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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

what's reasonable when downstairs neighbour has complained about creaky floorboards?

51 replies

WhiteCottonBedding · 08/03/2019 23:03

I live in the top flat- moved in November. My neighbour downstairs has complained about

  • hearing the shower in the morning
  • creaky floorboards
  • opening the door to the bin shed in the morning

I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about it all. The flat is carpeted but the underlay obviously isn't the best. I can't afford to replace it atm.

I will try and put the rubbish out in the evening now, which will be easier as it's light, but I genuinely don't know what else to do about the shower and noise. I feel paranoid every time I take a step!

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 09/03/2019 00:17

It’s not my opinion, it’s against noise regulations between 11pm and 7am is classed as night.

purplemunkey · 09/03/2019 00:23

Having a shower is not excessive noise FFS. It's not exactly drum practice is it? It's normal noise. No one is going to tell OP she can't shower at 6:45 am.

OVAgroundWOMBlingfree · 09/03/2019 00:27

A shower is not classed as excessive noise.

Atchiclees · 09/03/2019 00:42

We live in a semi detached house and we can hear next door’s floorboards in their back room squeak, and they can hear ours. Sometimes when they are moving about at night when she comes in off a shift, it sounds as if there is someone in our house on the landing because of how the noise travels, but that’s still normal sounds. I don’t expect them to float!

Jamhandprints · 09/03/2019 07:20

How annoying OP! I've lived in flats and houses where you can hear the neighbours but it has never bothered me unless it's sweary arguing.
If she says "I'm still hearing those noises" just be bold and say "Its a shame the floors are so thin, isnt it? Can't do much about normal noises I'm afraid, maybe get some ear plugs?"

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/03/2019 07:25

It's probably annoying for her but having a shower before work isn't excessive noise. Put the bins out in the evening, see if there's anything you can do about the floor boards as PP suggested but don't do anything else.

ChariotsofFish · 09/03/2019 07:30

Hahaha at the idea that excessive noise at night regulations might be intended to cover having a shower.

madcatladyforever · 09/03/2019 07:35

Form a coven of witches in your flat and have regular noisy rituals with lots of dancing and chanting.

I would.

borntobequiet · 09/03/2019 07:36

If I took a shower at 6:45 I’d not leave for work on time. 6:15 for me. It’s not excessively early at all.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/03/2019 07:37

Your neighbour may be extremely sensitive or anxious about noise but that doesn’t mean she has the right to demand you’re silent. And yes, the law does hold against excessive noise within certain hours but the key word is excessive - a shower is not unreasonable.

One approach could be to ask her what it is about the noise that bothers her. Did a previous occupant start out like this and get noisier and noisier? As a pp said, if it’s one particular floorboard or area of flooring, that might be easier to remedy than the entire floor. Is it just one thing (the bin store has a tendency to slam) and she’s adding all the other noises in to the problem unnecessarily (fix that and the rest won’t be an issue)?

Do you have a management company? If you do, could you approach them and discuss the situation with them - they might say “Oh yes, she does this to every new resident. Ignore her!”

Or, if you’ve tried explaining why the noise isn’t unreasonable, and that you’re being careful not to impact her as far as possible (e.g. not letting bin store door slam or whatever) then you might just have to learn to brush her off.

Isleepinahedgefund · 09/03/2019 07:40

If you love in a flat, you have to accept that you will hear other people living.

If you had a barky dog or played loud music all the time then I’d have some sympathy, but the shower and creaky floors is par for the course really.

My old downstairs neighbour complained that our bathroom light turning on and off was too loud.....

anniehm · 09/03/2019 07:57

It depends on the time of the shower, if you are banging around or whether it's noisy pipes - I had one that was really noisy in a rental house. Flats are noisy, but it might be worth checking your floor to work out if there's a specific spot which you could repair or avoid. Showering before 7 should be as quietly as possible, but is reasonable (between 11&7 it's expected to keep noise to essentials only). An extra rug might help with the floor, try charity shops.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/03/2019 08:07

between 11&7 it's expected to keep noise to essentials only

No, it’s not. You can’t make excessive noise but there is no requirement that noise is ‘essential’ activities only.

justthecat · 09/03/2019 08:12

I’m assuming the floorboards are the same floorboards the previous occupier had, so surely they’re used to that noise

grasspigeons · 09/03/2019 08:15

You can fix the floorboards and put new underlay down. But showering is just part of life.

rightreckoner · 09/03/2019 08:18

The floorboards issue is the only reasonable one really. You’ve changed the bin time which is good - helpful and shows willing.

The shower thing is just silly.

But floorboards shouldn’t creak. They'll still hear you walking about but they shouldn’t have to hear the floorboards creaking as well. They’ve probably been shot for a while.

