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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think I shouldn't have to contribute to this?

59 replies

Callistone · 08/03/2019 09:37

Work recently introduced a dress down day on a Friday with donations for charity.

I WFH on a Friday and am never in the office, so I never get to take part.

My line manager has just emailed me to say that it has been noticed that I haven't given my contribution yet.

I mean, I don't mind in that it's for charity but.. If I'm not actively taking part, why are they assuming that I should? AIBU to say that I am not contributing?

OP posts:

twistable · 08/03/2019 09:39

God no. You are expected to contribute?! It's a charity. Charity giving is optional.

HarryTheSteppenwolf · 08/03/2019 09:39

If you're paid to work on Fridays, and if all of your colleagues participate, I think you should contribute, too.

Dafspunk · 08/03/2019 09:40

That is bonkers.

CalmdownJanet · 08/03/2019 09:42

That's odd, just reply "Hi x, no you haven't received a contribution, because I work from home so don't participate it hadn't actually occurred to me to be honest. I already donate to my own chosen charity monthly so I am happy with what I give already, I don't feel I need to give more to someone else's chosen charity for something I don't participate in. Have a lovely weekend, op"

Letthemysterybe · 08/03/2019 09:42

But why HarryTheSteppenwolf ?? It’s a charitable contribution for ‘dressing down’ whilst in the office, it’s not a ‘work on Friday’ tax.

TheInvestigator · 08/03/2019 09:42

How cheeky! What does he mean by "it's been noted". Have they decided to make this mandatory so if you don't do it, your file is marked... because that would probably be breaking some employment laws! They have no right whatsoever to dictate which charity you give too. If you were in the office and dressing down then you'd have to pay for that priveldge, but you're not so any donation you make would be completely voluntary. Your voluntary charity donations are your choice, not your companies. I'd be sending an email to that affect.

SuchAToDo · 08/03/2019 09:42

How much is the contribution?

Were you at work on Friday?

Are they saying it's expected of you all to contribute or optional?

If it's a pound of two contribute...if it's like thirty or forty pound then I'd have to think twice because for some people that would leave a dent in their income if they have huge debts and personal expenses in their life to pay...

TheInvestigator · 08/03/2019 09:43

*effect

AChickenCalledKorma · 08/03/2019 09:45

Stick your sharpest business suit on and take a selfie .

More seriously, chasing someone up for charity donations is well out of order. You are not participating so you don't need to pay.

Ruru8thestars · 08/03/2019 09:45

I’d be really cross if they tried to enforce that with me

Meandmetoo · 08/03/2019 09:48

No, bizarre that your line manager emailed you about this.

"Thanks for the email line manager, but I've got donations covered as I have a direct debit to (whatever charity) anyway" (even if you don't)

Or just ignore it, I would.

Drum2018 · 08/03/2019 09:48

Surely it's not compulsory. Even if you we in the office you could still dress in work clothes and not contribute. They can't force it. I'd reply stating that you make your own donations to charities that are applicable to you and your family on a regular basis so therefore don't feel the need to make further contributions to charity. They have a cheek!

Sexnotgender · 08/03/2019 09:52

That’s very odd!

Several offices I’ve worked in have been dress down on Friday for charity and even if you’re in the office it’s still optional.

CoolJule43 · 08/03/2019 09:54

YANBU.
Everyone has different charities they like to contribute to and I would only contribute to a charity if my choosing.

You didn't take part by going in and wearing whatever so have no need to pay.
Just say you aren't contributing as it"s not a charity of your choosing.

TedAndLola · 08/03/2019 09:57

Hell no. I don't contribute to my company' s charity because I have ethical problems with it. It's charity - it's optional.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 08/03/2019 10:00

Reply that you wear a suit at home on Friday!

That's mad, it's meant to be voluntary, are they keeping a spreadsheet of who has given what!?

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 08/03/2019 10:02

Is the charity a Manager's going away fund?
Your manager is a cf imo.

TheOrigFV45 · 08/03/2019 10:04

I'd turn this back to the manager and ask them

"Please can you clarify what you meant by your email? Indeed I have not contributed towards the charity. My understanding is that charitable donations are voluntary."

kayaholly · 08/03/2019 10:05

Donate a fiver and send a selfie of you in your jammies :P

Although I would have thought it's really rude of them to check who's donating and who's not, charity giving is not mandatory

AleFailTrail · 08/03/2019 10:05

I mean it would depend on the charity, and that depends on what I know/can find out about them!

viques · 08/03/2019 10:07

Say you are so so sorry, it slipped your mind, and oh, by the way, you notice that HE hasn't made a contribution to another charity which is close to your heart and that you will collect his generous donation on Monday..............

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/03/2019 10:09

How bizarre! Of course you don't need to contribute if you are not there to participate!

TixieLix · 08/03/2019 10:11

No YANBU. Respond to your line manager to say it's a shame it hasn't been noted that you're not in the office on a Friday and not taking part in dress down day.

I'd also say that as far as you're aware, donating to charity through work is not mandatory and you have your own favourite charities that are dear to your heart that you donate to regularly, so would prefer not to be guilted into donating to this one, unless it's been written into your terms of employment that you have to.

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 08/03/2019 10:13

Sounds like the manager who used to shame my colleague for not contributing to the tea /coffee fund - when he didn't drink any!!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 08/03/2019 10:14

I'd go with the message that @CalmDownJanet suggests. Comes across as factual without being rude or inconsiderate.

As for the staff member who noticed that you hadn't contributed to the charity yet, them I'd have an issue with as charitable donations are a personal choice and not something that anyone should feel compelled to partake in.

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