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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a whinge

30 replies

Thatsnotmyotter · 09/03/2019 23:12

DH has broken his neck (C7 fracture). He was sent home less than 48 hours after his accident with basically no aftercare plan or advice. I have a 6 month old who wakes every hour and a half overnight and am now nursing poor DH who is in absolute agony. He was only sent home with dihydrocodeine and paracetamol which is not touching the pain at all (DH is trying his best to be stoic but I’ve never seen him like this... And I’ve seen him completely broken after absolutely hammering himself in Ironman races so he’s by no stretch of the imagination afraid of pain). Thankfully we have great family support but I still feel like I’m a shitty mum for just abandoning DS with my parents constantly to do things for DH. He is understandably devastated about this injury which is a massive blow to our family life and his (amateur) sporting career. His bastarding company only pays statutory sick pay so this is going to completely fuck us financially because our critical illness cover isn’t applicable. Again, we are lucky that we have family who may be able to help out financially but it’s still a shitty situation to be in.

I’M FUCKING EXHAUSTED ALREADY. Urrrggggggfgggfgghhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
AnOwlCalledPlop · 09/03/2019 23:13

How did he do it?

Springiscomingsoon · 09/03/2019 23:18

Oh gosh his scary. What a relief he is sort of ok and home although sounds like it was too soon.
Take all the help you can get with looking after both him and the baby and yourself. It's going to be an awful time but he will eventually get better. Maybe contact the doc for stronger pain meds.

Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 09/03/2019 23:19

Came off his bike at speed. Head first.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 09/03/2019 23:21

Contact gp for tramadol or similar.

Op it's shite, I broke my ankle really badly when ds was 17 months (and into bloody everything). It was a nightmare.

FaithInfinity · 09/03/2019 23:21

Paracetamol and dihyrocodiene is not going to cut it. It’s barbaric to send him home on that with that sort of fracture! Can you contact 111 to see if you can get anything stronger prescribed? I wonder if there’s an on call GP that could do a home visit for him.

Flowers for you, what a nightmare situation.

Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 09/03/2019 23:26

He’s managed to get himself to sleep so I won’t wake him if I don’t have to but I think of this pain continues like this (he’s fine with the nerve and muscle pains as long as he’s still and horizontal but he’s got this ‘migraine’ constantly now) he’ll need to be assessed. I’m worried that the fracture isn’t as stable as they thought tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 09/03/2019 23:29

Oh and just to stick the knife in, DS has a horrible cough. First time he’s been ill in about four months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 10/03/2019 00:12

And has been uncharacteristically screaming for an hour.

I’m going to have a panic attack.

OP posts:
DoJo · 10/03/2019 00:17

You poor thing- is there anyone you can call now to come and just be with you? It sounds like a really difficult situation and people are usually really great if you ask them to step up when you're struggling.

EcclesThePeacock · 10/03/2019 00:24

Flowersgo ahead and whinge here all you need. And accept all the help you can from family - no, of course you're not a shitty mum to let your parents take care of your DS while you look after your DH.

Merryoldgoat · 10/03/2019 00:29

Wtf? A relative had a similar injury (although I think C4/5) a year ago and was in hospital for months and is still in rehab.

Is he really ok to be home?!

Merryoldgoat · 10/03/2019 00:30

I’m so sorry for you and your family - what a terrible thing to happen.

kaytee87 · 10/03/2019 00:45

Oh op take a deep breath. If you need to then put the baby down somewhere safe and go into another room to count to 10.
Thanks

Aquamarine1029 · 10/03/2019 00:48

Can you get a family member to come over straight away? You need immediate support so don't be afraid to call on them.

Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 10/03/2019 08:17

Thanks ladies. I DID have a panic attack. But then I woke up my mum, she took DS and I have slept for 7 hours. I feel guilty but I really needed that sleep. He only feeds to sleep usually so I have no idea what she has done but I haven’t heard a peep from him🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 10/03/2019 08:20

Why feel guilty? You did the sensible thing.
Now you can face the day feeling a bit more on top of things.

Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 10/03/2019 08:23

Because I’m his mum. I should be able to do this. I want him to feel safe and secure and wanted, not palmed off. My fuse is so short at the moment and I don’t want him to beat the brunt of that. He’s such a gorgeous, easygoing, happy (usually!) little boy and he’s having to cope with so many changes in such a short space of time and it feels so unfair. Surely at a time when his dad can’t be there for him, he needs me more then ever.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 10/03/2019 08:28

Just been in to DH and nothing he is saying makes sense. I’m really worried.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 10/03/2019 08:30

Can you call the doctor? Worth getting advice. Go easy on yourself, this sounds really difficult

SavageBeauty73 · 10/03/2019 08:40

Your Dh should be in hospital. Call for help.

Merryoldgoat · 10/03/2019 08:42

Ambulance. Now.

Littlebelina · 10/03/2019 08:42

Acute confusion by itself is a reason to call 999, coupled with the neck injury I would not hesitate

StoneofDestiny · 10/03/2019 09:09

Dial 999 and get the professional help needed for your husband

howwillwedeal · 10/03/2019 09:12

999 now, enough is enough.