To think she needs to consider rehoming the dog

[Asta19]

My mother is mid 70s and lives several hours from me. She’s always loved dogs but likes big boisterous ones that she then struggles to control! Last week her dog pulled her over while out walking and she’s broken her arm. In the past 18 months that’s now 3 bones she’s broken by being pulled over by the dog. She lives alone, doesn’t have any really close friends. I’m miles away and we don’t have the best relationship anyway. Although I did actually go and help her out last time when she broke her wrist. Anyway, she’s now saying she’s scared to walk the dog.

I don’t really see a solution here. I know some people use dog walkers but usually I think that’s while they’re at work and they still walk their dog at other times. I don’t know if you can get one to do 3 walks a day and if you can, I suspect it’s probably way too expensive (my mum only gets state pension). Even if my mum gets over her fear, which bone will she break next time? How long before she breaks a hip or something and ends up bed bound for weeks?

She’s gone to behaviour classes with previous dogs she couldn’t control (it’s a bit of a long-standing issue!) but it never works because she doesn’t seem to be able to be authoritative with the dog. The dog is the boss basically.

I know she loves the dog and if anyone has any other ideas then I’d be grateful to hear them. But I just think that if she can’t control the dog she has to consider rehoming, but maybe IABU.

I think you have answered your own Aibu. She has to re-home the dog, as she cannot give it what it needs.

Has she heard of the Cinnamon Trust? They offer volunteers to help in just such cases. It’s free and they take references. Worth a try? I understand your worries but surely she would be gutted to lose her pet.

Sadly I agree, the dog needs to be rehomed

Sounds a no brainer to me.

What kind of dog is it? My golden retriever can lift me off my feet ski jump style at times.

And worth considering what she’s walking the dog on. My 9 year old can walk my wolfhound in a dogmatic.

I don’t mean ski jump do I? I think I mean water ski style.

Like I say, we don’t have the best relationship but I don’t want her to lose her dog, I’m not that heartless! But I am struggling to see what else she can do. Thanks for suggesting the cinnamon trust, I’ll look that up. I’m not entirely sure on the breed, she got it from a rescue and I know it’s mixed breeds but I don’t know which ones! I’ve struggled to hold on to it at times when I’ve gone on walks with her so I can see why she can’t manage it.

She does have some kind of full body harness for walking, sorry I don’t know what it’s called, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

Puppy ski jump works too!

My fostered Greyhound (small for a grey) pulled me over twice (bloody squirrels) so I can understand how easy it'd be to get wrong footed by even the best behaved pooch.

Is does, sadly, sound as if the right solution may be to re-home. How sad though. Do you think your DM will accept that though?

Depending on the breed, larger sizes are better on a halti head harness type. Like my chihuahua cross can pull like buggery on a chest harness because that’s their strongest point.. obviously she’s tiny so I’m going no where fast but I could walk my friends 200lb mastiff with two fingers using a head collar, felt alien because I stood waiting on the inevitable flying lesson since she’d warned me she got said head collar for pulling.

With the head collar if they pull it pulls their head to the side so they physically can’t keep going. Some dogs hate them, some take a while to adjust and others are totally fine.

HarrysOwl I think she would struggle to accept it, which is why I thought I’d see if I could get any ideas before I talk to her. The thing is, her last dog died 3 years ago, then she got this one 6 months later. I just don’t understand why she chose another large boisterous dog when she knew she’d have difficulty handling it. That’s the bit I maybe feel a bit cross with her about is that she should have gone for something smaller even though to her smaller dogs are not as appealing. But at least she wouldn’t have broken bones!

Would the borrowmydoggie.com website be an option?

Like my chihuahua cross can pull like buggery on a chest harness because that’s their strongest point

That’s actually a very good point and is most likely why my mum is being pulled to the ground. I’ll speak to her about that.

I thought about borrow my doggy, but I don’t think anyone would want to commit to doing all of the walks and then it gets a bit tricky.

I can never understand why dogs are not trained to walk to heel. Mine have always done this and never cause trouble. Seems to me that the sooner dog/training classes are more available the better for all (dogs included). Probably, it may seem old hat now but if anyone can view Barbara Woodhouse on line, she is the epitome of common sense where dogs are concerned Dogs loved her and wanted to please.

First thing is to change to a head collar. Second is more dog training classes.

My mum loved Barbara Woodhouse! But sadly didn’t take her tips on board! My mums problem is she is just too soft on her dogs, always has been and as I say, it’s been a bit of a source of conflict before! We had a dog when I was a kid and it was crazy. He didn’t like people leaving the house so in the morning we had to climb out of the bedroom window to go to school! (We lived in a bungalow!). Her dogs have never lacked love but she doesn’t know how to have any control over them at all.

She probably chose another large breed as it’s what she was used to and doesn’t want to admit she’s aging.
Honestly dogmatics or similar are great. If it’s a harness it needs to be a perfect fit or similar where the lead joins the harness in two places.
Can she drive somewhere secure and just let it off lead?
Cinnamon Trust are brilliant. I walked a dog for them and they had a whole team of people working together. Great for the dog and the owner too!

I would suggest trying a head collar. It stops pulling.

She doesn't need to be authoritative. Positive reinforcement and practice practice practice is the best way to teach loose lead walking.

Dedication on her part with training would be the answer. She could also get a dog walker in or use a site like borrow my doggy. It's not fair to not walk it.

I'm assuming the dog is young? If she likes big breeds, in future maybe she could rescue a senior that is less energetic.

Yes the dog was only about a year or two old I think when she got it. I think she would say she doesn’t want an older dog as she gets too upset when they die! And yes I think she’s not facing the fact she’s getting older and her bones are not as strong as they were!

I have sent her a message re the head collar and asked her to take a look. I said to her that I’m worried she’s going to end up seriously hurt. I also don’t think it’s fair on the dog if she isn’t able to walk it. I’m going to see what she says about the collar and discuss it further.

I don’t want to sound negative but I don’t see training classes helping. I remember her going to training classes 40 years ago with our first dog, and then numerous times over subsequent years with each new dog and she just does not take it in at all. I don’t know why. She just doesn’t. She’s a very nervous person generally and I do think the dogs pick up on that.

I walk my lot with one finger each. Slip lead, take excess under chin, twist and pop over nose. My former trains now walk like angels. Admittedly, it’s only ever car to field, but boy, I’m glad I don’t get pulled now.

Aww if I was local to her I would help out.

She obviously loves her dog :(

Could she go back to the rescue she got it from for help?

In the unlikely event she's in North Kent I'd be more than willing to help with walks.

Saying that, having to leave the house via the bedroom window so the dog didn't get upset is exactly the sort of thing I will end up doing with a dog once I have one I suspect my future dog will be the boss of me too...