About my husbands opinion of degree

[MaybeIamUngrateful]

I'm fin the first year of my degree, my husband isn't supportive because he doesn't see the point of me doing it.

I already work and have qualifications in the area I'm doing the degree in but at level 3 and its distance learning.

If I ask him to see to the children etc while I study he keeps saying it's pointless to do it,im just doing it so I can say I have a degree and he took the mick when I was telling him I would have letters after my name in a few years. It's really wearing me down.

He doesn't have any qualifications and the only person he knows (not including teachers,Drs etc) at a personal level with a degree works in a factory.

Aibu to be proud I'm doing this in my very little spare time and want some support and encouragement?

Well is it pointless? Will it offer you opportunity to progress and/or a payrise or is it just something you fancy doing? He is being unreasonable for belittling you and your efforts and desires to do something for you though. Is he usually supportive in other ways?

I'm hoping to complete the degree and go onto the teach in the area I currently work in, so teaching the training I have done so far so it's a big step up

YANBU - I'm doing the same but in a different field than I'm employed in. Don't think my DH really gets why I'm doing it but is not unsupportive thankfully. I hate the field I'm currently in and want a career change so am going for it also distance learning. It's tough so I know how hard it is to squeeze in quality study time. If my DH wasn't behind me it would be more so. Please stick to it and ignore his remarks.

Yes of course you should be proud! I'm a lone parent in my first year of a degree and it's bloody hard work...Do you think he's a bit jealous? You say he has no qualifications...
Most people in my life are supportive but a couple have made comments about it being a waste of time. I ignore those people, I should imagine its a bit harder to do that when you live with the person.

If it is something you want to do it shouldn't matter if it is 'pointless'! People do degrees for pleasure or to learn something new - there's no law saying it has to lead to career progression or payrises.

Is he usually jealous of your achievements? Does he try to hold you back in other ways?

Educating yourself is never pointless. It might not lead to riches though. I suppose whether he's being unreasonable about the money it costs and childcare depends on how you've sold it to him and whether he has an equivalent amount of time and money for his personal development should he wish, but taking the kids just makes him sound like an arse.

Taking the piss, that was submitted to say

He has no interest in get to any qualifications, he doesn't have GCSEs, he is happy with his job.

I do a lot of studying when he is at work because he works shifts and I work around the children who are all school aged

His spare time is drinking with his friends, weekends away etc which I've never tried to stop. The degree is funded with student loans so not adore ting us financially at the moment

Your husband is being a jealous arse.

More power to your elbow.

I haven't realised before how unsupportive he was until I told him about an assignment mark I was proud of and he replied with "good for you"

He used to push me into eating badly when I was dieting and used to make plans for driving lesson time so he wasn't here for the kids when I was learning to drive

Good heavens BricksInTheWall - the OP's meaning was perfectly clear. It is the fact of her gaining a degree level qualification that her husband resents. Not its potential material value.

OP Be proud. Keep going. If he were otherwise lovely you might feel you wanted to help him adjust to your new status. But he doesn't sound lovely ...

But he made it seem like my fault. I made the lesson appointment without checking. He once went for an appointment that ran 2 hours late which was not his fault and when I said he should have told them he needed to be somewhere I was unreasonable.

I honestly think you'll out grow him one day. He knows this which is why he's trying to reduce you.

He's trying to undermine you because he's jealous and perhaps he thinks you'll go off with someone more educated than him.
It's not a very nice strategy, on his part.

It does sound like jealousy. You're going to be more educated (on paper) than him. For some people education = intelligence. So maybe he's worried this means you're going to be better than him, and other people will think so too. The male ego, ya know? He's a dick for trying to sabbotage you. You should be proud of yourself! He should be proud of you too.

I'm trying to complete an assignment in my office. He keeps coming in to ask questions and tell me things, he's asked me what my plans are tomorrow even tho we've already discussed it, if ive paid the electric bill, if I want a drink tonight ...all things that could wait.

The children haven't been in once

He’s jealous and fearful that his cushy lifestyle will end. Be prepared for the pushback if your expectations of him change.

You could do so much better than waste your life on this jealous, bitter, unsupportive arsehole. He seemingly takes pleasure in beating you down. How pathetic of him.

Sounds like he wants to sabotage anything that might give you the confidence to leave him.

Diet? Can't have you slim and attractive.
Driving independently of him? Can't have you passing your test.
Degree? Promotion? Can't have that.

Make sure you have alternative childcare sorted for any exams - he will manufacture an excuse to make sure you can't attend. And try and start a row/take your car because his has coincidentally run out of petrol on the day/have the kids but then message just before the exam start to say one's hit their head or is a funny colour. Or just not come home in time.

It won't be unusual for somebody like him to manufacture a 'you're having an internet affair' because you've used a computer, too.

IF you decide you want to stay with somebody who wants to keep you on a tight leash, that is.

Been there, done that. Got rid of the spiteful little shit.

Op - why did you marry so far beneath yourself ? It rarely works, with differing educational attainments combined with a different set of goals and no support. You have nothing in common. No shared ambitions.

Do you have nearby family, friend or neighbour who might let you study in a quiet corner for a couple of hours in the evenings? Or at least query it out loud in front of your husband so he might think twice about continuing to interrupt you like this.

He's insecure that you want something better than what you currently have , he's trying to keep you on the same level as he is on because he cannot be bothered to want to better himself to keep up with you , he can see that it will potentially place yourself higher up the food chain and open up new experiences, people, etc and is worried that it will change what you want in terms of life style, life, partner etc
I don't see it as much an act of jealousy but rather his need for no change and laziness on his behalf
Enjoy your study , close your office door , train the household that a closed door means your busy and unavailable ( except for real emergencies ) be proud of your achievements, and don't give in to his pettiness

I enjoy learning, i have GCSEs, a levels and level 2 and 3 qualifications so I've always been more educated than him, I don't understand why a degree would make so much difference to him

You OH is an arse, OP. Well done you for studying. I really hope I can do something like this one day.
Someone said above about not marrying beneath yourself - well my DH did! He is well educated and his job is an actual profession - all his siblings are too. I just have GCSEs I am a bit ashamed sometimes of that fact. Having said that, there is only a £4K difference in our salaries so I’m not trailing behind I guess.

Good luck with your studies OP!