Worried about my ex and his interest in teens

[WhoMoved]

Name changed for this 😟

I divorced my ex on the grounds of coercive control, basically he terrorised me until I found the help I needed (via Mumsnet) to leave him. I have a son and daughter via him. DS11, DD10.

After we divorced I bought a property near to a local secondary school which I foresaw my son attending. All good.

My ex husband whist we were married told me he was attracted to teen girls (we were in our 30's at this time) which I was uncomfortable with. We got pregnant and have our daughter.

My ex said he looked forward to having our daughter's friends around for play dates. I felt sick at this as I knew he meant to lust after.

Since our divorce, ex has bought a property within 1 min walk from me & our children and actually backs onto the secondary school my son now attends. It's uncomfortable as he now watches me leave the house and go to shops etc.

Last weekend ex has persuaded his new neighbours to cut down (actually - he has cut down himself) some trees which previously shielded the school from his vision - he now has total visibility into the school fields and into various classrooms, due to the distance from his garden to school building.

My aibu? I'm worried for our daughter .. if he acts on his interests will it affect her? Or am I being UR and just let him look and not act?

To be clear, I hate him for what he did to me/my children and my judgement is likely clouded by that.

it was younger teens, think 16 or less

Well that is scary.

Erm if he told you he lusts after girls aged "16 and under" then he needs reporting to the police.

This man is dangerous and I would NOT let him near my children.

Honestly what the hell goes through people's minds that they wouldn't report something like this when he first told you?? Also what did you say/how did you react? I'd have kicked him out and rang the police straight away!

Under 16 is A CHILD...Thats a paedophile...Teens could be 16 17 18 19...Still a bit worrying for a much older man...But i would not let him around my children & 100% report him...I understand how abuse can make your judgenent clouded...But i wouldnt be unsure...your right to be worried X

Tell your DD only to invite her friends to your house in the meanwhile.

Wtf are you not seeing how awful this is? I’d report him and move across the fucking continent to keep him away from my kids.

Sounds like a disgusting perverted little man
And you’ve done/said nothing about this before...I would absolutely share my concerns anonymously and I appreciate it might be difficult - stop it now part of the Lucy faithful foundation (in Scotland poss different in England but sure there is similar) have support for ex partners etc and perpetrators. You’re not worried re your daughter? A man locally abused his little girl and was found with lots of horrendous images on his devices so it’s pretty horrific to admit that to someone perhaps it was almost so you could report him?

Hope you’re ok op and get the support you need for your kids and yourself, not a nice thing to go through

Can you move Op?

Sorry but you had a child with a man who told you he lusted after children?

I really hope this is a troll ....

He sounds like a perverted sick man who needs to be monitored and not left alone with children including his own.

Sorry but you had a child with a man who told you he lusted after children?

This ^

This ^

The OP has already stated he changed after she got pregnant.

Save your disgust for the perv ffs, not the OP who is trying to stop him having access to teenagers.

She said in the op that he told her this a long time before going on to get pregnant.

So you met a man, he told you he is a peadophile, and you stayed with him and had two children with him.
And NOW you are worried?!

🙄

As PP said, go to the police and tell them everything, they will undoubtedly check his tech and find illegal material then he will go to prison where he belongs. Also surprised you chose to have a child with someone who admitted such interests, and why you didn't report it at the time

Hmmm Eliza, that sort of thing isn't something you forget, ever, so the op is still a massive idiot having children with him. I would be concerned about your children to be honest op!

She said in the op that he told her this a long time before going on to get pregnant.

No she didn’t, she said he told her when they were married. She makes no note of the time scale between that and when she got pregnant.

Hmmm Eliza, that sort of thing isn't something you forget, ever, so the op is still a massive idiot having children with him. I would be concerned about your children to be honest op

And who could stay with someone, and sleep with them, after being told that?

A uni friend's boyfriend once admitted to 'liking young girls' - they both clearly thought he was edgy and cool. He wrote a horrible screenplay about a 13 year old girl in a relationship with a 27 year old man which was the last straw for me seeing either of them anymore... I found it really weird how accepted it was in their friendship circle.

Definitely speak to the police OP, preferably with a sit down interview and take any evidence you have, texts etc although I'm sure it isn't necessary

Definitely cut contact too, let him go through the proper channels if he wishes and you can explain your concerns to the relevant authorities