Dirty John is infuriating me. SPOILERS

[sleepalldays]

Aargh! On episode 7, he's such an arrogant twat. Constant lying, ruining people's lives, Debra's daughters career etc.

I'm finding Debra infuriating too tbh, she's so naive and way to calm for my liking. When she went back to the apartment to get her stuff and ask for a divorce I just gave up with her. She knew he was dangerous, potentially had a gun etc and she still goes there when he's in with NO HELP. 🤦🏻‍♀️

One episode to go... how are you guys liking it?

There's a doc about the real John. Quite a chancer, apparently

@SurgeHopper Yeah I'm planning on watching it after this series, I just can't believe a real Debra would fall for him in real life, and continue the relationship knowing he's dodgy and is rude to her kids! Let alone all the crap that happens after she goes back to him...

Have you listened to the podcast? It's Debra and her daughters and really interesting. I think her naivety and ability to believe him despite all the evidence has a lot to do with how she was raised by her Mum. If you think Debra is naive and too forgiving wait till you hear her Mum......

I just watched the documentary I couldn't believe what I was watching.

The only thing infuriating about it is that it's all true. You'd think some of the outrageous things were added for drama but. Oh no. It all really happened.

@MrsPaddyGrant ooh no I haven't, didn't know there was a podcast. I feel so bad for the daughters to be honest.

I was thinking (mildly hoping as she's so annoying) Debra would die tbh but since she's in the podcast I guess not. Glad at least the real one is alive and escaped him.

@MolyHolyGuacamole I know😩😩 why could everyone see he was bullshitting and trouble but her??

Listen to the podcast true crime profile and their episodes on it. Having been in an abusive relationship and have also done a bit of online dating I can see how people can be charmed and sort of brainwashed. It’s scary.

But watching it I did want to shake her and wake her up to his controlling behaviour.

But she’s still not at fault, he was so manipulative and clever in his control.

She'd also been married several times previously. Quite codependent in her private life despite her business success. Which made it much easier for him to manipulate her

@LokisLover of course it's not her fault, but the Netflix series does her no justice, she just seems like a wet flannel to me.

I've also had an abusive relationship but thankfully woke up quickly!

@sleepalldays I think she and her mother had (very warped) ideas of 'saving men'. Watch the documentary after. Many women fell under his spell. Also, law enforcement (surprise surprise) were of no help either. So he got away with his actions for far longer than he should have

I watched the documentary on it before I realised they'd made a series out of it. I got half-way into ep1 before it dawned on me it was the same thing...

@sleepalldays yes it really did portray her that way, it was her simpering voice even with her daughters that annoyed me too. They seemed to walk all over her as well.

OMG the daughter just stabbed him!! He attacked her and the dog bless him was trying to help her.

Go on gal🎉🎉

I don’t know how the hell her mum forgave her son in law for murdering her daughter. That is just weird, weird, weird.

@LokisLover yeah that was super strange! (And really disrespectful to her daughter too).

If you listen to the podcast, she sounds exactly the way she is portrayed on the Netflix series. She says herself that she never gets angry. She obviously has loads of issues with men and relationships. There’s one bit in the podcast when she acknowledges that it was ridiculous that she took him back, but says that they were married and she took her vows seriously. I actually said aloud, ‘What about the other four marriages, then?!’ I’m incredibly curious about why her previous marriages ended.

@TitusAndromedom maybe I won't listen to the podcast then, can't stand her passive-ness

Yeah that is weird, did she not take her other vows seriously enough?

I thought the same, it's just depressing how a clever successful woman can and will put up with an unbelievable level of shit not to be single

@AmIRightOrAMeringue I know right? It's so depressing. Maybe her previous marriages broke down due to her work ethic/potentially earning more than the husbands?

I went through a very similar experience to Debra (and had a book published about it). I could honestly have written a list as long as your arm about how John’s behaviour is EXACTLY the same as my ex’s.

In Amazon reviews for my books I get a lot of ‘how stupid/gullible is this woman’. I get that, I really do. Because unless you’ve been at the hands of a psychopath yourself you don’t get it. I was an educated, sorted woman and someone came along with the sole intention of destroying me for his own fun. But what is hard to understand is the slow, snowballing way that people like that creep into your life, and before you know it you’re in too deep and too scared to leave. And they are very good at getting your sympathy, and making you forgive their past misdemeanours when they feel you slipping away and they want to claw you back.

I never thought I’d fall for that kind of thing. But I did. If you’re a kind, caring person who takes what people say at face value it’s easy to get sucked in.

I know a man like Dirty John, I, along with a myriad of other women were taken in by him with the most devastating consequences.It can really happen.

I don’t know how the hell her mum forgave her son in law for murdering her daughter. That is just weird, weird, weird.

I can understand someone following their religious principles and forgiving him. Not something that I could do, but hey. But she took it further. She testified on his behalf at the trial (or sentencing)!!! Way to piss all over the memory of your daughter. It was a premeditated murder! Debra and her mother are both nuts and perfect prey for a predator.