I can't cope with my kids. Aibu?

[Prusik]

I know I'm being unreasonable here. I should be able to cope. So many other mums do great with their kids but not me.

Mine are 1 and 2 (13m and 25m) and my husband works, studies and is at uni two weekends a month. I also work evenings.

I'm exhausted, broke, tired and at the end of my tether.

I spent most of the afternoon yesterday shouting at them which is just awful probably slightly exaggerating

I have them all weekend and then all week next week on my own. No childcare, no family support.

The toddler is freshly potty trained which is a whole nother headache. I just really want to sleep but if I nap when they nap I don't have the headspace to catch my breath and reset myself

My routine is
7-8 tidy kitchen, make breakfast, eat breakfast.
8-9 shower, dress, teeth, tidy upstairs eg tidy away clean laundry, make beds.
9-11.30 out and about
11.45 lunch. I tidy toys and rub the hoover over while they eat.
12.15-2 ish nap. If they both play ball. I tend to chill and catch up on work or housework. Mostly chill and work.
2- whenever, I chill with the boys. Generally telly to avoid too many toys. And then either go to work or prep dinner.
Home around nine ISH and then have dinner. Watch telly for an hour with DH and then go to bed.

That's it in a nut shell.

I shouldn't complain. I get a decent nap time every day but if one takes a while to go down and the other one gets up early it obviously squeezes that time on both ends

YANBU it's very tiring having two small ones and no help. Is there any way you could afford a babysitter for say 2 hours a week to give you a complete break from the children?
I hope it gets easier soon. Definitely try to get the older one in nursery as soon as possible.
My older child went to nursery 4 mornings a week when I was on maternity leave with my second. It made everything so much more manageable.

Feel for you OP - this is the age where I remember either making breakfast- snack - lunch- snack- dinner - constantly cooking, cleaning, picking up toys, chores chores chores. It's really tough and relentless, and then it's gone - and you have more time and the house becomes marginally - tidier.

Keep on with looking at it in the long-term it will be worth it for sure with the 6-months off

In the meantime, plenty of rest, be kind to yourself and the house doesn't have to be perfect!

Hi OP I had two with a similar although slightly smaller age gap and it was relentless. It's really draining and hardwork when they are that age. Mine are now aged 4 and 5 and it's so much easier, the small age gap is now a positive rather than a negative. Stick in there, it will start to pay off eventually, I'm sure you are doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for. It will get easier in the summer when the weather's nicer .

I found it useful to always have a few distraction techniques up my sleeve for when I sensed they were working towards a tantrum and me getting shouty - for example i'd get the bubbles out in the kitchen and let them pop them for 10 mins or so or I'd blow a balloon up. A quick change of scene and activity often helped disfuse situations and helped me to avoid getting wound up myself.

Just wanted to pick up on the Coeliac Disease part of your post as there are lots of throw in oven things you can do here too. Pretty much any meal you want can be made Gluten Free so do ask if you need advice.

@TheMoistvonlipwig what was your age gap? I haven't met anyone with a smaller age gap than mine twelve months is plenty small enough of a gap for me.

They're currently amusing themselves in the bath and the older one helped tidy up after dinner. Things will get better soon.

I can't complain too much. DH will be home tonight. Hopefully around 8pm. I think he's swinging home via Asda so I can have a leisurely morning with the boys tomorrow and take them to the farm rather than drag them round Aldi. I really shiu

No help I know but I genuinely don't know how most parents cope. I have one DD. She sleeps, is well behaved and has no additional needs. I'm still knackered. You're amazing at what you do, just carve out time whenever you can for you and make the most of it I'd say. Even if it's just a hot shower. DD goes to holiday club for a day here just to give me space but I realise that's not financially viable for everyone.

Hopefully it'll get easier as they get older