Aibu to expect a lie in once a week?

[dadadadadabatmum]

18mo DS wakes at 6.30ish. During the week to get ready and drop him off at childcare I get up at 5.30, DFiance gets a lift to work at 7.30, so gets up about 7.10

At a weekend we have a system where Sat is DFs day to lie in, Sun is mine. Saturdays when I hear DA awake I take him downstairs and that's that. Sunday it's a whole circus where DF claims not to hear ds, is too sleepy, so I go and get him and bring him upto us. Ds flinging himself about the bed, reading, shouting, poking and prodding me and DF for a solid forty minutes before DF shows any signs of waking. I then have to hold DS whilst DF needs '10 minutes laying here with my eyes open to wake up properly' gets dressed, washes, brushes his teeth.

By the time all of this is over I'm wide awake and have been for over an hour, but DF thinks I'm the one being unreasonable. Am I?

No more Saturday lie-ins for your partner! You stay put or bring your son into bed with you both.
I don't understand why you have to get up at 5.30 every weekday? Or that your partner stays in bed till much later?

We started this arrangement about a year ago when our son was 1 and it's not really working either. Sometimes my husband will actually offer me a lie in but it takes ages for him to properly wake up so our son's howling wakes me up as well and annoyingly, when I'm up I'm up and can't get back to sleep. I've not managed to crack this one yet (although sadly my husband is not well at the moment so needs all the sleep he can get).

Do you leave the house first during the week? If you do, you have ultimate control. If he doesn’t want to fulfill his side of the bargain, you could stop doing yours and leave ds with him one morning. Bet you would only have to do it once or twice before he gets the message. I know it’s extreme suggestion or if I’d have the nerve to actually do this.

Less extreme and probably more manageable. At some stage your ds will go into a bigger bed. Perhaps you could get your ds a bed now, which your dp sleeps in on Saturday night. Your ds will then be his alarm clock. Or if he still sleeps through, he could set his alarm all without disturbing you.

Stop putting up with it at the weekend!! Tell your DF to get up and deal with it! And yes, him sleeping every weekday morning until 7.10 when you're up at 5.30 is nonsense.

Just stop enabling him!

To be honest with 2 under 2.5 we've kind of given up on either of us being able to have a lie in on any type of guaranteed basis for the time being.

Sometimes rarely we both get one if the eldest child sleeps past 7am, and if I've had a bad night with DC2 who's still feeding during the night the DP will let me get a extra 30 mins sleep by doing breakfast with them by himself before he goes to work (he works 6.5 days a week) and this morning I got up with them both and left him in bed watching the news for about 15 mins, but I think if we tried to make a formal arrangement it would just lead to the kind of resentment that you are experiencing because life doesn't always work like that with small children.

But that works because we are both willing to take equal responsibility for the children and give the other one a break without having to be asked or doing it on a rota. As others have said the issue here is that he sees giving you a break as optional because you are there and are the default parent. Very selfish and I suspect comes up in other parts of your life too and not just lie ins.

Explain the issue to him and tell him to stop being a selfish shit. I wouldn't put up with this OP. I also think he should start doing two days during the week. He won't get better at this if you don't put your foot down.

Why are so many men such entitled pigs. And why do women yhink it's ok?!

Not having a go at you OP, this just infuriates me. Even dh, who honestly is the most amazing and fair man normally, had to be trained to understand that taking 20 minutes to wake up while baby screamed was NOT giving me a lie in. Ditto 're mornings. It makes me so angry.

On plus side, he did learn. Your dp is being a complete dick. There is absolutely no reason for you to be getting up so early during the week. If you all just got up at 630 you could share the load. As for the weekend, he needs to step up. Obviously on Saturdays you and d's need to be hanging out and playing in the bedroom, preferably on the bed. Or fetch d's, put in your room with dp while you go sleep on couch.

Thus make a me so angry.

Thinking about it more, next Saturday, I'd be booking into a hotel for the night. Leave him to deal with it alone. I'd go for a leisurely breakfast and wouldn't be home before 11.30. Rinse and repeat until he gets his through his selfish, thick head that this is his job. He is a parent just as much as you.

Do the same on Saturday as he does on Sunday. If he wants his lie in he has to give you yours.

2 things.

1. You wouldn't need to get up so early in the week if your DF got up a bit earlier to chip in with the morning stuff.

1. Stop this madness-do the exact same to him on a Saturday. And then discuss with him how ridiculous this whole thing is. Either he behaves like a father or you're off, and EOW you'll have piper lie ins!

Yanbu. I'd lose my fucking shit. All I can recommend is stopping letting him have his Saturday lie in. Either you both get one or neither of you do. Fair's fair.

Dh tried this. I found poking him in the ribs and constantly repeating "ds is awake, you need to take him downstairs" worked well. Also a couple of petty weeks of destroying his lie in on a Saturday worked wonders.

I swear this is us! DH is always more tired than anyone else and on a Sunday (his lie in) he stays in bed until 10/11am whereas on a Saturday I have to get up at 8 because of all the noise. What I started doing, now that's DS is older, is I lie in bed for as long as possible, then DS comes and jumps on the bed. I told DH that when I start getting a proper lie in, he will. It soon worked

Funny how he manages to get up at 7.10 for his lift to work at 7.30 with no bother...yet requires an hour to wake up on your lie in day.

You need to have a strict word with him

And yes he needs to start pitching in during the week too.

He already gets almost an extra 2 hours every day of the week. He doesnt need Saturday, he just wants it too.

Tell him, from tomorrow, he is getting up at 5.30 with you and helping to get things sorted.

With his help, maybe you both get to sleep in until 6.30

Not that it helps but it gets better- come to high school and they sleep until lunchtime, which means the whole house is quiet until I decide to get up at about 10am on a weekend. It does happen eventually!