Can you afford a carpenter to come and have a look?

lanclass1 · 09/03/2019 08:30

I was absolutely miserable living next to a neighbour like this. She added me on fb and would private mail me every time she heard a noise. It was just myself and my two years old and I was so paranoid that I practically tip toed around the flat but she would still complain that she could hear us walking around. I remember the stress when my son would be pottering around as toddlers do, knowing I'd be getting a message to say she can hear us. In the end I moved lol

lanclass1 · 09/03/2019 08:33

I should also add that that was around ten years ago and I was a complete walk over! You can't live in a flat and expect silence and as long as you didn't put down new flooring when youngest in and you're not blaring music at 3am then YANBU and your neighbour will just need to learn to live with it.

10IAR · 09/03/2019 08:35

Showering isn't excessive noise! It's part of daily life, as is not having perfect silence in a flat!!!

thedisorganisedmum · 09/03/2019 09:00

I absolutely hate noise, but a shower is not excessive! If you want a shower at 3 am, or go to the loo at 4am, you are perferctly entitled to.

Excessive noise are screaming, doors banging, music or the tv (if your neighbours can hear it, it's too loud), kids running around, throwing things etc.

Is there someone who could walk in your flat whilst you go to your neighbour to check how bad the creaking floors are? You might not be able to fix them, but you could understand how much noise they make.
I have visited some places where the sound was truly awful .

Noonooyou · 09/03/2019 09:39

You can’t make excessive noise between 7-11 have your shower later, or in the evening

Can this be explained further please? I'm really confused?! You can't make noise between when..? 7pm-11pm, 7pm-11am or 7am-11am? Of course you can. And a shower doesn't count as excessive noise!

BarbedBloom · 09/03/2019 09:45

I have to shower at 5.45am as I have to leave the house at 6.20am, that is just how it is really so I think your neighbor is being unreasonable about that. I don’t think a shower is excessive noise at all. My upstairs neighbor is a shift worker and often has the tv on above us at odd times, but we just suck it up as the insulation is rubbish.

You could put underlay down in the future and put your bin out at night, but that is as far as I would go. Living in flats is often a pain and people have to live their lives, such as being able to walk around and shower before work.

mammoon · 09/03/2019 09:57

The people upstairs from me are noisy af and when I first moved in here I complained to them a lot. They were uncooperative but over the years have curbed a lot of the worst excesses (although they have now added a barking dog). I realised as time went by that what was upsetting me was more to do with the fact that my previous neighbours had been relentless in their noise and kept me up at night, were rude, aggressive etc etc. For a long time, if there was noise from above, I would immediately flinch, panic, get anxious, and fear that I was going to find myself back in that situation again. I still use earplugs to sleep at night because them moving around upstairs is really loud and disturbs me.

Maybe your neighbour is just a pain, but I would consider giving them the benefit of the doubt. Ask them what is bothering them about the noise you make. As someone suggested, you could get someone to walk about in your flat while you listen in your neighbour's flat - you might be surprised how loud or intrusive the noise is. Put down rugs in the worst spots. Reassure your neighbour that you aren't planning to escalate the noise. Compromise where possible. Agree not to slam doors or jump up and down! Find out what the problem with the shower is - can they hear the water running? I doubt there's much you can do about that, but again, you could get someone to run the shower while you're downstairs and get a sense of how reasonable/unreasonable they're being about this.

Living in flats is much easier if you get along with your neighbours, so I would make every effort to reassure them. If they are reasonable, they will understand and appreciate your efforts. If they're not reasonable, at least you can say you've done all you can to resolve the situation. And then start keeping a record of their harassment.

Good luck, OP!

Littletabbyocelot · 09/03/2019 09:57

I briefly rented my mums flat out, when she moved into a care home and we couldn't sell. Her downstairs neighbour, presumably in shock at no longer living under someone who spent most of their time in her chair or bed, complained to our tenant about every sound. The final straw was when he demanded she turned her heating off at 8pm as the noise of the pipes stopped him sleeping. I spoke to the council and then wrote to his landlord saying his constant complaints amounted to harassment and my tenant was entitled to use her home in peace. His landlord explained to him that some level of noise is to be expected when living in a flat. My tenant stopped trying to live her life silently (she wasn't excessive) and the idiot downstairs moved out.

I've been on the other side, living in a flat when our upstairs neighbour put laminate flooring in. Noise has to be really unreasonable for the council to act.

Movinghouseatlast · 09/03/2019 10:04

It could be that the noise is driving her crazy. If the soundproofing is bad in flats then it can be horrendous below.

It isn't your fault though. We bought a house without realising how awful the soundproofing was. You could hear snoring, weeing, every word of the tv. The neighbour next door complained and complained, it was so stressful. We built a soundproof wall on one floor. But it really needs doing on all 3 floors. We asked our neighbour to go halves with us, but they refused!

Anyhow, rather than the rather aggressive responses suggested, how about you empathise with her? Explain it must be badly soundproofed. Ask what happened with previous neighbours.

You could then suggest that she pays for sound proof underlay. It is actually not that expensive- I looked into it myself recently. Maybe price it up before you have the conversation so that you can give her a figure. The fitting will be the biggest cost.

The shower noise will be travelling through the joists. There is not a lot you can do about that.