To tell colleagues I bought it in a charity shop?

[Flowerplower]

I was wearing a nice designer dress to work yesterday and a friendly woman colleague complimented me on it. I said thanks, I got it for a fiver in a charity shop, can you believe it? She looked at me like I had 2 heads!

I'm not from the UK so I don't really know what's the norm here...but surely as there are charity shops all over the high street then shopping in them must be pretty mainstream. We work in an office and are well paid professionals but I feel like I have better things to spend my money on than work clothes. If I'm lucky enough to buy a really nice dress for a fiver AIBU to brag about it or should I just say thank you, and I love your necklace or whatever.

YANBU - every single of item of my (very large) wardrobe came from a charity shop, vintage shop or 'used' from eBay. If I have to pay more than £10 for an item of clothing I am not happy! I make no secret of this whatsoever. And gets lots of compliments on my dresses.

Sounds like she’s a bit of a snob. Ignore her.

She must be very shallow

To be fair, I think it's etiquette to accept a compliment with a simple "thank you". Not to go into details about where you bought and it what you paid for it, whether you got it for a fiver in Oxfam or £500 in Harrods.

Charity shops are amazing, I have had such good things out of my local one and I love bargain hunting. But some people have a very weird attitude to second hand in general, they get all "ewww, gross" about things other people have worn. It's all very weird.

(And of course there is a whole class thing going whereby some people who haven't got much money associate charity shops or second hand with "poor people" and wouldn't be seen dead in them).

It’s not just snobby to look down on charity shop buys, it’s unethical and means she’s part of why the planet is in such a state. If we reused more stuff, the world would be better.

YANBU, she is. Everyone I know would be impressed and we often brag about "look what I've found for £x!" I love a bargain.

Some people are funny about 2nd hand stuff.

I got all our baby stuff from carboot sales and my sister was appalled and all but accused me of child abuse😂

She might have been shocked that you could get something so nice for a fiver, you know, rather than looking down on you.

If it ever matters that much, I believe the poncey way to say it is 'This? It's from a lovely little vintage shop near home' forgetting to mention that it's called Save The Children.

To be fair, I think it's etiquette to accept a compliment with a simple "thank you". Not to go into details about where you bought and it what you paid for it, whether you got it for a fiver in Oxfam or £500 in Harrods.

Christ alive, it’s called making conversation.

Some people have funny ideas about second hand clothes. Bet if you’d said you had got it from one of those ‘vintage boutiques’ the response would have been very different - it’s all in the marketing.

There may be a cultural element to it in fairness to you. The lower down the economic scale the more keen people are to prove they’re not poor. Labels can be very important in social circles that are otherwise poor and disadvantaged. When you start getting into the middle classes you start finding people with weird ideas of dirt and hygiene till you get back to proper posh people who share a spoon with their dog and wear moth eaten cardigans (moth eradication in large estates is hard) to their local.

Britain has some funny habits born through the class system.

Ignore her though, she sounds like a bit of a prat for responding like that but that’s one less bargain hunter I have to compete with!

Same as pp above, pretty much all my family’s clothes come from charity shops, so do my handbags, books, dvds, jewellery, etc...I have no qualms about it and would rather spend my hard earned cash on nice food... i’ve had some right bargains 😁

Maybe she didn't believe you?

I like my designer dresses, but if a colleague asks where it's from I always say EBay (sometimes it's true!) and pretend I can't remember the brand! I'd think admitting it's Ralph Lauren/Mulberry/Chloe etc looks like you're showing off and people will think you have more money than sense!

I always tell people when I got a charity bargain! No, it's not a British thing, just that woman being a snob. I am pretty sure my MIL doesn't like me talking about buying things in charity shops or getting them cheap in the sales because I reckon she thinks it's frightfully declassé and only low-class people talk about saving money

YANBU
Quite a lot of my wardrobe is second hand from either eBay or charity shops. Some of the items I would never really be able to afford without sacrificing elsewhere, so it works well for me. Sometimes the fit or quality isn't great though if buying from eBay, but I take the chance. I tend to buy shoes, swimwear jeans and trousers new though as those items are more in contact with sweaty areas!!

My entire maternity wardrobe is second hand! I was never going to pay full price for something I plan to wear for 9 months!

It's weird how people won't wear secondhand clothes, but happily eat off plates in a restaurant, sleep in beds in a hotel or sit in a sweaty sauna which have been used by many people before.

Your spot on. I bought a cord shirt from a charity shop a few weeks ago and got complimented at work. I think it’s extra cudos for buying in a charity shop.

She's probably just impressed with your bargain!

Ignore her! I love a charity shop bargain, and my local one always has great stuff. So much so, people have started traveling to it after I’ve posted what I found. I’ve picked up kids toys for a tenner that should run into the hundreds. And that’s more than once.

Enjoy your bargain!

There's nothing more satisfying than buying something you love in a charity shop. We shop in them as much as possible.

I do remember being in one particularly upmarket charity shop a few years ago. I walked in a saw a woman I knew from the village who always went to great lengths to look very wealthy. She looked horrified when she saw me looking at her going through the racks. I was only going to say hello but she then decided to,pretend she hadn't seen me and slunk out

I am sat here in a very very expensive cashmere jumper with a very expensive cashmere wrap. I am very very happy person because they were second hand and cost me nothing.

Almost all of my clothes are second hand and I have a wardrobe of designer and high end high street clothes which spark joy! I love charity shop shopping!

You are being totally normal and she was being odd!!

YANBU

most women I know will answer a compliment about clothing with “thanks! It’s from primark!” So your response is normal to me.

All my friends and I love a charity shop or ebay bargain - and we love to boast about our bargains.

I remember though when I was a teenager and bought a jacket out of Oxfam, my mum saying 'someone might have died in that' I said 'Yes, I'm sure they plucked it off the still warm body and sent it to Oxfam'

You were being normal. She was being odd.

I think it a good way to decide who you want to be friends with, depending on their reaction to charity shops. She doesn’t seem like the nicest person

I buy loads of stuff from charity shops - anyone who looks down their nose at people buying secondhand stuff need to give their heads a wobble. Reuse, re-purpose and recycle - it's what we should all be doing. I've got a fabulous handbag and shoe collection, and some gorgeous leather jackets, and no item has cost more than a tenner. I've also bought secondhand furniture, curtains and kitchenware - we recently moved and virtually furnished the entire house from charity shop furniture warehouses.