Help! Present needed asap for autistic 6 year old boy.

[Chimmychunga]

Sorry for posting in AIBU. Leaving in less than an hour so desperate for the traffic.

It's our friend's son's birthday today. Completely forgot but do have his card that I bought a few weeks ago.

He is 6 and severely autistic and disabled. I have 1 DD who is 2 so not up to speed with what older children are into.

The shops we have are coop, Tesco or Lidl. Would a bag of sweets work?

Sweets can be tricky as some parents avoid additives. How comfortable do you feel explaining to mum and IOUing it? Child is likely to be overwhelmed with gifts, so really it's about her expectations.

What does he like !.I have a severely autistic 8 yr old son, rival toys wouldn't interest him in the slightest ,he likes playing with water ,he loves by tack ,string and wool, I would speak o there child's mum.

How disabled is he? How about a present with a sensory aspect (but calm) - bubbles/ a torch? If you're really unsure a voucher for his parents to spend on him?

Something tactile - a little stuffie?

Typical toys*

I would ask the parents. Buying the wrong thing for someone on tbe spectrum can lead to severe meltdowns

What? Without knowing his interests you’re going to have to default to a generic present.

When buying a present for someone, adult or child, disabled or non disabled, the safest bet is to ask them directly or someone who knows them better than you and strangers on the internet does not fall into the latter category.

Do you know what he likes? Interests and also what sweets he likes. He may have very specific likes even in sweets. Money in the card if you dont know what he likes.

Agree with the others - it sounds a little bit like you are assuming that he autism defines the things he likes.

Having said that - how about CD audio books of a good general story enjoyed across multiple ages - something like Paddington read by Stephen Fry.

Put money in the card & ask parents to get him something he likes? Amazon voucher?

My boy loved big, gross motor toys. One fave was called a Didi car or I've seen them called wriggle cars... Wiggle Car - Dark Blue [[https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B019BM6UB0/ref=cmswrcpapiisBnHCb1AWE27C www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B019BM6UB0/ref=cm<a class="break-all" href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B019BM6UB0/ref=cmswrcpapiisBnHCb1AWE27C?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-3529087-help-present-needed-asap-for-autistic-6-year-old-boy" rel="nofollow" target="blank">swwrcppapiiisBnHCb1AWE27C]]

You may have left now but I'd get a soft toy, probably a fairly naturalistic animal one. DS and DD still loved them as gifts at 6 so definitely not too old. Or own up and find out what he likes while you're there and send something after, sure any parent would understand and appreciate the extra effort involved.

Say sorry you haven’t come bearing a gift today, but that you wanted to find out / see the birthday boy for yourself / have a little chat today about what exactly he would want, so you could get him a present that would be right for him, and not a general one?

Better than turning up with a rubbish present just to have something for him today!

A touchy feely or pop-up book.

If you're really not sure then an Amazon voucher means the parents can at least get home something special.

Money in a card. When people gave my autistic son anything that wasn't to do with his current obsession, it went to the charity shop because he just wasn't interested and that's a waste of someone's money. Cash can be put towards whatever was on his list of must haves at the time.

And all children with autism are very individual books,tapes toys etc would be of no interest to my son he would be delighted with a year's worth of blu tack

My DD is nearly 6 and severely autistic. She enjoys sensory toys, anything that lights up. We have to be careful though because she will chew most things. We bought her a 6ft parachute for Christmas that she really likes, a colour changing ball and peanut gym ball.

A bubble machine?