all in the heavy stuff such as how we help our middle dc with the anxiety. Ehcp reviews I do the paperwork, IEPs I review and make amends. I’m so tired of carrying this emotional load. He never has any ideas or suggestions. He goes out three times a week for various hobbies. He says as I have more time (now the kids are all at school full time and I was made redundant from work) it’s easier for me to do it. But they’re his kids too.
I feel resentful that every idea of helping the kids comes from me, he just won’t engage and get involved and I’m so sick of it. How can I get him to listen? Or do I just accept as he does very basic stuff that it’s enough and I just plough on alone and make the decisions?