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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Investing for someone else

17 replies

MinionsEverywhere · 09/03/2019 12:06

This is more of a WWYD and I am aware that this is a tiny violin of a problem. I know how lucky I am. This is not a stealth boast. I also think I know the answer but am interested in other views.

My MIL has made many comments about DH, DC and I's lifestyle. Some of our ability to do this stuff comes from decent jobs but some of it comes from inheritance on my side that my family and I have in turn have invested decently allowing an extra income.

The WWYD is that MIL is now asking me to invest money on her behalf. She has on many occasions pleaded poverty (she is not poor she is just not as comfortable), that she can't afford this and maybe we should do that.

I am very nervous as whilst I have made decisions that have (in the round) worked I am not my DS for example who does this stuff day in day out. I want her to maximise what she has but I feel I would be exposing myself to all sorts of crap should it go wrong.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
HarrysOwl · 09/03/2019 12:08

Absolutely not. Whole host of things that could go wrong!

FleeceDetective · 09/03/2019 12:09

Stay away from it.

You’ll be blamed for everything and anything.

watchmefly · 09/03/2019 12:13

No, just no. Too many things that could go wrong which you would be blamed for. Any reason she can’t approach an independent financial adviser herself?

CloserIAm2Fine · 09/03/2019 12:15

Don’t do it. Especially if she can’t afford to lose money! Or is she wanting you to invest your money in her name in which case still don’t do it, it’s your money!

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 09/03/2019 12:16

Don't do it, maybe your DS could recommend a professional for her to work with

NRPDad · 09/03/2019 12:21

Tell her to see a professional as you are not qualified and would not want this to cause a rift in the future

Chloemol · 09/03/2019 13:10

No she needs to find her own financial advisor you need to stay away

MinionsEverywhere · 09/03/2019 17:55

Thanks all. That was pretty unanimous. Approaching a financial advisor would cost money - her thought on everything is why do that when you can get it for free.

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 10/03/2019 00:37

Nooooooo. Don't do it. Help her google finance advice and offer to drive her to the appointment.. but don't do it yourself

MrsTerryPratcett · 10/03/2019 01:18

She'll take the profit and blame you (and therefore possibly want paying) for any loss.

Stay well clear.

SynchroSwimmer · 10/03/2019 01:22

You could suggest the name of some platforms e.g. Hargreaves Lansdown among others...they have helpful articles with suggestions for fund holdings that MIL could read and decide on herself.

You could give her a list of say 10 funds “that currently work for you” but get her to do her own research.

But as others have said, probably best not to be directly involved. it would be a no-win situation for you.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/03/2019 03:21

Does your MIL actually have money to invest? What are the things she says she cannot afford? How old is she and what is her attitude to risk?

Depending on the answers to those questions would decide whether investing is appropriate for her at all and then whether she can do it herself or is it worth paying a professional for advice - you need a certain level of 'investable' money for it to be worth paying the fees, and this would only be after she had a decent amount in cash, fixed term products and things like premium bonds, especially if she is older and needs to look more at the short to medium term.

If she isn't using her day to day money wisely she can also make an enormous difference by reviewing her budget and making sure she is getting all her bills etc at the best price.

For example, older people (not that she is necessarily older, in theory she could be in her 40s or 50s) sometimes sleepwalk into huge insurance and utility bills because they don't use the internet and haven't caught up with the modern way of discounts for new customers at the expense of loyal customers who pay much more. May also have money sitting in accounts paying pretty much no interest because you also often now have to move it regularly to get at least some interest.

In the first instance I would point her towards Moneysavingexpert so she can review her budget, check she is maximising her income (any benefits she may not be getting?), minimising her expenses and then looking at what she is doing with her capital.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

bungaloid · 10/03/2019 05:57

I've done this for my mother and FIL. I was brutally honest with both of them, don't blame me when you've lost everything etc. I explained the usual risks and made sure it was genuinely spare money. The concerns on this thread did cross my mind but the investments were pretty standard equity ISAs so not super complex or risky.

bungaloid · 10/03/2019 06:02

Also, everyone seems happy to volunteer advice of "buy a property and rent it out" every single time anyone has spare money. Way more risky than index trackers IMO! Strange British mentality I think.

todayiwin · 10/03/2019 06:18

@bungaloid I've made far more money in property than any other investment.

bungaloid · 10/03/2019 06:49

Perhaps you have, but I'm not sure that constitutes good advice.

MinionsEverywhere · 10/03/2019 09:19

I should preempt all of this by saying we actually get on well. I can easily sit and chat with her and staying with her isn’t stressful in itself at all but she does have a very weird view of money like an implication here and there that we could dip into ours for not insubstantial stuff for her or individuals on her side and that this would be very usual on her side as it’s family and she would (but then she came into money and it stayed firmly in her pocket and rightly so and it wasn’t as much but indicated a level of double standards to me)....,

She does have money and she is internet savvy with decent amount of savings but I wouldn’t think investments (and they have to be long term) would be ideal now as she isn’t young....Maybe 10 years ago....

Anyway I told her I just couldn’t in case it went wrong and she seemed ok. I did suggest that if she had free money she could do something with it in the house (something needs badly sorting - it’s not critical but it’s old and needs work imho) to which she responded that the only people who would benefit from that investment would be us and Dh’s siblings etc....

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