DSD mother and her priorities

[comeasyouare1]

My DSD mother has bought a contract phone for her, an iPhone 6s, DSD is 9! She now wants half the money every month for the bill from my husband having never discussed this. He's happy to pay this in addition to maintenance, which is substantial and significantly more than CMS have advised.

Today DSD comes home from school wearing a cheap pair of boots, none school uniform ones. They have holes in them and DSD has had wet feet all day and they are now sore. I feel her mothers priorities are completely skewed. I've suggested we buy her some proper school shoes as I can't bear her being uncomfortable. It's freezing here and it's rained solidly for the last few days. DSD says these boots are her school shoes.

My husband says it's pointless buying them as they'll end up on eBay. Other things we have bought, including tablets, games consoles etc have suffered the same fate.

I'm just at a loss with what to do! This is one of many examples of her poor parenting priorities. She is argumentative and unwilling to discuss any issues unless it involves getting more money, any ideas??

Can you buy her the shoes and write her name with a sharpie inside multiple places and on the outside somewhere too?

Buy her fitted shoes. Send her to school in them so they are worn and reduced second hand value. Bin old ones.

@Mmmhmmm what an absolutely fantastic idea! I never thought of that, thank you 😊

Ha! Was just about to say sharpie!

Sharpie works on all sorts of things....

Could DSD leave them in school, and change shoes once there? I guess it depends on how she gets to school. Could she walk in in cheap trainers, then change, and change back before going home.

You sound like a lovely stepmother, she's lucky to have you

Poor kid, and good on you for being so caring. No level of sneakiness would be too great for me in the endeavour of helping your DSD.

I’d be tracking the mother’s eBay auctions ahead of taking this to court one day. Lord knows what the woman is spending the maintenance on if she’s scrimping on school shoes...

I may be a cynical person here, but are you sure the phone is definitely going to your DSD? Perhaps your DP should ask for a copy of the itemized bill if he's going to pay half.....