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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

TO make my 9 year old do times tables and maths at the weekend

53 replies

plum100 · 09/03/2019 13:20

Sorry if this has been done before - Im really doubting my self here! So parents Eve this week - dd is behind in maths reading and writing. School have just subscribed to a times tables app that I’ve put on her tablet. I Think she should do this each day. I have pay a subscription to an online maths programme.
The issue is she kicks up each time I ask her to do it. It’s a massive battle. And with the maths programme she cries and says she can’t do it.
The thing is she will happily play on her tablet for hours a day playing stupid games like roblix and toca city. My argument is if she can play for hours on those games she can bloody well do 30mins of maths a day - with an hour at the weekend on this subscription. I want to take her tablet away and when she can completed said maths time she is then free to play her games. DH says I am putting too much pressure on her and I’m unreasonable- am I really? She’s behind at school. She needs to inprove. Staring at roblix is hardly going to help is it.

Please tell me am I being a tyrant?

OP posts:

OMGithurts · 09/03/2019 13:24

15 minutes of times tables is plenty. Take away the roblox as an unrelated matter. Hours of gaming at 9 isn't good.

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 13:24

30 mins a day is too much.

10 mins a day, weekends off is much more reasonable.

Find a range of fun apps to play.

Better still though would be to build it into normal activities. Baking is good for maths skills or shopping or some kind of puzzle/escape room type thing.

Making it a massive issue and something she hates isn't going to help.

Tavannach · 09/03/2019 13:24

Honestly? Yes, I think you are being a bit of a tyrant. 20 minutes at a time is plenty at 9, and weekends off. Also a little treat when she's done whatever it is she's meant to do on the app. Carrot not stick.

goldengummybear · 09/03/2019 13:26

I would say no tablet until maths practice is done. Not sure if the 30 mins is reasonable because I'd prefer 15 minutes of concentration than 30 minutes of dilly dallying. Is it the app format that's a problem? My kids are teens and prefer practicing maths on paper than on apps and websites. You can buy times table work books very reasonably. Is the app too hard? She might need to get her confidence up on easier maths first.

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 13:27

Little and often is good, so five minutes in the morning and five minutes after school would be better.

Make it fun. Let her have the times tables in front of her and she gets to test you. You and DH go head to head, she sets the questions. Make a funny times tables song. Shout them. Whisper them. Throw and catch a ball while doing them.

A million better ways than an enforced half hour on a maths app.

Original poster

plum100 · 09/03/2019 13:30

Thanks everyone. I do need to be stricter in the tablet - I will be honest and say it’s left around for her to just use when she wants. I wouldn’t mind but like I say she is behind- she needs to practise!

OP posts:

WinterHeatWave · 09/03/2019 13:30

An hour at weekends sounds too long.

We have seen massive improvements in using things like hit the button for just 10mins at a time, 4 times a week (every week night when he gets home at a reasonable time)

Trouble is, his younger brother is now better, and that is causing a different of issues....

But then I'm also the tyrant how insists on "Mummy School" during our 3 month summer holidays. Approx 30 mins of Maths or English or science 5 mornings a week. But not when we are on actual holiday

Original poster

plum100 · 09/03/2019 13:34

I don’t think the maths is too hard - she does find maths difficult which is why I want to help her to boost her confidence - the app has sections starting from easy like multiply by 1 - and the times tables are a all
Of them but she knows up to her 8’s sonthere are lots there she knows

OP posts:

PottyPotterer · 09/03/2019 13:37

I always found just incorporating things like arithmetic and times tables into everyday life worked better than making them sit down to do it for specified times. So I'd test him in the car on the way to the shops for example. Let them go to the local shop with their pocket money, I always found with mine when it was 'his' money he'd make sure he got the right change. Basically I think you have to get creative, there are better ways to learn than sitting down to a work sheet or app imo.

Sirzy · 09/03/2019 13:38

How will forcing it and making it into something to dread help her confidence though?

You need to be fostering a love of maths to make her want to do it. Forcing these apps obviously isn’t going to do that

Original poster

plum100 · 09/03/2019 13:39

How do I foster a love of maths

OP posts:

Tiscold · 09/03/2019 13:40

@WinterHeatWave i don't think that's tyrant at all. They have a whole day to play and do random stuff for 3 whole months (very generous holidays), so a bit of learning during the week does them no harm

WinterHeatWave · 09/03/2019 13:42

Thanks, @Tiscold. I got slated for it on a thread earlier this year.
We didn't do it in the UK. But the summer is just sooooo long out here.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/03/2019 13:44

Do you sit with her and support her while she is doing it? She might find that more manageable and will help you understand her strengths and weaknesses.

I also thing 30 mins is too long, 10 mins would be better.

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 13:48

Does she like board games?

Monopoly is good for maths skills.

Scrabble or boggle should help spelling and maths.

Yahtzee uses basic maths too.

eddiemairswife · 09/03/2019 13:54

Why can't children manage to learn their tables anymore? Is learning by heart becoming a lost art? Do they still learn poetry at school?

Tiscold · 09/03/2019 14:00

@WinterHeatWave. Absolutely, 3 months out of education is such a long time, so i applaud your stance

Original poster

plum100 · 09/03/2019 14:05

Yes I do sit with her - and I know she k owe a lot of them. I wish you would do more so thinks she can do them because she can. Do you think it’s reasonable then tonsay yes have your tablet when you’ve done your 10 mins x

OP posts:

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 09/03/2019 14:05

Try And come at it from different angels.
Tables are key to maths.its the only areas I could assist.

Brought simple tables book's. CDs to sing in the car.

Did tables every summer.. putting like fun puzzle ( never forced) got pasta out to physically show the numbers ( that really helped)

And good old fashioned bribery.

One is expert at tables now

BlueJava · 09/03/2019 14:07

I don't think you are a tyrant, but I'd say 20 mins a day, every day, is fine. Personally I'd also say no tablet until maths is done, but it must be focussed maths not mucking about complaining. For each compliant they get the time extended by 1 minute. Reading every night, say 30 mins with 1/2 them to you, then 1/2 you to them.

Mind used to say "It's hard" - "Yes, doing more will make it easier until you'll wonder why you made a fuss" and they'd say "I can't do it" I'd say "No that's why you need to practise. "I don't want to" - "Ah well, you'll learn to love it", or "I have to do things I don't like as well, nevermind".

Yes I may be tough, but both mine are taking A level maths a year early because they wanted to - not because I pushed them. I battled when they were young and they have made sensible choices without input from me now. Keep going!

FlashingLights101 · 09/03/2019 14:07

I'm also considered a bit of a tyrant (by my own children at least!). My daughter has to do 10 mins violin practice every day when she gets home from school and my son, who is considerably behind in most subjects (SEN) has to do reading or writing (it's probably at least 20 mins, bit that's because he takes do long, not because there's a lot of it). And then they get to play on their tablets, but only 45 mins per day during the week and 2 hrs per day at the weekend and holidays. Apparently their friends get waaaaay longer

Nautiloid · 09/03/2019 14:13

My 9 year olds wouldn't want to do 30 minutes. All they do is at least 15m reading daily. Sometimes they stop then, sometimes carry on.
They practise their spellings 3x a week.
They do 10m times tables about 4 times a week.
Plus one school homework activity.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/03/2019 14:13

I think it is normal parenting to insist dc do the things they have to do before doing the fun activity. I regularly rule the dc have to do homework, practice their instrument, tidy up their toys etc before doing a fun activity. So I don't think you are being a tyrant.

Kaykay06 · 09/03/2019 14:17

Obviously you need them to practise so do normal home work and times tables or maths during the week and make it fun at the weekends, learning but doing - count money, measure things, bake, find games that help with maths etc so it doesn’t feel so much like learning. I do this with my 9 year old as he is fab at reading/spelling but his maths/tables are really lacking but he’s really come on recently. Also getting annoyed if they don’t understand isn’t a help - frustrating absolutely but always another way to learn something

3boysandabump · 09/03/2019 14:18

My eldest 2 have multiplication colouring books. If she likes colouring it may be a more appealing way for her to practice them. I got them from amazon for around £7 I think

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